Soul Bound Detective Book Two: Bonds
by Dark ring of hope
Summary: This wasn't suppose to happen, it should not be possible. That was all I could think as I watched everything unravel before me, my past life coming back from the grave. Had I ever truly let go of it in the first place? As past reaches forward, the bonds I have depended on for so long begin to crumble. There is only one thing left to do, tell him the truth. Kurama X OC, sequel.
1. Chapter 1: Crash and Burn

**Yeah i know, its been a long time. Things have been, odd for me. Finished College and looking for a bod like a mad person, as is my beta so trying to connect to look over stuff, is a bit hard to do. As of now, i have finished the rough write of the epilogue to Light Footed Wanderer, and i had promised i wouldn't start posting this till i had finished writing that one. Now i just have to get my beta to look at the last few chapters and it will be finished so i thought i might let you guys have the first chapter of this, i know you've been waiting~ **

**You may have seen this story is rated M. this is because of some of the comment i got about my last story. This one is a bit more gorey and emotional, this some... slightly expliside scene. No citrus, sorry, i don't think it is necessary to write it. lol. Hope i dont loose anyone cause of this, its just a bit darker in places. **

**Anyway i hope you guys enjoy the first installment of Bonds!**

**Rate and Fav! ~ D.R.O.H**

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><p><strong>Soul Bound Detective<strong>

**Book Two: Bonds**

_"Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words." ― Rumi_

**Chapter One: Crash And Burn**

Izumi,

It has been mere weeks since the Demon World tournament, yet even with the barrier gone I have felt little threat here in the city. I cannot be sure if such a choice was the best to make, but at least neither Yomi nor Mukruo are on the throne. Part of me is glad that Yusuke didn't win either. I'm not sure whom I would have chosen to win if I could have picked. Either way, our new king seems more stable than the previous three at least. The next few years will tell whether it was right or not.

Hiei seems to have made a decision to stay in Demon World. I wonder if he has found new purpose among the Border Patrol or if it is because he has realized Yukina had long since figured out who he was and he is frightened to see her again. He left me with a few small words to you. He said that the next time you meet that 'your right hook better have improved.' I'm not sure what he means by this, but I'm sure you do.

Yusuke is still missing, and I am beginning to think he truly will stay away. I can't help but feel sorry for Keiko. At least I know you're coming home soon enough. Our time apart has left me with not a feeling loneliness, but a sense of pride. If there is one thing you must know by now it is that I am proud of you, proud to say that I care for you. You have lived and thrived through a trial that others could not. I look forward to spending time in your presence again.

Come home soon,

Kurama.

A sense of warmth spread through my veins steadily creating pathways that would last for years. I could hear his voice as I read it, could see him speak it to me as if he were whispering it in my ear. His letters were a never-ending joy for me, the support I needed when times had been grueling and I wanted nothing more then to lie down and give up.

This would be the last letter I would get from him, and so I found myself re-reading it as I stood by the mailbox. My training had ended a few days ago, and so I could finally return to the city, my apartment, and the life I had made before leaving. Or, at least what was left of it.

With a deep sigh I gently folded the letter and tucked it back into the envelope, slipping it into the pocket of my jeans. I pulled a pen and piece of stationary from my small bag and set to work on a reply, using the side of the mailbox as a table.

Kurama,

It still stuns me to think about everything that's happened in these last two years. Who would have ever thought that Yusuke could change Demon World? I certainly had my doubts when you wrote to me about his plans. Still, they worked out, and for that I'm glad. Between the new patrol and Enma's dethronement I wonder if there will even be any work left for me to do.

Hiei's words do have meaning for me, but that's better left explained in person – so that I can hit you if you laugh. He'll come back though; I know he will, both him and Yusuke.

By the time you get this letter I'll be packing to leaving the next morning. I'll miss my master and the ranch. It's much like my second home, yet I can't wait to see you again. Perhaps we can see a movie?

See you soon,

Izumi.

Once the letter was sealed and stamped I slipped it through the slot for out going mail and let out a long sigh. Two years. It had taken longer then I had anticipated. I should have been done almost three months ago, but the final training took more out of me then I had thought. As I start to walk away, the weight of purple head phones that lightly bounced on my shoulders remind me that they were there and I smiled. In the pocket of my jeans was a new MP3 player gifted to me by Kurama himself last Christmas after I had complained about my CD player dying.

Turning back towards the town I started over to a fence line where a palomino stood docked there. As I approached, the horse looked up from the patch of grass it had been nibbling on and nickered in greeting as I touched its neck.

"Ready to head back May?" The horse snorted in reply and I shook my head untying her from the fence. It would never stop surprising me how friendly animals were with Soul Detectives. It was just one of those really weird unexplained parts of the job.

Pulling myself up onto the saddle, I turned May and got her walking in the right direction. May was, according to my master, my horse. When I had first starting training with him six years ago I had been there when her mother had given birth. I had been mortified, but helped as much as I could. I remember falling asleep in the stable that night with the new foal and Kyo had rewarded me by saying she was mine and that I could name her.

Once we were out of the small, drive through town – where tumbleweeds out numbered the people – I pull my head phones back onto my head and clicked play as I kicked May into run. Couching low in the saddle I let my body ease into her gait and pointed her back towards the mountains in the near distance. It was an hour horse ride back to the ranch so I settled in for the long trip. If things were different, I would have flown there with Kuronue's wings, but these trips were personal. During the times I went to town to retrieve and write letters to Kurama, I left the pendant at the ranch. It was easier on both of us that way.

As May ran, music pumped like blood into my ear, the base making her steps sound uneven, the voice of _Angels and Airwaves_ the backdrop to our journey speaking of how dreams and lives and worries are all hallucinations.

Over the last year or so I had learned how to keep my own secrets from my partner, a way of shutting him out of certain memories. I did that with these letters, and as long as I didn't think about them constantly and he didn't go looking for them, then neither of us had to deal with the pain he felt that came with jealousy. The bat demon continued to try and get me to see things his way, to return his feelings for me, but he knew in the long run I couldn't do that. I had never allowed myself to feel that, and then I had gotten to know Kurama and… and then it didn't matter any more. One can only truly love one person like that; I wouldn't tear my heart apart trying to do otherwise.

The ride back to the ranch was quite, and I let my mind wander, making the time go by faster. When I finally reached the stabled located at the base of the stairs up to the ranch, the sun was starting to dip in the sky. I led May to her stall, undid her tack and brushed her off before feeding her and the five other horses. They all made sounds of protest when I left, and I shook my head smiling slightly as I slid the stable door shut.

"Izumi?" I recognized the voice even over the blaring music and so pulled my headphones off and let them hang on my neck as I turned around and faced Saitō. He was wearing one of the only things I ever saw him wear and I wondered if the SDF ever had a causal workday. I smiled at the black haired man and walked towards him.

"Saitō. What are you doing here?" Smiling slyly, I watched him watch me and shrug his shoulders.

"I just wanted to check on you. I know you must get frustrated up here with only your master to talk with."

"Well… I have Kuronue too."

"I rest my case."

I gave him a deflated look and he laughed slightly, waving a hand to the stairs. I sighed, and we started up them, my legs protesting slightly after being on a horse for so long.

"How is the SDF doing these days? I heard your leader was fired when Enma was dethroned. "

Saitō glanced at me before nodding his head, a small grimace on his face. I was rather sure everyone in Spirit World felt a bit betrayed by their former leader's hidden agenda, the SDF even more so, for not realizing he was letting demons into Human World for his own profit.

"We are managing. Shun-Jun has been appointed captain." He voice matched my scowl at that news. Honestly, how could Koenma put such a jerk in charge? I would have to speak with him about it. "I think it'll help when you're back on duty." He continued and I looked over at him, surprised.

"I didn't think there would be much work for me."

Saitō laughed and patted my shoulder.

"There is always work to be down Izumi. Not as much but…"

I frowned, stopping on the stairs. I didn't like where this was going. Saitō stopped to and turned to look at me. I met his gaze.

"What's happened?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, a habit I knew as a stressed gesture.

"There have been reports of rebel demon factions. Those who don't like the new rules. Those who had a taste of humans and don't wish to give it up. The patrol force lead by Mukuro and Hiei have done well in keeping them back, but we need to find the source." He gave me a knowing look. I was a very good tracker after all. "There is no one better at spying then you Izumi."

I snorted a bit shoving him in the shoulder.

"I'm not going to fall to your charms Saitō, I know them too well."

"I suppose you would, wouldn't you?"

I looked at him with a small, weary smile before looking down.

We didn't bring it up often – what had transpired between us in the first year of my job. I had been so devastated; I hadn't felt like I was truly alive, like this was my life. I had wanted to make up my own mind about something, anything. Saitō had been willing to help me.

"Do you ever regret it?" He muttered suddenly, and I sighed shaking my head. I had known that answer for a long time.

"No." I had lost count of how many times he had asked me that, I think he kept waiting for me to say something different. How could I truly regret something that I had wanted? In some round about way in the end, what we had, helped me move past everything that had happened.

Saitō eyed me for a few moments trying to see a lie that wasn't there but he smiled and reached out, squeezing my shoulder slightly. I was thankful for his loyalty, thankful that he'd stuck by me even after things were over between us. He was a friend I could count on, yet I knew at the same time his duties kept him from being there. I couldn't imagine a life as an SDF, living forever, but not truly living at all.

Yet even in this place, a place I called home, life keep moving, and for people like us it never stayed the way we wanted it to.

It rippled around us, the sound low and deep, it shook the ground and I had to catch myself from falling on the stairs. I looked up towards where the ranch was, so close yet still a distance up the stairs, and saw a plum of gray smoke rise up over the trees.

Saitō and I made eye contact for only a moment and then we were moving. He was faster then me without my borrowed demonic speed and I cursed, pushing my legs hard against the stone stairs. It seemed like they kept growing in number, like I would never reach the top. What had happened? All I could think about was Kyousuke. My master had to be all right; he was too smart for such a little thing to hurt him.

But how could I be sure it was a little thing?

Six years I had been on and off this mountain and never had I seen anyone even find it was always peaceful on the ranch, it was part of the reason I enjoyed being here. I broke the threshold gate arch at the top of the stairs and kept moving, my friend slightly ahead and to my side. I could smell ash in the air, the unpleasant smell of something besides wood burning.

We made it to the courtyard – a large open space with a rock garden and a water piece – just before another explosion went off. I saw red and orange and then black and gray as fire sizzled on the ground. Kyo jumped from a ploom, his back to me, his black hair blending with the smoke almost too well. The white garb of his spirit partner told me something bad was happening. For him to use his power enough to show it… something was very wrong indeed.

"Kyousuke!"

His head whipped around moving from me to Saitō and then back to me. He retreated back to us, his wristwatch glowing brightly as time stopped for a few seconds around us. Saitō looked a bit bewildered but seemed to try to ignore it.

"Izumi, you have perfect timing," my master sighed.

"What is going on?" I asked. He shook his head.

"I don't know. Demons are headed this way, and not lower class ones either. Izumi, they are dangerous. You need to get to Kuronue quickly, do you understand?"

I didn't. How in the world where there demons here? Only a handful of people even knew about this place, and why would they want to come here anyway? I knew I couldn't ask him now though; he couldn't keep this time lapse up for long when he already seemed to have used so much of it.

"I understand. I'll be right back." I looked at Saitō and he gave a quick nod, lifting his hands as they glowed white. Kyo scowled before turning and dropping the time shift. Fire blasted the ground near them but I knew better then to try and help now, so instead bolted inside the temple, heading quickly towards my room.

The entire place was a blur; I didn't take in any of it as I shoved my door open and skidded to a stop at my desk where the red pendant hung on a hook. I grabbed it, instantly feeling the tingle of our connection as I slipped the chain over my head.

" _Izumi?_" Kuronue was a bit disoriented by my frantic thoughts as he quickly sifted through them. "_How the hell did demons find this place?_"

"_I have no idea Kuronue, but they need my help. I'm not taking any chances, sorry for the quick awakening but we need to go._"

"_I understand._"

I left my room as quickly as I had come, only stopping to grab my communicator from the desk as well. I called to Spirit World as I ran, only to growl in frustration when nothing but white snow showed on the screen. Was it broken? I hadn't used the thing in a while, and I had dropped in a month ago while training. Was it possible for something like this to break? Cursing, I shoved the thing into my pocket and forgot about it for the moment.

Tapping into Kuronue's power and gaining speed in moments, I ran and let his power run through my limbs. "Soul Binding, 90%." I didn't care if it was overkill or not in those moments, I doubted I would have time to power up if I needed it later. I barely let myself stop at the door out and wince as Wings attached to newly formed muscles and my vision blurred momentarily then sharpened beyond what I had.

The courtyard looked like a battle zone. Animals were running everywhere and I felt my heart squeeze as Shinobu, my master's faithfull dog was thrown by a blast and hit a tree. I didn't stop to check on him, I couldn't, so I charged head first into the billowing smoke, my eyes stinging slightly.

I found the boys towards the tree line. Kyo was fighting two demons and Saitō was handling three. I quickly assessed their demonic energy and scowled. They were all B class.

I stood there for a moment unsure of what to do before I saw Saitō take a hit to the arm and jump back. Reflexively I gripped one of my scythes at my hip and pulled it from its holster and shot it out. I hardly ever had to aim any more as I yanked on the chain and made the speeding blade arch at one of the offending demons.

The male demon snarled as its shoulder was hit, and his red eyes found me quickly before a smirk crept up his face.

"There you are!"

All of the demons turned to look at me for a moment and both of my friends paled. I just stared.

"Take her!"

Kyo narrowed his eyes and I watched as he used his time magic to flit around one of the demons as if he was teleporting. He whipped out his Chakrams -deadly spiked rings the size of a human's head – and I watched in amazement as he flickered about and suddenly the wolf demon was on the ground, in pieces.

Saitō wasn't going to stand there either, but his energy only stopped two of the demons long enough for him to knock them back and continue to hold them off. The red eyed demon – who I realized was an elemental, for his hair was not orange like I had though, but a living flame – charged at me.

I narrowed my eyes blocking out my masters shouts – honestly, I was a big girl, I could handle a demon – as he fended off the remaining demon on his side of the area. Quick as ever both scythes went flying and I pulled them towards one another, cutting off the demon's escape route as he ran at me. I hadn't expected him to jump up, but that's what he did, neatly escaping my blades.

I grimaced, suddenly having to jump backwards as a fireball smashed into the ground near me, and exploded. Well, at least I knew whom to blame for the destruction of the ranch.

"You're mine Soul Detective!"

I dodged a few more fireballs.

"_What on earth is he talking about? He couldn't even know who I am, that's the point of the my job, it's a secret!_"

"_Less complaining, more dodging Izumi! We'll figure it out later, for now, just take him down!_"

I couldn't agree more. Replacing my scythes in their holsters, I flung my arms out to the side as the demon fell towards me, fire in hand. From an onlooker's view it might have looked like I was about to hug him, but that wasn't quiet what I was planning. Four bands on my arms lit up, the blood laced rune spells bringing them to life and under my control.

Quick as lightening they jumped from me, slithering like snakes as they soared through the air. The elemental looked a bit surprised and tried to throw a fireball at one. It simply smoked for a few moments but did not stop seeking its target. They latched onto the demons arms, binding them in front of him and crippling his power. As he fell towards me, moments from the ground, I took another step back and quiet suddenly struck out with my leg, landing a blow to his back and sending him face first into the ground, hard.

If I had a favorite power, it was the flexible armbands that were at my command to do anything – brought to life by dark energy and covered with runes drawn in the blood of their master.

The demon snarled on the ground and for a moment I thought he was done. My certainty didn't last though. Fire jets sprung up from the ground, too quick for me to completely dodge and I couldn't stop and scream as I grabbed at my left shoulder. Kuronue's shirt had been burnt away and my now blackened patch of skin started weeping blood instantly.

"Izumi!" At the sound of Kyo's voice, my head jerked to the side and I saw a new demons jump from the forest. Kyo was looking at me, and I could only stare at the gapping hole in his midsection. He let out a low breath as the demon he had been fighting came after him again, though he did appear to be missing an arm. "Get out of here!"

Those words froze me in place. Was he telling me to… run? How could things suddenly have gotten so bad?

No, no, no!

"Master!"

Something grabbed me from behind and I fell hard to the ground, pain lacing up from my shoulder. I struggled, trying to get the weight off, but finding my mind too panicked. Kuronue was snapping at me to calm down, to focus, but how could I when my master – a man who treated me like family – was so badly hurt?

Then the weight was gone, the fire elemental rolling on the ground in front of me from being thrown. How had he even gotten up with those binding on? Another set of hands yanked me up and for a moment I was dazed. Then I meet the eyes of Saitō and he was wearing the look he only got when he was truly worried.

"We need to help Kyo-" I started, but Saitō cut me off.

"You need to run Izumi."

For a moment I just stared at him, not believing his words, then I shook my head.

"What?"

"You heard me." He grabbed my arm and suddenly we were running from the battle, leaving Kyo to deal with the remaining demons on his own. I struggled, trying to pull free so I could go back.

"No! You can't do this!"

"I'm going to stay Izumi! I'll try to help him, but you're the only one that can get out safely and try to get help, now go!"

Because I had wings. The realization was heavy and bitter in my mind.

We stopped near the stairs and I found myself staring at my friend again. He tried to smile but failed. "It looks like they might be after you Izumi, and we've been caught off guard." He was right and I knew it but still I shook my head again. I could help, I had the power to help. "Izumi please, I'm going to see if I can help Kyo, but you need to get out of here. More demons are coming and we can't handle them all."

"Then why are you having me run? I could help!" I was beyond frustrated now. This was ridiculous. A blast sounded from behind us, and suddenly the bands I had used reappeared on my arms. Saitō gave me an even look. The look of a soldier, the look he wore on missions.

"Please, just get yourself to safety Izumi. We'll be fine. "

I moved to protest again but from behind us I saw a fireball and Saitō had just enough time to push me from its path. My vision clouded from the smoke and debris and when I was able to look around clearly again I found Saitō getting up from the ground, a bit shakily. I took a step towards him.

"Saitō!"

"Get out of here!" His voice was cold. I stopped. There was an order in his voice, something I had never heard from him before, and that scared me. "Now, damn it! Move!" He wouldn't look at me and I froze in place.

"_He's right Izumi. We don't stand a chance like this. We're out numbered, unprepared, and injured._"

"_Then why are they staying?_"

He was quiet for a moment, but he doesn't need to say it, only think it and I know.

They're staying to give me a chance to get out.

My heart clenched in my chest and I felt like I had failed, I had some how derailed from the good day I had been having. Minutes ago I had been laughing, joking, looking to the future with a smile. Life is cruel that way though, and so I seal away those happy moment before they are tainted further. Slowly I made myself turn as I heard footsteps coming and gave Saitō one last fleeting look.

Then I pushed forward and jumped off the stairs, unfolding my wings and gaining height in the sky. I turned west and headed away from the pillars of smoke that rose from bellow, and steeled away my heart. I didn't look back.


	2. Chapter 2: Numb

And I'm back! sort of...

My friend has agreed to look over chapters till i find a new beta reader... WHICH I CANT FIND.

So long story short, until said bate can be found, updates will be random do to it being at the mercy of my friend.

ANYWAY

Thank you to Verry-chan, COunting Sinful Stars, Guest and andhewillneverknow, for your reviews.

Now go and enjoy your new chapter! R&F

D.R.O.H

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: Numb<strong>

I hadn't been able to get to Spirit World.

I wasn't sure why, but the concentration needed to turn into spirit form hadn't been reachable. It might have been the pain, or it might have been the panic I felt. Either way, I hadn't gotten there, and the communicator still wasn't working.

Knowing that going back to the ranch was a hopeless idea, I headed back towards the city of Tokyo.

When I reached it four hours later it was pouring down rain. Unable to stay in the air I landed near the park and withdrew Kuronue's power for the time being. Then I started walking. I wasn't even sure where I should go. The rain quickly soaked me to the bone making the burn on my shoulder sting even more as it cooled and blood mixed with rain and cascaded down my arm and off my fingers like a spout.

I couldn't think straight. All I could see was Kyo being hit by that demon, watching the blood splatter to the ground. Then what had I done? I had run. Saito had ordered me away and I had done it in habit. I always followed an order. That was why I was a good asset.

How could I leave them behind though?

I was a coward. For all the bravery people said I had, I had run and left the ones close to me to die. Slowly, I sat down on a bench near one of the entrances to the park and stared at the ground, watching as puddles reflected images that were broken over and over with every drop of rain that hit. I couldn't seem to grasp at anything. I couldn't even get a hold of Koenma. My communicator was broken, there was no use trying again. Useless. I was useless.

"_I'm sure they'll be fine Izumi. Neither of them are weak or reckless._"

I didn't answer him. I wasn't sure how to reply. I knew I should have been cold in this rain but I didn't feel it. I couldn't feel anything.

"_Izumi please… you'll get sick if you stay out here like this._"

"_And go where Kuronue? The keys to my apartment were at the ranch. Everything was there._" I knew I could probably pick the lock; I had done such a thing many times. Or I could go to Kurama's, he would help me. Even so, for some reason I couldn't seem to find it in me to move. "_What's wrong with me?_"

"_You're in shock._"

Shock? That didn't make much sense to me. I had certainly seen worse things in my life than this. How could I be in shock? A shiver racked my body and I bit my lip closing my eyes shut against the rain. How had any of this happened?

Some where in the distances of my thoughts I heard music and realized I never turned off my MP3 player, and that my headphones were still around my neck. Some how they have survived intact and continued to play my music on a repeat cycle. I tried to listen to the music, if only to distract myself, but I couldn't seem to focus on it. I caught a few words, a line: _'…Tell the world that I'm coming home…'_ but couldn't seem recall the band or the title.

I'm not sure how long I sat there, but after a while the rain suddenly stopped hitting me, though I could still hear it pounding on the ground. Had I truly lost all feeling then? Opening my eyes I frowned looking up to see an umbrella.

"Hey there, didn't think I'd be seeing you for a little time yet." I recognized the voice, but was unable to place it until I looked up at the person holding the umbrella. Her light brown hair had been pulled back for once and she had what looked like grocery bags in her left hand. Shizuru's face was calm like every time I had ever seen it, and for once I didn't see a cigarette in her mouth or hand, though I guess that wouldn't go well, given the rain. She regarded me silently for a moment and when I didn't replay she crouched to come eye level with me. "What are you doing out here kid?"

It was almost a laughable statement; I was rather sure we were close in age - though she had no clue of that. I shifted a bit, my eyes landing back on the ground as I formed words.

"Something happened…" It was hardly an explanation, but I had a hard time trying to put into words what I had seen. The young women 'humph'ed, her eyes trailing over me before stopping on my shoulder, where they widened slightly. The shirt I wore was black with white sleeves, but my injured shoulder was only partly covered thanks to the melted fibers. I was rather sure the fabric was also stained red with blood that not even the rain had been able to wash away.

"You're hurt." It was rhetorically, but I nodded my head slightly anyways. "Something bad happened then?" Her questions were simple and I nodded again. "You need to get that treated. You're a smart girl Izumi, why haven't you gone too red's?" Her voice was soft for once, and it took me a moment to realize she must have been talking about Kurama. I shook my head slightly.

"I thought about it. Then I realized that wasn't an option. Showing up on his family's porch like this would be odd enough on it's own, but they don't even know who I am." I hadn't really thought about it, but as I spoke my own words made sense. Shizuru seemed to understand too.

"Good point." She stood up and the next thing I knew she was pulling me up by my uninjured arm. I looked at her slightly confused but she simply rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to just leave you out here. Come on, you're coming home with me. I'll have my bro call Kurama for you."

I wasn't sure how I felt about any of it; I hated how hollow I felt. I hated how I wasn't use to this type of loss yet – surely I was by now. Useless. The word was a hiss in my brain and I felt Kuronue flinch at it.

We walked mostly in silence, her hand never left my arm as she practically dragged me down the street and to an apartment complex. We took the elevator, which I found myself envying just slightly. How many times had I wished for one when climbing those stairs up to the ranch? The ranch... every thought went back to that moment. I watched the numbers climb up to six before the doors reopened with a ding and we stepped out. I was glad she didn't question me, for I wasn't sure how I would explain it. I was sure at some point I would have to though, but for now I just let my mind remain blank. We stopped in front of a door labeled '613' and she took out a key, opening it before stepping in side.

I followed suit as she took off her shoes, though getting off knee high combat boots took a bit more time then her slip on work shoes. Once we were in the main room - a room I remember from the night after facing the doctor at the hospital - Shizuru set down her bags and collapsed umbrella.

"Kuzuma, get your rear out here! We have a guest."

I found myself smiling slightly. The interaction between brother and sister was something I had known well a long time ago, and such things never faded. A door opened somewhere deeper in the home and heavy footfalls followed at the carrot-top appeared around the corner.

"Geez sis, what's the- Izumi?" I gave his surprised expression a watery smile. His eyes ranked over me much like his sister had before he quickly walked over to us. "What happened? Are you alright?"

"Does she look alright bro? Honestly…" The brunt shook her hair. "I'm going to try and get her a little cleaned up, she's pretty banged up. I need you to call Kurama for me, tell him she's here and hurt. See if he has any miracle plant stuff for burns. Looks like she has a pretty bad one." Kuwabara nodded his head still giving me a worried look.

"Yeah okay. I'll call him right away." The boy turned on his heels and headed into the kitchen where a phone hung on the near wall. I didn't get to watch him dial it, as my arm was tugged forward again and I was led down the hall and into a small, light blue bathroom. I was instructed to sit on the counter and so did do as the women opened a cabinet and rummaged around in it.

"Let's take those off for now." She lifted the headphones off my head and I carefully dug the player from my pocket and hand it to her. "This is nice, it is one of the new ones right?"

I nodded my head slight. "Kurama gave it to me for Christmas last year…"

"Ah, should have guessed. He is spoiling you." There was a smirk in her voice as she sets the player and headphones on the counter. "You must have gotten something really good for your birthday." She waits for an answer but I can't give her one. Kurama had never known my birthday, I had not been sure whether to give him the fake one I used, or the one I really had, and in the end I had just never said anything. "Can you get out of that shirt, or should we just cut it apart?"

She was pointing to my shirt, it was ruined, I knew that much, but I didn't feel like having scissors that close to my skin. Slowly I grabbed the bottom of my shirt with both hands and pulled upward and over, turning it inside out as it was stripped from my body. My arm screamed in protest and I grimaced slightly but easily throw it into the bathtub across the way.

"No need to be so rough," she muttered raising an eyebrow. I looked her in the eyes and frowned.

"I've had much worse." I wondered off hand as those words left my mouth what I was hoping to get from saying that. I didn't want pity; I wasn't sure why I had said it. Maybe I had hoped it to be a comfort? I frowned, wondering if all of these thoughts I was having were the result of shock or just the fact that I was slowly, but surely, losing my mind. Shizuru scanned over my exposed skin, her lips becoming a line.

"I can tell." Her voice was held at an even tone, but I knew she was surprised, I knew what she saw of course. My skin was pale thanks to my Caucasian bloodline. Whether it was because of that or because of something else, it had always scared easily. I was no Spirit Detective, but that didn't mean I hadn't seen combat before the demon portal crises had started. Most of my bad wounds had been treated quickly and Kyo had used his time powers to reverse the wounds. If they had been minor I hadn't bothered or if they had been left alone too long, there was little point.

There were many scares on my body, most of which were small and simply just raised, puckered skin that one only saw if you were looking closely. There were those that were more visible though, ones that had healed red or purple in scar tissue. The one on my upper right arm where a wolf demon had bit me, the patch of discolored skin on my left side where a hand that been. The one I hated most was the recent one though, the one that went from right shoulder to below my caller bone, the one that Sensui had given me. I should have counted myself lucky that it hadn't cut all the way though, but I was ashamed that I had been put in such a position to begin with.

"Guess this explains all the long sleeved shirts." Her tone was slightly humorous and I blinked looking at the older women who smirked slightly before leaning forward to look at the burn. "You're certainly a fighter kid. Who says only men had take a hit! Humph, they need to meet you." I smiled slightly at her abrasive words.

"I doubt you go down very easily either."

"Course not. Who do you think toughened up my little brother? Certainly not our parents." Now that she mentioned it, I wasn't sure I had even seen their folks before. It was possible they worked all hours of the day, but I had a feeling the siblings had either moved out, or they were on their own. Whatever the case, it wasn't any of my business. "I hope that fox of yours had something for this; I'm not sure what to do for you." She tapped her chin. "Normally ice is good for pain, but you don't want to suffocate burns, it will just make them harder to deal with. Maybe a spray bottle? Keep it cool at least."

"It's okay, the rain didn't really help before so…" I tried not the think about the title 'my fox' too much, as Kuronue was already growling quietly in the back of my mind. He had been quiet since she had shown up, probably to give me some space, but that didn't mean he didn't hear everything.

"_Kuronue… put a sock in it…_"

"_Too bad, I don't wear socks._"

I sighed and was about to replay when I heard the front door open. Shizuru stopped and looked into the hall way as some voices were heard and then some quiet footsteps approached. Kurama appeared in the door way moments later, damp and slightly breathless. Shizuru raised her eyebrows and looked to me as I sat there calmly with nothing but a bra on and lifted a hand a wave slightly.

"_You could at least look embarrassed…"_

"_Why? Kuronue you have seen me butt naked for years, I have no dignity left to feel shy about it."_

"…_hnn"_

"Izumi." Kurama muttered, sighing as his eyes flashed over me and then zeroed in on my burnt shoulder. He turned, and looked at Shizuru "Thanks for looking after her, I'll take it from here."

The brunet shrugged her shoulders and turned to the exit.

"Fine with me, I need a cigarette any way."

Once she was gone, Kurama took her place and looked at the wound more carefully. After he had assessed it completely he sighed and then, quite suddenly, pulled me into a tight hug. I was a bit stunned honestly, and just sat there for a bit before slowly letting my chin drop onto his shoulder. After two years, he still smelled like he always had - of the forest and spice. I closed my eyes tightly and bit my lip. Two years, and we were finally together again.

"You scared me to death," he muttered, running a hand over my wet hair. "This was the last thing I had expected to get a call about tonight." He pulled back and looked me over again, his figures trailing over my arms. "You're shaking… are you cold?"

I hadn't even realized I was trembling, but sure enough as I looked down, my hands trembled where they lay in my lap.

"I…yeah I guess."

"Alright. I'll finish this up quickly so you can get covered up again." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small container, one that might have been used for lotion at some point. "This will help with the burn. It's from a plant found in Demon World, one of the ones I tended to keep with me at all times even back before this life." His smirk widened at my confused look. "Sometimes traps explode if you trigger them on a heist. Some even shoot fire."

"_Ah, he's right. Quite a few of our gang got singed once in a while._"

I nodded my head and watched as he popped the lid off and started spreading yellowish goo on to the burn. I had expected it to sting like the rain had, but what I felt was a sudden tingle and chill, like eating a breath mint.

"This is pretty bad." He noted, fishing for an explanation. I lip my lip and looked back down at my lap. When I didn't reply he paused. "Izumi?" I shook my head. After a moment he sighed slightly and got back to work. Once he'd finished he put a patch of gauze on the area and tapped it on. "There, that should get things back in order."

I nodded my head again, a bit reflexively and he reached out to brushed my hair out of my eyes. I must have lost my clip at some point, I noted.

"You're going to have to tell us what happened." He watched me carefully as I thought about his words, but I had little to think about. I already knew I needed to say something.

"I know."

There was a knock on the doorframe moments later and I looked up to see Shizuru again, this time with a bundle of cloth in her hands.

"These are some of my old clothes, they should fit okay. You need to get out of those rain soaked ones before you get sick." She nods to the counter I am sitting on. "There is a hair drier under the sink."

I gave her a small smile. "Thank you." I took the bundle and found it soft between my fingers. When I looked to Kurama I tilted my head and nodded to the door. "I will be out in a minute."

"Alright." He stuffed the jar back into his pocket and followed Shizuru back out into the hall, closing the door behind him.

Once I heard their foot steps fade I set to work. I peeled off my socks and undid the belt to my jeans, letting them drop to the floor. I took out the hair drier and set to drying my undergarments the best I can, unable to stand wet underwear.

"_Izumi if things are too hard for you, maybe you can tell them later?"_

I shook my head and, once I was sure they were dry, pulled back on my garments.

"_They need to know. Maybe they can contact Koenma and get him to send someone to the ranch."_

"_I guess…"_

We both knew there was little hope by now though. I continued dressing, pulling on what seemed to be an old sweats set in dark green and a plain black t-shirt, as I heard the murmuring of voices beyond the door. I zipped the jacket up all the way and then turned back on the drier to work at my hair. Because it was so long, it took a lot longer then I wanted to wait, so I simply got it to the point where it was mostly dry and put everything away.

I took my last glance at the mirror, pulled Kuronue's pendant out to lie on top, and opened the door. I followed the path I had taken to get to the bathroom, the murmur of voices getting louder with each step I took. When I entered the main room, all three pairs of eyes came to rest on me and I shifted slightly before walking over. The siblings were both sitting in armchairs across from the couch I went to, where Kurama sat.

I looked at the red head for a moment and he gave me a gentle smile, but it did nothing for the knots in my gut. Still, I knew I needed to say something, if I were to get started with explaining anything.

"_I might need your help explain some of what we saw._"

"_No problem._"

The pendant at my neck glowed red and moments later the translucent figure of the bat demon sat next to me, floating ever so slightly above the couch. The Siblings looked startled for a moment, but Kurama merely nods at his old friend. I took a deep breath.

"I need to tell you how I got to be here. But first one of you needs to contact Spirit World, I wasn't suppose to be back till next week, but something… something bad happened…"

By then I had caught everyone's attention and with Kuronue's help, I told them what had transpired at the ranch hours ago. They were confused and surprised, but I tried to answer their questions so they would understand. I just hoped by the end of it, that I would understand why it came to be as well.

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><p>Something new I'm doing: instead of waiting till the end of the story for you guys to find out what gave me inspiration, for chapters, i'll be posting a 'playlist song' at the end of each chapter.<p>

Ff you listen to the songs, you'll understand why they matter!

Izumi's playlist Song: _Deteriorate_ by Demon Hunter


	3. Chapter 3: Raw

A big thank you to Counting Sinful Stars and Verry-chan for your reviews!

for the time being i'm having a friend look over these chapters... still looking for someone to handle my other stuff as lest... I'm kind of picky so i would have to talk to them first...

ALSO!

I have a tumblr... because i was bored! Its a place you guys can go and check out stuff i dont post on here like art, quotes, extras and ever personal reasoning behing my stories. You can even ask me questions. So if your into the whole blog thing go check it out! My user name is FeatherFang, i'll be putting the link for it on my authors page here.

Doesn't have much yet, but it will in time.

Anyway, enjoy! R&R

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><p><strong>Chapter Three: Raw<strong>

When we finally leave the sibling's apartment it is still pouring down rain in sheets that looked almost solid. This time though I was dry and safely under an umbrella, Kuronue's pendant tucked way under my shirt and Kurama's arm over my shoulders, if not in a romantic way than at least to give me the comfort my eyes must have been pleading for.

We walked in silence, only the sound of the rain and our feet splashing on the water logged ground, as he lead me back to the apartment I have not been to in two years. I might not have a key to it now, but he was a retired thief, and such skills seldom go rusty.

I was glad for the silence; it gave me time to try and think. I knew he knew that I was grieving, in my own way, for I must have been deathly pale by the end of my story. I did morn as we walked. My chest ached and my head pounded, but my eyes stayed dry. I wasn't sure why I didn't cry, but for some reason the salty water didn't come, had not come in quiet a while – so long I can't remember the last time they appeared. It must have been years, I realized, and I truly wondered if there was something wrong with me.

We were at the complex faster then I would have liked, and I climbed up the flights of stairs with little thought. It is like riding a bike. It was a wonder that after years of going up and down this same path I haven't started leaving ruts in the metal.

Kurama found the apartment door and left me with the umbrella as he hunkered down to the doorknob under the small shelter from the roof. A small vine appeared from under his sleeve, slinking out and penetrating the small keyhole. For the first time since seeing him again, I was struck by the difference in his aura.

In one of his letters he'd told me about how he'd given up his true form, sealing away half of his powers until his mortal life ran out. I didn't understand his reasoning, but I knew what it felt like to lie about everything.

"_His power is far less then before."_

I heard Kuronue grunt in agreement, felt his eyes through mine as he looks carefully at the redhead.

"_He has to know that denying who he really is will come back to bite him."_

"_It's his choice…"_

"_It's not smart Izumi. I just hope it doesn't cause anything to end up in a mess_."

I was pulled from our conversation by the sound the door's lock clicking open and Kurama stood, pushing the worn door in. I give him a small smile in thanks, and walk in, pulling off my boots again and setting them near one of the heating vents. They are soaked and I hope to dry them before I need them again.

Kurama shadowed me, hanging up his coat and the umbrella on a vacant row of hooks. I wanted nothing more then to lay on my bed and not think, but it was cold and dark in the apartment. I fumbled for a moment before sighing and leeching power from Kuronue, my vision suddenly turning clear and bright in the darkness.

I found the fuse box quickly and turned the power back on. Through the wall I could hear the generator kicking back to life and it reminded me that this apartment isn't fed through the grid because Koenma owns it. Once I'd flicked on the lights and turned the heat on high, I finally ran out of things to occupy myself with.

I found myself staring at my living room. The bookshelves were missing quiet a few of their residents and there were white sheets thrown over the furniture. Almost everything that had made this place me was gone, back up at the ranch and most likely ashes or in pieces. My heart clenched when it dawned on me that my violin was among those things.

"Izumi?" I didn't hear him approach, but I felt his hands as they touched my shoulders, and felt his breath dance over my scalp. "You're still icy." He rubbed my arms with his hands and I frowned, turning around to look at him. His green eyes look at my hazel ones and he reached out to press a hand to the side of my face. "You're exhausted as well."

I bit my lip. I knew he meant that I should sleep, and I found myself frightened that I might be left here alone, even if just for the night. I pressed my face to his hand and closed my eyes.

"Will you stay?" I asked finally. "I don't think I can sleep…I'm too over exerted, and wound up." I was being a child. I knew his family is probably wondering where he had run off to. I knew it was inappropriate to even ask such a thing after two years apart.

Where did we even stand any more? Letters were all well and good but…

"I'm not going anywhere." His words were soft, but crisp and even as they always were. I should have known he would not leave, but I had still thought he would, still told myself he had places to be. "I just need to call mother and let her know, alright?"

I gave a short nod of my head and he smiled slightly. I wasn't sure what he was planning on saying to Shiori. He could lie, but something told me he'd tell her mostly the truth. After all, he'd given up a large portion of his power so he wouldn't have to lie to her, so why do it now?

"Why don't you see about getting your bed ready? You really should try to sleep tonight. I'll see about getting something to eat."

Food. I hadn't had anything since breakfast, I should have been starving, but all I really felt in my stomach was a stinging raw feeling like sand paper had been rubbed against it.

I wandered off to my room as Kurama took out his cell phone, dialed in a number and pressed it to his ear. Much like the rest of the apartment, my room was mostly barren, though seeing as I had my own furniture and bed up at the ranch everything was still in place here. I walked over to the bed pushed up against the side of the room and pulled off the white cover to show the dark blue comforter I had left on it.

I walked around my room a bit like a ghost, stopping in front of the dresser and taking my headphones from my neck, putting them and my music player down on it. After a moment I also pulled out the dead communicator and sighed, setting it down as well. I couldn't seem to get my head in order today, though who could hardly blame me? Sighing, I walked back over to my bed and sat down on it.

"Izumi?" Kurama appeared at the door way and I gave him a small smile. "I'm going to meet my step-brother half way. Mother is sending some of the meal she made tonight. I didn't have a chance to eat before I got the call." He smiled slightly rubbing his neck. I nodded my head, feeling a bit guilty. I had just crashed back into his life. Part of me wondered if I should have. He looked me over before walking in and over to me. He crouched looking at me in the eyes, "Just try to rest alright? I'll be back shortly."

"I know. I'll try," I muttered, nodding slightly. The redhead frowned, not seeming to believe me, but stood up again all the same. He glanced at me once more before turning and head for the door. I waited till I heard it shut behind him before I flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

I lay there for a good two minutes before sitting back up and wondering back over to my dresser. Absently I push the play button on my player again and hear the music play faintly through my headphones. Then I started rummaging around in the few boxes I had left behind in my closet.

"_What are you…?"_

"_Didn't I leave some of my newer clothes here? Because I didn't want to ruin them during training?"_

"_Maybe? I don't really remember you have too many articles of clothing." _

"_I am female Kuronue."_

"_Trust me, I know."_

I rolled my eyes breaking the tape lose on one of the bigger boxes and smiling in triumph when cloth met me. As I dug around for something to sleep in I let my mind go black, let myself hear the faint music playing in the room.

'…Believe in hallucinations? Silly dreams and…'

Odd, wasn't that what I had listened to on my way back to the ranch earlier today? Maybe the music had already run its loop and was repeating. As I lifted up a long sleeved nightshirt I suddenly heard something that most defiantly wasn't _Angels and Airwaves_. The loud constant beep was one I knew well, but had not thought I would be hearing anytime soon. Turning around I walked over to my dresser again and stared at the communicator on it. It was flashing its little light and beeping in warning that I had an incoming transition.

"What the hell…" I muttered, knowing that the thing had not worked at the ranch. I had been sure it was dead. I picked it up after another beep and walked over to my bed, sitting down and opening the flip screen. The screen turned blue for a moment and then slowly the image of a teenage Koenma with his office backdrop appeared on the screen. I stared, and stared, and then shook my head. "Eh… Koenma?"

The prince looked a bit relieved. "Good, you finally picking up."

Finally? What the hell did that mean?

"I…Koenma. I don't understand. I tried to call you hours ago, but the communicator never lit up. I thought it was broken."

"What are you talking about Izumi? They don't break, not unless you through them in lava or smash them." He frowned at my very confused expression. "We got your call, your image appeared on the screen for a moment and then I heard an explosion in the background and suddenly the connection died. I tried to call you back but you never answered."

I was flabbergasted. "I… Koenma, I never got a call, this was the first time I heard it beep all day." I shook my head confused and tired. "Never mind. Koenma, something horrible happened, the ranch was attacked by demons, and not lower class. Kyo and Saitō… they stayed behind so I could get out."

"I am aware. I sent a dispatch group after I lost your signal along with Saitō's. They are still searching the area, but right now they haven't turned up anything." He frowned seeing the panicked expression on my face. "I am sorry Izumi, I will contact you as soon as we know anything. If you think of anything that can help… contact me."

I heard my apartment door open and footsteps come towards my room as I nodded at the little screen. "Alright, sir."

Koenma looked at me for a long moment before sighing and nodding his head. "I'm glad you're alright. Get some rest Izumi." With that the screen went blank. I stared at it for a few more seconds before pressing my lips together and closing the flip screen. I was starting to get tired of hearing that.

Looking over to the side I saw Kurama quietly leaning on the doorframe watching me with worry in his eyes. I gave him a small smile and he smiled back holding up a bag with one hand. The smell of food wafted in to the room and my stomach suddenly clenched and complained at how empty it was.

I stood up and placed the communicator on my nightstand before following him out of the room and into the kitchen where a small wooden table sat. The dish Kurama revealed was chicken curry and rice, and I couldn't help but be glad it was something simple and slightly normal. I had never been able to get myself to like Miso Soup or Sushi, which was a problem in a country like Japan.

"It was nice of your mother to send this over." I muttered eating a bite of it. Kurama nodded his head eating his plate as well. We ate mostly in silence, and I wasn't sure if it was because we were both so hungry or if neither of us could think of anything to say over food. Most of my thoughts just seemed too heavy for dinner conversation.

Once the food was gone I placed the plates on the counter by the sink and stood there for a moment mulling over my thoughts. "Kurama?"

"Yes?"

I shifted a bit looking at my reflection in the metal sink head. "Do you… think its weird that I haven't felt like crying? I mean, I'm devastated, I can't stop thinking about it, all I want to do it sit down and cry, but I can't seem to. The feeling just isn't there…"

Quiet footsteps were my answer and suddenly his hands were on my shoulders again, pulling me around to face him before I was suddenly tight against his chest. Some part of me reveled in it, finally being held by him again and I buried my nose into his shoulder. Kuronue, for his part, stayed completely quiet.

"It's not that weird." Kurama finally answered me, his hand smoothing my blond locks. "As cruel as it might sound, your mind is just used to this amount of emotional pain. You haven't told me much about your life before I met you, or the life you had before you died, but I cannot help but think you went through quiet a lot to get where you are today."

I thought about his words quietly, and realized quickly that he was right. Feeling that type of pain over and over again was like watching horror movies or getting a shot. You got use to it. "The first few years here… I did a lot of crying." I confessed, resting the side of my head on his chest. "Everything about this life was so different. I hated it. Kuronue upset me constantly, the training was brutal and when I started doing missions… when I killed my first demon, my first human?" I frowned thinking about how much I had cried during those days. Part of me had wished I had stayed dead.

"The same is much for me." The redhead muttered. "We've both just gotten used to seeing things like this happen. Your mind is just desensitized to it. It would probably take something worse than everything you have felt to really cry again. As it would for me."

Kurama was over a thousand years old. I wondered quietly if there was anything had hadn't already had to endure. If there was anything that would hurt him so badly that he might shed tears. I hoped that day never came, for both of our sakes.

"Come on, let's get you settled down into bed." He muttered, pulling back and taking my hand before leading me back to my room. "Get changed." He nodded to the nightshirt I had set out. "I'll be right back." He left the room I was sure to give me some privacy, and I snorted slightly at the thought. As if I even knew of such a thing anymore…

"_Hey!"_

"_Oh, hush, you know it doesn't bother me anymore."_ I pulled off the borrowed sweats and unclipped my bra before slipping on the dark blue shirt. It tumbled over me, falling to my knees. Lastly I changed my underwear and then sat down on the bed. _"I'll see you in the morning Kuronue…I think we both need some sleep."_

"_Yeah… alright. Just, don't let him do anything you don't want to Izumi okay? I know you trust him but…"_

"_I hardly think he's going to try anything with me in this state Kuronue. I can take care of myself after all."_

"_I know. Night Izumi."_

"_Night."_

With that I pulled the pendant from my neck and set it on my nightstand our connection breaking as I let go of the chain. I sighed looking at in and shaking my head. It was like having a protective father all over again… if that father wasn't related to you and only said such things because he had a thing for you.

"Ag." I rubbed my face with my hands. My life was so messed up.

"Izumi?" Kurama peaked into the room and I waved him in. He smiled walking over to me, his eyes flashing to the pendant. "Finally alone are we?"

I nodded my head slightly, relived that I could speak to him more freely now. I hadn't had the energy to block out Kuronue. I stood up in front of him, not at all effected my his wondering gaze and stepped close to him my face in his neck again.

"I missed you …so much." I whispered the words I had been thinking all night since he'd appeared at the Kuwabara's apartment. I wasn't sure where our relationship stood after such a long time, but I knew where I stood. I still needed him; nothing had changed for me, nothing at all. His arms fell tight around me, his breath in my ear.

"I missed you too." He moved a hand, caressing my face with his thumb and pulling my head back to look at him. "I was worried when I got that call from Kuwabara, but a part of me… I was so glad to hear you were back, and then to see you again." He closed his eyes, his other arm tightening around my waist again. "I wanted nothing more…"

He trailed off and I nodded my head understand his thoughts. "Me too."

I hardly had the words out before he was kissing me. My eyes slid shut and my hands slid up his shoulders and pulled him closer. It deepened almost instantly, pent up emotion from two years flowed out as he tangled his hands into my hair. I gasped for air when he pulled away and kissed my neck, pushing me back so we could sit on my bed. I laughed slightly and ran a hand though his hair. Kuronue had been right about him, though, I had been thinking little else either.

I just wished I wasn't so god damn tired.

Sighing I pulled his head back up and kissed him lightly again before resting my forehead to his. "Sorry fox boy." I mused, "I'm not really up for anything hard core tonight."

He eyed me for a moment before nodding his head and kissing me again. This time as he pulled back he moved and pulled my shirt collar to one side, to check on my injury to make sure it was still covered. Once he was satisfied he stroked my hair, his calm exterior coming back into place.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I got carried away."

"We both did." I assured him before yawning for the first time that night. He chuckled slightly and I moved to swiftly get under the covers. "I don't know how you want to go about this..." In the short time we'd had together before I had left, he'd only spent the night once and that was because we'd both fallen asleep watching a movie on the couch. This was hardly that. I fidgeted, suddenly nervous about the whole thing. That in itself was silly. As if I had never had a guy sleep with me before…

"Relax." Kurama bent down and kissed my forehead. "Stay there." He waited for me to nod and then turned around and went to the light switch turning it off. In the darkness I watched him discarded his long-sleeved shirt, leaving an undershirt and his pants. He quiet easily moved around my body and carefully set himself on the bed next to me, above the covers.

"Won't you be cold?"

I heard a smile in his reply. "Demons don't get cold very easily Izumi. I'll be fine." I nodded my head and snuggled closer, my back pressing against his chest from between the fabric. I felt his hand run through my hair again before his arm lazily curved over me. "I'm here, you don't need to worry about anything, just let yourself go."

As if his words were the key to a puzzle, my eyes slid shut and my mind drifted, comforted by the warmth of his body next to mine, and his protective hold around my shoulders.

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><p>Izumi's Playlist: <em>Dive Too Deep<em> By Red Jumpsuit Apparatus


	4. Chapter 4: Suspicions

FFFFF... IDK but replaced the chapter with an older on... heres the right one, thanks to those who told me .;

Thanks to Counting Sinful Stars, Verry-chan and Skyla15699 for your reviews!

News: For now I have a Beta for this story, but for none of my short - which most of them are nearly finished. SO if anyone feels like looking for some short stories(ish) in: Naruto, Dragon Age(1 and 2) Or Yu-Gi-Oh(been on the back burner for who knows how long...) give a shout out - remember, i post these for you guys, i just enjoy writing them and seeing what you all think!

Enjoy the chapter~

R&R

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><p><span>Chapter Four: Suspicions<span>

"So… we just walk through it then?"

I felt rather foolish asking, but I did anyway. Kurama and I stood in front of a line of trees – not the forest line, no, far from it in fact, far deeper then any reasonable hiker would ever go – that looked normal to the human eye, but to those who used demonic eyes, or had a power to sense other forces, it was certainly not. With the warm hum of energy flowing through my eyes from Kuronue's powers – that turned my eyes blue like his – I saw the passage way. It wasn't a barrier; that had been taken down, but it was still a wall of sorts. In the light with the right eyes it looked like a pane of glass ran infantry in both directions in front of us.

Visiting Demon world to find Hiei seemed to easy…

"Yes." There was humor in the redhead's voice. "Not everything is so difficult Izumi."

I flushed, torn somewhere between embarrassment and aggravation at his comment. It was late afternoon now, the sun high over head, but I hadn't been up very long. Kurama and I had some how managed to sleep through the morning, not waking up till close to noon. I had felt a bit more refreshed after sleeping, a bit of my energy lighting up my spirit, but I still carried the weight of my lose on my shoulders.

It hadn't been long after we had eaten that I had told Kurama I needed to find Hiei and ask him about the attack. Koenma might have been tied up at the moment, but I wasn't, and I wouldn't just stand around and wait. I wanted answers.

Still, the idea of simply walking through a film to get to Demon World and back seemed … too easy. I had my fair share of trips to Demon World; most of my missions had been to deal with some demonic threat after all. I'd had to jump through small holes in the barrier to get there though, and then I'd have to find a way to safely reach the ground from the sky I appeared in. Thankfully, Kuronue had wings.

But to just simply walk on in? A lot had truly happened during my isolation up in the mountains for two years.

Rubbing my neck I waved slightly at him, dismissing any words of encouragement before they were spoken.

"Alright, just give me a moment."

He nodded his head and took a small step away from me as I touched the pendant hidden under my shirt collar. Twenty percent, I decided. I wasn't going into battle or anything; I just need protection from the toxic air and enough of an aura so that lower class stayed away. As normal, warmth trickled down over me, followed by prickles of pain and then slowly the light that had engulfed me faded.

I stood in Kuronue's cloths again – minus the hat, and plus my combat boots of course. Kurama gave me a weary smile. He had excepted the fact that his old friend and I were soul bound, but it still must have been strange to see a girl wearing what had once belonged to the bat demon.

"_It can't be that strange, I mean there were several times the girls I brought home felt the need to steal my vest and hat and such."_

I raised a hand and rubbed at a temple, giving the Kuronue my best mental glower.

"Are you ready?"

I nodded slightly at Kurama before walking to the wall and staring at it for a moment before taking a deep breath. Just one foot in front of the other. I stepped through. I had thought it would be something like falling through a window, but instead I was met with the feeling of running through water. My movements felt sluggish and my arms felt like they were being tugged backwards.

Then it was over, my next step touched the ground and the resistance was gone. I stumbled slightly, dazed by the sudden change before turning around. The same glass like wall met me, except instead of the normal green and dark blue of the human forest, the red and purple of the demon forest stood around me. I looked around, turning slowly in a circle, as I smelled the blood tainted air and listened to the chirp of spirit beasts, the buzz of insects the size of my fist, and the sluggish movement of man-eating plants.

Yeah, this was defiantly not a place I'd ever want to stumble into.

"Izumi?"

I looked over my shoulder as Kurama came up next to me and I frowned to myself. I'd meant to watch him come through so I could see what it looked like. I'd have to make sure he went though first on the way back. I rocked on my heels for a moment before smiling.

"Have any way of finding our oh so favorite grumpy fire demon?" I smirked and Kurama snorted, shaking his head before grabbing my wrist and leading me forward.

"If he is not here yet, then he is off duty and closer to the head quarters."

Honestly, I'd been joking. I hadn't really thought Kurama had Hiei's routine all figured out. Then again, this was Kurama.

We walked quickly through the forest and I took my chance to thread my fingers through his. True, we hadn't really talked about our relationship, but I'd enjoy everything I could until he denied me something.

When we broke through the tree line, we were met with the giant bug that was head quarters and I found my eye twitching as I looked upon it.

Who in their right mind would make their home inside a bug?

Oh right, Mukuro would.

Crazy, ex-slave, cyborg, chaos obsessed Mukuro.

I couldn't understand why Hiei wanted to be her heir.

"Nh. What are you two doing here?"

Speaking of fire demons. Kurama and I looked to our left as the cloaked forbidden child walked towards us, his hair shifting in the wind. I let go of Kurama's hand and put mine on my hip, smirking slightly.

"To see you silly! I missed my daily does of vertically challenged fire demon these last two years." The sarcasm on my voice was almost gushing. I saw Kurama coughed into his hand to stifle a laugh. Hiei just stared at me – more like glowered – until finally I wondered if I had offended him and moved forward to retract my statement. "Honestly can't you-"

And then he was moving. My eyes tracked him better then last time and I saw the punch as it came straight at me. I narrowed my eyes ignoring Kuronue and Kurama's startled shouts as I stepped to the side dodging the blow. Just as quickly I raised my own hand and swung forward. When my hand was inches from his face he suddenly vanished and reappeared a few feet away, causing me to stumble slightly. I got ready for another punch but the fire demon just eyed me from where he stood before grunting in some kind of approval.

Hadn't Kurama written about him saying I had better be better at throwing a punch or something? Ah, well it seemed I had passed his screwed up test either way. Kurama shook his head before coming to stand by me again.

"Was that really necessary?" When the only reply Kurama received was a glowering stare, he sighed slightly and got down to business answering Hiei's earlier question. "We've come here because of a rather disturbing event that has taken place Hiei, and you're the only one who can answer the question." Kurama was all business in his tone, and it reminded me of some of the memories of Youko from Kuronue.

Hiei frowned at us before crossing his arms and glancing from one to the other. "Talk then."

So we talked. I explained the best that I could everything that had happened to me in the last 24 hours and how Koenma was baffled that something like that had taken place. Kurama had pointed out that he hadn't been aware of any demons being let through to the human world side as of late.

By the end of it, the fire demon didn't look pleased.

"No, there haven't been any approvals to cross the boundary. Nor have there been any reports of illegal crossings. There must be another explanation."

"There isn't." I snapped, earning a looked from both men. "Five B class Demons Hiei. Five. And they all seemed to know what they were doing. This wasn't some random attack; no one is suppose to know where the ranch is. They planned this, which means some how they got through your or someone else's watch."

"Are you sure they were B class? Power means nothing if they could catch you off guard."

Frustrated by his lack of trust in me and took a small step forward and then quickly raised my hand to the caller of Kuronue's vest, and pulled it over my shoulder. It wasn't the red and black, puss filled mess it had been before, but the scar tissue forming was dark in tone and the scabs were black with dried blood. The burn was better then it had been, thanks to Kurama, but it was still a bad wound caused by a smart demon.

Hiei stared at it for a moment, knowing full well I was no push over, and that some weak fire wielder did not inflict a wound like this. He would know, after all, being a fire apparition as well, or at least half of one anyway. He scowled looking away, upset by the proof so blatantly in front of him.

Somehow they had outsmarted him and he didn't like that at all.

"This will not go unchecked." Hiei ground out. "I will need to see if there was a hole in the shift, or a weak number of checks." It appeared the fire demon didn't like paper work any more then anyone did.

"I think it wise to also consider another option."

Both of us looked to Kurama who had a calculating look on his face. I shifted, pulling my gauze and vest back into place. Hiei scowled.

"And that would be."

"A traitor of course. No easier way to get through the boundary then having an inside man let you through when it's their shift."

It had been something I was sure all of us had been thinking – it was the most obvious explanation when you thought about it. Still, it was a bit unsettling for me. It made my stomach twist and turn into knots; loyalty was one thing I found to be very important if I was to trust anyone. They can have their secrets and their bad background as long as I know they won't stab me in the back. Hiei's glower turned into something darker and more anger driven as his hands clenched tight.

"If that is the case then they will burn by my hand." His eyes shifted to me, and I nodded. Loyalty was one thing we had always had in common; it was why we could trust each other. His ruby eyes looked very me once more before he spoke again. "Be glad your master went down as a warrior. He will not be forgotten."

I was surprised that he was trying to comfort me. I must have looked really bad. Was my grief truly so easy to see, or did he just know me too well? Either way I nodded my head slightly in thanks.

"What do we do now?" I finally asked. Hiei snorted again, grumbling.

"For now you go back to your duties to the child. I am sure he will have work for you soon, concerning the rebels that are running amuck. I will do some digging and contact you when I have answers."

"Tread carefully Hiei."

The fire demon looked to his old friend with a look that could only be described as 'duh'. With one last glance at the both of us, Hiei turned away and flitted off in a blur of black.

I stared at the spot he had been for a while, my head spinning in incoherent thoughts that left Kuronue muddled and muted. This was all becoming a bit too complicated, though I had known it most likely would be. People who were involved with more then one world normally didn't have simple lives.

A gentle hand touched my uninjured shoulder and I looked to my side to see Kurama looking at me. He offered me a smile and I at least tried to give him one back. I had never been very good about keeping up appearances around him; it seemed silly, seeing as he would see through them anyway.

"We'll figure this out."

"I know." I sighed, "I just wish none of this had happened. I was looking forward to coming back, but I didn't mean to drag you into another problem with demons." I looked at him and pressed my lips together, chewing on one slightly. "You didn't want to deal with this kind of thing any more and now…"

"Izumi." His hand on my shoulder trailed up and ran through my blond locks. "If I had truly wanted none of this, I wouldn't have kept writing to you. I understood full well what being in a relationship with you would mean. You don't need to worry."

I shifted a bit at that. Relationship. It was such a daunting word.

"Where do we stand in that?" I ask finally my eyes trailing from the ground to look at him. "Last night was… well I won't say I didn't enjoy it Kurama but… we spent two years apart, with only letters to keep in contact. I wasn't sure…"

His hand reached the end of my hair – near my waistline – and then started over again at the crown of my head, as if we were speaking of something normal.

"Being apart hasn't changed anything Izumi. You wrote once that time seems displaced when you're in the mountains, that you forget what day it is because you don't feel you need to know." He smiled, moving so he was in front of me and moved his hand to brush the side of my face. "That is how it is when I'm with you. It is unsettling and different, but I never want to leave it. I just want to start up where we left off, if that is alright with you."

I smiled leaning my head into his hand, for a moment forgetting that we were in demon world, standing next to a giant bug.

"I was hoping you'd say that. I'd like nothing more."

"Good." His hand moved, lifting my chin and before I even had a chance to think about his action, he was kissing me again. I didn't mind it; hell I enjoyed it, my hands knotting in his hair in reply.

Sadly my partner was less then thrilled, and the waves of agitation and anger filtered over my mind, ruining the lovely sensation. I grimace and pulled back sighing as I raised a hand to my forehead. Kurama frowned slightly, understand my gesture quickly and nodded his head when I gave him a sad smile. He knew Kuronue was the cause of it, but he didn't know why. That was something I hoped I wouldn't have to explain, though I knew I should.

"_It's not his business._"

"_Well technically it kind of is, since most guys like knowing when their girl has...complicated relationships with other men. _"

"_Is that what you're calling it now?_"

I let out another sigh. Sometimes dealing with the bat demon was more of a headache then I could really put up with. Kurama watched me the entire time, reading my face as I spoke with his old friend. Slowly, a frown marred his face.

"If Kuronue has a problem with us, then he should take it up with me."

The replying snarl that echoed through my head was enough to make me wince. "No. I… let's just get back okay?" I rubbed at a throbbing temple as I spoke and Kurama frowned even more before slowly nodding his head. I was sure he'd bring it up later, but I was glad he let it drop for now.

"Alright. Come on."

The walk back was quiet, though the air seemed thicker with tension then it had before. If I wasn't still tired from everything that had happened I would have started a rather intense discussion with Kuronue, but I was sick of the same old song and dance. He could say how he felt about me as much as he wanted, but that wouldn't change how I felt.

It was weird watching Kurama walk through the boundary. As soon as he touched it, the entire thing rippled like water, and his form turned unstable as he stepped through, dissipating as if he had been a simple drop of ink in a pool.

When we got back, I was sure the temperature hadn't gotten much warmer, so I wrapped my arms around myself and walked next to the redhead, my shoulders hunched to the wind. Releasing my hold on Kuronue's powers did little to help, even if my shirt was long sleeved. After a moment, Kurama's arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me closer as I shivered.

As we walked back into the city, milling through the streams of people, I started to see things I hadn't seen the trip through this morning. I wasn't much of a morning person, and so my sleepiness some times made me very unobservant. Now I really looked. There were lights strung on the roofs above, sparkling even in the daylight. Larger sticker signs were plastered to store windows advertising sales and great ideas for gifts. My mind back peddled a bit, trying to remember what day it was, or even what month. When I finally grasped it, I felt rather stupid.

"Its almost Christmas isn't it?"

Kurama raised a red brow at me. "In a little over a month yes, its November twentieth."

"I hadn't really realized it…" When I saw the look of curiosity in his eyes I smiled slightly. "Kyo doesn't use clocks or calendars up there. He says knowing those type of things makes you feel like you need to keep a time limit on things. He says you should be done, when you feel you should be done. Putting a number on it does little."

Talking about him, the man who was like an older brother to me, and thinking about how I might never see him again, dampened my mood. My heart clenched tight in my chest as my hands fisted tight against me. I couldn't bring myself to talk about him in past tense, not yet.

"He is very wise." Kurama noted, and I realized he used the present tense on purpose, following my lead. "I would like to speak to him one day."

I could just imagine that: two old fighters sitting, sipping tea, and talking about the good old days. The thought made me want to roll on the ground laughing at the silliness of it all.

"Maybe. He'd interrogate you first, make sure you were good enough for me." when I had first told Kyousuke about Kurama he had laughed, then as the days went by, he began to act like that typical male family member in old cartoons. No one was good enough for me, after all.

"I think that could be quite the interesting discussion."

I rolled my eyes, bumping my shoulder on his and smiling.

Of course he did.

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><p>Izumi's Playlist: <em>Only Time<em> by Enya


	5. Chapter 5: Time Stream

So sorry about the mix up with the chapter before this guys - if you went to it when it came out some how it ended up being a copy of chapter 2 instead of 4 - but its all been fixed so if you haven't read it yet click the back button before reading this one ~

Thank you to: Loco Velcro and for your wonderful reviews! i look forward to more in the future!

PS. Still looking for a beta reader who would like to look over my short story fics~

enjoy! R&R

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><p><strong>Chapter five: Time Stream<strong>

The day after briefing Hiei about what had happened was one of the busiest days I had since leaving the city two years ago. In the morning I tried to keep myself busy by cleaning up the apartment and making it homey again. The problem was there wasn't much of a way to do that with most of my belongings being left at the ranch. All I had to work with was one box of clothes that I had left behind, and even then that wasn't much. I was already mostly through it.

Feeling defeated and knowing I couldn't just follow Kurama around all the time, seeing as he'd been working, I mulled over the idea of contacting an old friend. On Kuronue's suggestion, I contacted Keiko, and we promptly made plans to meet at the mall. I hadn't known the girl that well, but we had talked a bit after the tunnel instant. She'd wanted to know how a woman handled the jobs of Spirit World and I'd been glad to indulge her.

The next few hours were spent mall crawling, as we went in and out of shops, tried on outfits and talked about, well, girl stuff. About half way through it I had taken off Kuronue's pendant and stuffed it into my coat pocket, since the poor bat demon had been ready to tear his own hair out. I reminded him it had been his idea, of course he'd simply glowered at me and said that women seemed to talk about the most superficial things. That had been the point where the pendant and the chain had left any part of my skin, as I shoved it away with a huff.

"Is it weird?" Keiko asked. "Having a voice in the back of your head all the time?"

"Sometimes. But it's also kind of nice, comforting. It gives you the opportunity to hear someone else's opinion on things."

"I think that would back fire every once in a while though."

I winced, thinking about my many conversations with my partner about Kurama, and sighed. "You have, no idea."

We laughed, and the shopping continued until she had to leave to get back to her home to take her shift at the family restraint. I had declined her offer for a meal; Kurama was going to meet me in an hour for dinner.

So there I was, walking home with about four bags, the handles digging into my hands from the weight of them as I walked along the sidewalk, dodging the many people that passed by, ever watchful of pickpockets. Kuronue had been restored to my neck at this point, but he was silent, simply watching the world pass by as I did.

The sun was starting to set when I made it back to the complex, and I grimaced as I looked at the stairs that lay out in front of me. I really needed to talk to Koenma about upgrading the place. He did own it, and the least he could do was install an elevator.

"_You're getting lazy._"

I scowled as I continued my climb. "_I am not. I'm just tired._"

"_That seems to be your 'on call' excuse as of late._"

I sighed, but didn't reply. He had stated a fact, and I really didn't have much of an explanation for it. I was just tired; my sleep hadn't been very good since I had gotten back. Two days of nightmares and laying awake thinking, even when Kurama had been there, led to days where I felt half asleep. I should have been used to it by now. Nightmares where something that haunted me constantly, but these ones were new, something I wasn't expecting.

I shook my head, trying to clear myself of the dread that hung onto me like freshly walked through spider webs. Kurama would be knocking on the door in less then an hour, and I needed to try and look a bit more decent. Shifting the bags to one hand I used my newly acquired key to unlock my door and pushed it open.

"I just need a hot shower…" I grumbled to myself setting my bags down for a moment so I could unlace my combat boots – I might have loved them, but they weren't really date appropriate.

"Still talk to yourself in English I see…"

I jerked, Kuronue's hiss echoing in my ears as I stood straight and then tapped into his energy, bring my senses up to a more acute level. I recognized him by smell far before my eyes adjusted to the low light of my apartment. His scent was covered slightly, the metallic tang of iron marring the unearthly smell that came off of beings from Spirit World.

I darted forward, hitting the light switch on as I passed and entered my small living room. Saitō was lying on my couch, his long black hair unkempt and sprawling over the armrest. His SDF uniform was in shambles, torn, unbuttoned in places and splashed with blood. He looked awful. I was frozen for a moment, a foot away, unsure of how to go about this. His brown eyes met mine and he smirked slightly.

"Not a sight you thought you'd ever see, huh, Izumi?"

I'm not sure if it was his words, or the fact that I saw blood on his teeth that had me moving again, but panic flew out the window in moments, replaced with concentration.

"Saitō!" I placed my hands on the couch and leaned over him, looking for the wounds. I found a set of slashes on his chest, skin and fabric cluttered together in ribbons. I could see the dark shapes of bruise forming on other pieces of skin and I grimaced. Gently I looked at him and reached out, pushing hair from his face. "You are a mess." I saw him smile slightly at I scolding. "I'll get you cleaned up though."

I just had to figure out how to do about doing that.

"_Any ideas…?"_

"_Izumi…I'm a Shadow Demon. I inflict pain and control darkness."_

I huffed, turning and quickly walking to my bathroom_._

"_Yes, but you were always the Thieves guild doctor. You forget I've seen your life Kuronue. You knew ways – know ways, to help."_

"_Yes, with tonics and salves made from plants and minerals found in Demon World Izumi."_

"_I'm not asking for some cure. Just talk me through binding his wounds okay?"_

The bat demon gave an exasperated sigh before agreeing to do what he could. I could understand his frustration, knowing what he needed when there was no way to get it. From under the sink I pulled out my first aid kit. The little white and red box seemed in antiquity, with its content of gauze, Band-Aids, medical tape and sterile wipes. It would hardly do any good with what Saitō had; then again, most people went to the hospital if they had injuries like this.

It made me wonder how he had gotten here.

That thought combined with the hundreds of other swimming in my head since I'd laid eyes on him made me feel more tired then before. I couldn't integrate him now though, not when he was hurt. No matter how much I wanted to…

Grabbing a washcloth and running it under the tap at Kuronue's suggestion, I returned to the couch and sat down on the little table in front of it. I helped Saitō get his uniform top off, so that I could see the wound better. A lot of his torso was covered in the same kind of burns I had not my shoulder and collar bone, along with a large slash on his left arm. I started with the arm, drabbing at the wound carefully, cleaning off the dirt and making sure not to get it in the wound.

"I don't really know what I'm doing…" I admitted after a moment, trying to follow the instructions Kuronue told me. Saitō laughed slightly. Cringing when I started applying sterilizer.

"You never have been good at taking care of people, not even yourself." He teased me, but it still stung a bit, though I knew he was right. I was a horrible caretaker. "That is how we met after all. With you wondering around Spirit world trying to find the medical wing, all the while bleeding on the floor."

"I think the blood lose has made you drunk," I grumbled at him embarrassed. "It was hardly that bad. I was not 'bleeding all over the floor,' just a drop here and there." The more embarrassing part was that I had been about to walk into the men's quarters when he had been walking out. He had stopped me of course and recognized me. By then I had worked with the SDF about twice, both times he had been in the squad.

In the end Saitō had led me back to his quarter to take care of the injury to my arm and shoulder himself, rather then bother with walking all the way back across Spirit World to get a healer's help.

"Odd how our rolls have switched," he remarked. I smiled slightly, slowly placing gauze over the wound and tapping it in place.

"You did a lot better job." I grumbled as I scowled, a piece of gauze falling off. Kuronue snickered in my head before carefully explaining the right way to tap it. Once it was all padded, I moved to wrapping it up in bandages, which took a few tries because I kept making it too loose.

"I wasn't as distracted as you must be." Saitō pointed out and I looked at him as I tied off the wrap. "I can only imagine how many questions are swimming around in your head right now… seeing me here like this."

He had no idea.

Once again I bit back my questions and stared at the burns on his skin. I wasn't sure there was much I could do for that. Covering them up as is would only make it worse, and I didn't have that stuff Kurama had used.

"You can tell me once I feel better about your condition."

He nodded his head laying back on the armrest and closing his eyes as I pondered what I could do.

"_I have stuff for sun burns… would that help?"_

"_I would have to look at the ingredients."_

Nodding my head I stood up and made my way back to the bathroom. Putting the bloody rag in the sink for now I bent down and started looking for the aloe. I would probably need to contact Spirit World as soon as I could, sooner if I couldn't help with his burns. Part of me didn't want to until he told me what he knew.

Was Kyo alive? What had happened?

I was still looking for the bottle when I heard a knock on the door and jumped, hitting my head on the counter.

"Ouch! For the…" I trailed off in my grumbling, standing up and rubbing at the sore spot as I made my way over to the front door. When I opened it, I was hit with a dose of life again like a bucket of water. "Kurama? Why are you…shit."

The redhead blinked, looking at me confused as I rubbed my eyes, remembering the date I had been planning to get ready for over thirty minutes ago. He looked nice, wearing slacks and button up green shirt with a winter coat on top. He tilted his head looking at me before a startled look past over his face and he reached up, touching the sleeve of my shirt. Following his gaze I found a streak of blood on it from helping Saitō.

"Its not mine." I assured him smiling slightly. He raised an eyebrow and I waved him in. "I'm sorry, something… came up and I lost track of time and…" I let out a long breath. "I could use your help though…I'm not sure how thrilled you're going to be about it."

After all, Kurama and the SDF didn't see eye to eye, seeing as one of them had hunted him down and tried to kill him.

Kurama frowned a bit before nodding his head and following me into the main room where he stopped suddenly upon seeing Saitō, who still had his eyes closed for the time being. "Izumi, what in the – "

"Please don't." I cut him off biting my lip. "This is Saitō… the one I told you about in the letters… the one that helped me get out when the ranch was under attack."

Kurama frowned before apparently remembering me speak of him and sighed nodding his head. He might have not liked the SDF, but he could deal with them. "If you trust him…"

"I do. With my life." I answered without pause, and the redhead nodded his head again, taking off his coat and hanging it up on a hook where mine was.

"How long has he been like this?"

I watched him walk over and take the place of where I had been minutes ago. "I don't know, it's been over two days since the attack, but he wasn't hear when I left around noon."

Kurama nodded and I walked over to sit down next to him as he looked at my hack job bandaging Saitō's arm. A smirk curled on his lips but he left it alone. Narrowed my eyes I bumped my shoulder with his in protest and he laughed slightly.

"I see Kuronue's medical work didn't transfer to you very well."

"I've never had to do it before," I complained, flushing as Kurama reached into his hair and took out a few seeds. I often wondered how in the world he kept them in there…his hair never seemed tangled. He looked at them for a moment before picking one out and putting the rest back. Energy ignited around him for a moment and the seed glowed and then suddenly broke appear, growing into a long vine like plant and then sprouting large blue bell like flowers.

Once again I was reminded about his sudden drop in power and I frowned for a moment looking at my hands. Not my call, I told myself, but I could feel Kuronue's disapproval in the back of my mind.

Silently Kurama plucked a few of the flowers from the plant and hand them to me. I examined one, finding them rather soft and slightly heaver then I would have thought. From the corner of my eye I saw the plant stop growing and then it reverted back to the seed it bad been, where Kurama stored it away once more.

"Use a bowl and crush these with some water." He instructed me. I nodded my head, getting up, flowers in hand and walked into the kitchen across the way. I did as I was told, placing them in a small bowl with some water and used a spoon to start crushing it.

I felt a bit guilty really. I think Kurama had been looking forward to taking me out, and now he was stuck helping someone he wasn't very fond of. I winced slightly at the thought Kuronue brought to mind. Right now, my old friend with benefits, my current romantic partner and my best friend who had feelings for me were all in the same place.

I didn't want to know what would happen if Kurama knew about the other two.

I tilted me head concentrating on the bowl where the once blue flowers were now resembling a mush and heard the two boys in the other room speaking quietly. Saitō must have woken back up. Unable to help myself I drew on Kuronue's power slightly enhancing my hearing.

"It would seem I have trampled on plans tonight." Saitō said quietly.

"I doubt you had much choice."

"No, but I can see you aren't very happy about it. Our last meeting wasn't under the best of conditions."

I grimaced again thinking about the cave. Of Kurama in his demon form stocking over to the SDF who had me in their grasp. Of Saitō stepping in and offering me to the fox demon like some sort of treaty.

"It wasn't." Kurama agreed, and I heard a bit of shuffling.

"You have nothing to be suspicious about, fox demon. Izumi is a close friend and has been for years. I wouldn't do anything to hurt her, including doing anything to you."

"I would prefer you not call me that. As for yourself, you haven't proven anything to me. No motive is ever completely innocent."

"No, they aren't, but sealing your powers like you have? It doesn't help anyone you know – what? You thought I wouldn't feel the difference? I don't know your motives for doing it, and Izumi won't say anything because she cares too much for you. I would think about it carefully if I were you though, what your choice could mean for her."

"What is your point?"

"She is not some naïve child Kurama. You'll have to let her in completely at some point – if you want to know her more then you already do."

"You sound as if you know more then a normal friend should know."

I heard Saitō chuckled slightly and I flushed looking as the gunk in the bowl more carefully, registering that it was the same stuff Kurama had used on my own burn before. Kuronue snorted.

"_I think he's less injured then we thought." _

I scowled slightly wondering what I had gotten my self into before stirring the stuff once more and heading back out into the living room. Kurama and Saitō both looked normal, of course, but I could tell from the tense muscles in the redhead's jaw that he was annoyed.

Silently I walked over and sat down handing the bowl to Kurama who took it nodding slightly. As he applied it to Saitō's burn I took in a deep breath, figuring if he had enough energy to scowl Kurama, he could tell me what needed to be done.

"Can you tell me what happened after I left?"

Kurama paused at my words, but after a moment kept going. Saitō frowned, sighing but nodded his head.

"You should know I suppose, before I give my report to Spirit World and they strip it down before telling you." We all knew that Spirit World only liked to tell us what we had to know to do our jobs. "After you left…" I watched as he closed his eyes and thought. "I ran back to help Kyousuke, we fought off most of the demons but that damned fire elemental was causing all kinds of problems. He'd set the place on fire and was using everything in his power to wear us down." He shifted, wincing when Kurama started binding his wound. "I ended up taking a blow for him when another demon appeared and took a swipe at him." He gestured to his chest where I'd wrapped the slices. "We were running out of time Izumi and I was injured… so was he."

"…How did you get here?" I said quietly looking at him as he pushed himself into a sitting position after Kurama was finished. He frowned reaching out a hand to touch mine but stopped half way, placing it back where it had been.

"I wasn't sure at first, but Then I was suddenly here and only moments before I had been fighting? I think he used his time teleportation magic on me. I heard you say it had been two days to Kurama, but, well, I was fighting just hours ago."

I hunched my shoulders slightly, cursing. No wonder Koenma hadn't been able to find anything; at that point Saitō had been in the time stream. I found myself cursing Kyousuke for his noble act. Now there was no way of knowing what had happened to my master.

"I'm sorry, Izumi."

"It's not your fault." I said after a moment, taking in a deep breath. "It was his own choice. We can only hope he got away or…" I swallowed and Kurama put a hand on my shoulder. "We can only hope." I repeated after a moment sighing. Saitō looked at me sadly, but said nothing more. There weren't any words he could say that I hadn't already heard in the last few days. "I'm going to call Koenma, get someone here to take you home." I said after a moment.

"Alright. I should get out of your hair, you have plans you should keep."

I looked from him to Kurama and the redhead tilted his head nodding that he still wanted to. It took a bit of effort, but I smiled knowing it would do us both some good.

"Alright. I'll be back then."

I patted the SDF's shoulder and then stood up, my hand brushing Kurama's before I walked towards my bedroom. Kuronue sighed in the back of my head but said nothing. I was heart broken and tormented by the thought of my master being dead somewhere, but I held on to the hope that he was all right. I shook my head, no I wasn't going to keep dwelling on it, not when life kept moving forward. Not when I had the chance to do something other then worry. I needed to do something for myself tonight, and hell if that was going to change.

Reaching my nightstand I picked up my communicator and turned it on.

Izumi's Playlist: _Living Through the Ghost_ by Shinedown (from Saitō)


	6. Chapter 6: Informed

Thank you Counting Sinful Stars and Skyla15699for your reviews!

As always there is some special, exclusive information about this story and my others that I only blog on my TUMBLR account: FeatherFang. You can find the link to it on my profile page - so go 'follow' me and learn all the extras. I also answer questions there as well!

**Also:** CAUTION so those who are easily squirmy, while there's no real gore in this chapter there are some dark themes that show up here. though, I would still try to read it seeing as it is very important to the story.

Enjoy! F&R

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><p><strong>Chapter Six: Informed<strong>

_Chaos Blend_ was teaming with customers. Smoke drifted through the air like a fog bank, causing eyes to sting and noses to twitch. The lights were low, amber in color, and energy pulsed through the air like music would have in a club.

Demonic energy.

I slouched, curling my back forward, black wings hanging limply across my back as I took a sip of whiskey and tonic, mixed with just a bit of some demonic drink simply known as Shoots. The drink burned, even more so then the smoke in the air, but it was a type of burn I had grown to like over the years. Slowly, as to play the part of a common city girl – I lifted a clawed hand and waved at the waiter – a large man with cat ears and a tail, half of one ear gone – and signaled for another drink.

I had learned long ago that demonic bars in some of the bigger cities of Demon World were some of the best places to pick up hints and clues when it came to my job. Using Kuronue's powers to that of 90% not only gave me the complete look of a demon, but pretty much left no sign of my spirit energy or human smell.

My drink skidded across the bar top – reminding me of an old western movie – and I reached a hand out, stopping it and taking another gulp. It was the day after Saitō had shown up at my apartment, and after calling it in, Koenma – or rather the new captain of the SDF who had picked Saitō up – had told me it was time to get back to work. He'd given me all the time he could to ease back into life and mourn the lose of my teacher, but rebel hideouts didn't find themselves.

Demons, and even more so the ones who thought they had it made, tended to flap their mouths a bit when it was loosened by liquor. So now all I had to do was sit around, keep my ears open and wait for someone to boast about something they should be keeping quiet.

I traced the rim of my new drink, figuring I should bide my time. Demons didn't loose it as fast as humans, but I didn't want it effecting my work. Still, I had to remain one of the crowd, and drinking was the best way to fit in at a bar.

_"Demons can never just be happy with the way things are, can they?"_ I thought irritated. It had hardly been three months since the new king had come into power and rules had been set, yet demons were grouping up and planning a revolt.

_"As if humans are ever any different."_

I sighed, knowing he was right. In the end, demons and humans were hardly that different.

"Yeah, the leader's planning something big."

I perked slightly, hearing the words to my right and slid my eyes over to look. It was a pale demon that had spoken; his skin paper-like and his teeth sharp and uncovered from the lack of lips. His hair was green, pulled back messily by a leather wrap as he leaned on a table talking with a few other demons.

"We're getting really close to having enough followers to start something." The demon raised his glass. "Soon enough we'll be dining on human again, I tell you."

"_Ah… and we have a winner," _Kuronue muttered and I grimaced.

"_Oh goodie…"_ I sighed. I was tired enough as it was. Last night had been stressful even without Saitō's sudden appearance. The evening had been all about meeting the family of my boyfriend – something I was sure no one ever enjoyed doing, no matter who they were. It had been… an interesting night at the restaurant, filled with me easily spouting the same lies I had used with everyone two years ago. Only this time I wasn't an exchange student, I had simply finished school and had missed it over here. I was working for a… law firm and my parents were still over in America. I knew my lines well, too well, and Kurama – or Shuichi – had played along easily. By the end of it they seemed alright with me, though I was pretty sure Shiori was just ecstatic that her son had taken an interest in someone – I probably could have been bald, blind and ditsy and still have been on her good side.

"_Well, then, let's get to it."_

I took in a deep breath before reaching up and undoing the front part of my hair, slipping the clip into my boot and running my fingers through my hair. For a moment I was quiet, thinking things over before I nodded my head – no time to think too much about it; I had done this before, I knew what I was doing. Grabbing my glass, I gulped back the last of the drink, letting the burn distract me as I threw down some coin for my drinks and headed out.

As I headed towards the door I took the long way, passing right in front of the demon I was targeting. As I passed I let my hair cast over my eyes and made eye contact with the demon. He blinked, flinching in surprise before simply staring. That was all it took and I was off, shifting my gaze and leaving the bar at an even pace.

The lure had been cast, now I just had to wait for him to take the bait.

Leaving the alleyway that the entrance was located in, I crossed my arms in front of me. As I waked slowly down the street, avoiding any other demons, it didn't take me long to pick up the sound of footsteps behind me. I didn't even have to look to know the lipless demon was following.

Why were men so… predictable?

I continued walking, never stopping or changing my pace as I left the main part of the city that had once been Yomi's base of operations. Some day, it might still be that, but with the former demon lord off somewhere with his test tube son, only the fates knew when that might happen.

As I climbed the hill of sandy grassland outside the city I watch the lightening dance in the purple black sky, tracing the sharp lines. Once I had reached the top, I stopped, letting my arms fall to my side. The demon's footsteps got louder and he grunted slightly, taking the final steps to make it up the steep slope. He grumbled under his breath, stopping to my left and eyeing me. I simply tilted my head and smiled.

"So what, you want a way into the resistance?" He grumbled and I was a tad surprised. This demon was sharper then I had thought for some one who had the form of a lower class. Some how, even without lips, I knew he was smirking at my reaction. "You're good, I'll give you that, singling one person out so easily, but that look in your eyes, I'm rather sure you're not interested in spending the night with me." He looked me up and down, sighing. "Which is too bad really… bat demons are so reclusive." Shaking his head, his large black eyes came back to my face. "That aside, this has to be a business call out."

"Smarter then you look," I muttered, which he snorted at. I hadn't intended to go this route, but I easily could. "Then yes, I am wondering about how to get in. the stupid 'replacement' supplements they give us now are like eating glue. I want my old life back."

I had to do quite a bit of homework before doing this mission. Spending the last two years in isolation had left me a bit behind in things that had been happening. Since the One King had been named and the barrier had been taken down, consuming humans was outlawed. The market on them had completely collapsed, and the ban on owning and eating them was one of the reasons demons were so unhappy. A large portion of demons lived off of humans, including all three of the former kings. So, to make sure demons didn't starve to death, a supplement was created that gave demons the same …nourishment that they needed from humans that could easily be put into any food or liquid.

Safe to say I had skipped over just what it was that that could only be found in humans – that was just a bit too creepy for my taste.

The demon nodded his head. "I hear you there. Fuckers will have us bowing to our food if this keeps up." Food. I scowled to myself; I hated how demons thought of humans as nothing more then sustenance most of the time.

It was sick. At least we thought of animals as living creatures.

"Probably," I said coolly, shaking my head slightly to move hair from my eyes. I missed my clip already. "So, what's your name? I'm Izzy." Using my name completely would be a mistake. Even if people didn't know the Soul Detective by name, it was best to use aliases in Demon World.

"Kuro." He nodded once. "I would have to talk to the boss, and he's often gone."

"What's his name? Maybe I could track him down. I have connections all over demon world." Those "connections" being the son of Rizen (if we ever figured out where he went), Yomi's ex-general, and Mukuro's heir… plus Spirit World forces, give or take a few ogres.

Kuro raised an eyebrow before shaking his head. "Sorry, but I have orders not to give out anything important till you're an official member. Hell you have to be pretty high up to even talk to him."

I tilted my head, smirking. "And you are?"

Kuro puffed his chest, his grinning rows of teeth reminding me of a cartoon shark. "Was ranked up last week after a mission went well. "

I surveyed him for a moment, briefly feeling a bit bad to be the one who would be bursting his bubble. Thankfully, it only lasted a moment.

I walked a few steps closer to the demon smiling easily. "Good." I muttered and Kuro looked a bit confused. He only got a moment though, for a band on my arm lite up with runes at a mental command and sprung to life. Kuro breathed out, startled and moving to get away, but it was too late as the long piece of cloth leapt from my arm to him, wrapping around him in almost a hug, pinning his arms to his sides.

I crouched quickly, throwing my leg out and kicking his out from under him in moments. Kuro snarled as another armband attached to his legs as he fell, and I watched, slightly amused, as he went rolling down the other side of the hill, snarling and cursing as he went.

"_Kind of wish I had a camera…"_

"…_You're becoming more twisted everyday…"_

I snickered, walking down the hill and coming to a stop where Kuro lay face down on the ground. I paused, waiting a moment to see if he had some hidden power, but my binds had stopped him in his tracks it would seem. Slowly, I lifted a combat booted foot and rolled him over.

I was met with a searing black gaze of hate. I didn't flinch; I just tilted my head, smirking. "Why don't we try this again?" I asked, and he growled.

"Who are you? What the hell do you want?"

I crouched next to him, my fore arms resting on my knee. "I'm the girl you underestimated, and why I'm here hasn't changed… I still want info on your boss… and everything else."

Kuro snarled again, his jaw opening wide and he jerked his head. Suddenly, he was showing all of his teeth, all four rows of them, as his jaw seemed to unhinge and he took a snap at my nearby leg. I flinched, jerking away, his front teeth scrapping the skin as it got out of range. Narrowing my eyes, I quelled the anger that burned through me. Instead my hand fisted, and in one swift moment I smashed it into his face sending it to the other side with a crack. Kuro groaned, spitting up blood.

"Don't make this any worse for yourself. Trust me, I will get the information from you. " I relaxed my hand, energy shivering around it like see-through oil. Kuro stared at it for a moment, grimacing.

"You're a shadow user then…" He took in a deep breath. "Too bad for you though, I'm not weak. Your little illusion tricks won't do anything to me. My leader could wipe the ground with you…"

I raised my eyebrow surprised, and Kuronue chuckled in the back of my mind. "Where on earth did you get the idea that shadow demons used illusion..?" I muttered, making him tense. "I mean, yeah, I can see though them if I know to look for them, but…" I smirked, leaning forward slightly. "I assure you, everything that I do, is real, and normally… its permit."

"You're lying, you bitch," he snapped, his eyes livid, his muscles straining at my charmed fabric. I sighed, reaching out a hand.

"Shall I show you then?" I asked, though I didn't wait for an answer. Tapping into more of Kuronue's power, I took his silent suggestion, using what I knew about demon biology. "For instance, I happen to know that…" I moved my hand, my fingers slipping behind his ear and very gently tracing the edge. Kuro tensed and then shivered. "I know that a demon like you would have a lot of nerve endings back here. Makes certain activities quiet fun, so I've been told. But, you see, with my powers I can change that." Again energy swam down my hand, glowing ever so slightly as I whispered, "****Tenebrae ****tangimus**(1).**" With that I lifted my hand drawing it back to where it had started. "Now, this time, when I move my hand," I said easily, "You'll regret not just telling me."

I moved my hand, just as before, light and swift, but instead of a shiver and a gasp, Kuro screamed. I clenched my muscles to keep from flinching away and covering my ears as the demon howled in agony that I had been told was like being skinned alive. I swallowed, pushing back the feeling of remorse that came with using such a power. This was necessary to do my job.

After a couple of minutes Kuro's screams stopped and he panted, his face drenched in sweat. "What… did you…do?" He gasped, his fingers digging into the dirt. I frowned, bouncing on the balls of my feet as I stayed crouched.

"My shadows rewrote your brain's response to being touched there. Instead of pleasure, you feel agony." My explanation was calm, and he stared at me with terrified eyes, quite different from what they had been minutes ago. "If you don't answer my questions… I'll leave you like this." I warned.

I saw the demon swallow, his eyes flying around the area. Sadly for him, we were the only ones around. A person screaming wasn't out of the norm here in Demon World

"Okay… alright, I'll tell you what you want."

I smiled. "Good. Now then, let's start with something easy; who leads the rebels?" I waited a moment, and when he paused I lifted a hand and he flinched.

"J-Jiro." He sputtered, and I put my hand back down. "His name is Jiro, he's an A class illusion demon."

That explained his remark from earlier. "Alright. Now, why don't you tell me, what's been going on, hm?" As I spoke, demonic energy pricked at my mind and I shifted my gaze to the far off tree edge. Recognizing it, I went back to business.

"I'm not sure…" He muttered, and tensed again when I narrowed my eyes. "He hasn't told us everything!" He pleaded.

"Then tell me what you do know."

"He's planning something against Spirit World. Last week a few of us helped some of his personal guard sneak through the barrier."

I tensed, eyes narrowing again as I thought about his words, thought about how many days it had been since the attack at the ranch. About a week? No… surely there was no way this was connected to me.

"Why?" I snapped. Kuro clenched his teeth, eyeing me before slowly he spoke again. "He said he was sending them to take down some of Koenma's top agents, but, it fell through, only one came back and apparently a girl escaped."

Shocked, I had to stand, taking a step back as I lost my balance, the images from that day coming back in flashes. What had that demon said? That he had found me?

"_This is…"_

"_Izumi, calm down. We'll figure this out."_

"_But how… how did they…"_

"_We'll figure it out. Later."_

I took a deep breath, looking back at Kuro before taking a step forward to my original spot. He was eyeing me with wary curiosity, waiting for me to snap and kill him most likely.

"Alright then…" I muttered, "How did you get through?"

Kuro looked around, as if he could find a way out that wasn't there before. When he found none, he spoke. "Jiro has a spy inside the Patrol Force… I don't remember his name…"

I eyed him, searching his face and finding no lie there. After a moment I sighed and looked back at the trees. I twitched, the energy no longer there, but suddenly right next to me. I stepped to the side slightly as Hiei walked closer, and Kuro seemed to loose all hope.

"What are you doing here?" I grumbled at the fire demon. Hiei didn't look at me as his third eye opened up, glowing its eerie blue.

"Coming back from a meeting with the king." He muttered. "Heard the scream." He sounded pleased, and if I hadn't known him as well as I did, I might have been worried for my own safety. I sighed, rubbing my neck.

"So, think you can dig through his head to find your mole?" I asked, amused as Kuro struggled with new determination. Hiei said nothing and simply stepped closer before his red eyes closed. After a moment Kuro stilled, his eyes going blank as Hiei burrowed into his memories.

I used my small reprieve to try and gather my thoughts as I reached down into my boot and retrieved my hairclip. Pulling the annoying strands of hair that always got in my face back over my scalp, I clipped them back in place.

How was this all connected to me? No, not just to me, but probably my master as well. Why would the rebels think it was important to go after us? I needed to know. I needed more answers, and that meant only one thing.

I would have to go back to the ranch and look for clues from the battle remains.

The sound of Kuro gasping drew me back, and I looked at Hiei as his Jagan closed and he nodded. "I know who helped them. He wasn't a loser in the tournament, but signed up for patrol all the same. Nh, should have realized something about that was odd." He crossed his arms, turning to face me. "I also have the location of their base, though it would seem they move frequently. Right now, they're in a cave system south of Rizen's old domain."

"Alright, I'll inform Koenma. Thanks."

"Nh."

Kuro gasped again, cursing slightly as he panted and I looked over to him only to find his gaze hollow. "I had heard Spirit World had a cruelty to it. Never occurred to me that they'd send demons after their own."

Hiei simply sniffed and I frowned, thinking about his words and realizing I had thought much the same of demons in my first years of being Soul Detective. Slowly, I took up my crouched spot next to him again and he just stared at me.

"The world is cruel," I muttered reaching forward my hand glowing. "The only thing that sets people apart is whether they are devoured by it, revel in it, or except it." I touched the demon's forehead and my energy flickered over his skull, reversing my alteration. "That is the simplest truth of this world."

Kuro looked at me, his eyes unsteady as I stood and called back my armbands. They glowed again, and then unwound, jumping from the grounded demon back to my arms.

I looked to Hiei and nodded my head at Kuro. "The effects of my binding shadows won't completely wear off for a bit, so I'll leave his fate to you."

Hiei grunted, and I took that as an end to our conversation and turned to leave. "Woman." He grumbled and I paused at his voice. "Don't be stupid."

I snorted, waving him off before simply taking off, running to the top of the hill and pushing up. Jumping and unfurrowing my wings, I glided away from the scene.

When next I landed, I would be at the ranch.

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><p>Izumi's Play list: <em>Short Change Hero<em> by The Heavy

(1)Latin for: Dark Touch


	7. Chapter 7: Ashes and Snow

Thank you Counting Sinful Stars for your review, and a special thanks to Prongsie18 for your long, meaningful review, I truly enjoyed reading it. Your Reviews keep this story alive some times, so who ever has the chance please do so!

Recommendation: This chapter at one point, did exist in the original outline, but one day i was listening to Music and a song inspired this entire thing. Its the song for Izumi's play list at the bottom, and i would go down and get the name and listen to the song before reading this, it really kepts set the mood - though I hope i did so with my writing as well.

Enjoy and please Review!

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven: Ashes and Snow<strong>

When I got there, it was snowing up on the mountains where the ranch was. Barely a dusting had fallen, but the white flaked still coated my hair and clothes, their icy touch making me shudder and pull my wings in once I had landed. I had allows loved the snow; loved the quiet world it made around me, loved the way it made barren trees look pretty again – all decorated with white powder and hanging icicles.

That feeling didn't come this time though. As my feet touched the ground in hesitant steps, a sinking feeling formed between my ribs and growing larger with each breath.

I had landed a few yards out, in a small break in the tress to the east of the main building just incase there was danger left behind. I was doubtful of that, seeing as the SDF had been here only days ago and had searched the place with a fine toothed comb for any demons in the area.

Part of me hated myself for only now coming back here, and not as soon as it had been permitted, but things had just kept coming up… No, that was just an excuse; I corrected myself as I ducked under a pine branch, being careful to not knock the collecting snow off onto myself. I hadn't wanted to come back here, not because I didn't want to know why things had happened the way they had, but because the last time I had been here, I had abandoned it. Abandoned my home. This place had been one of the only places I had felt safe, felt as if I could be myself, and yet, I had fled.

"_You can't blame yourself for doing as you were told, for running when you had no chance."_ Kuronue reasoned with me. I merely frowned, wiping away snow that drifted onto my face.

"_Did I really not have a chance Kuronue? I had barely tried, too confused and stupid to think on my own."_

"_Is it so wrong to follow the orders of someone who cared about you? Who only wanted to make sure you would be safe?"_

"…_When Kurama yelled for you to come back, why didn't you?"_ I asked, thinking back, way back to the bat demon's own demise. Kuronue was flustered by the sudden jab, and came up with no words.

Even if he had, I doubt he would have said anything as I broke through the last of the trees, entering the side courtyard of the ranch grounds.

I had known the tall, amazing building for years – with its stone foundation and high, dark wood accents that cover the roof, porch, and windows. I had known the stone chimney that had always coughed out blooms of smoke from the giant fireplace down below. I had known these things because they had been my home, but now as I stared upon it, I knew, it wasn't my home anymore.

A hole had been ripped from its side; rock and insolation lay in an inclined slope like that of blood from a body. The hole itself was singed, as was the rock around it, and the wood above it that had once held a large window was now scorched black, only tiny teeth shards remanding. The chimney was gone; its remains scattered across the roof and ground below.

As I walked forward, swallowing around an egg-sized lump in my throat, I surveyed the leftovers of a vicious fight, heading towards the back where most of it had taken place when I had been there. I avoided the shambles of a once fenced area that held a blackened pile that had been a chicken coop and a barely standing water trough where sheep had gathered. All that remand of it now was scattered feathers and blood that painted the splotched earth.

I didn't want to think about all the animals that had lived here and either died or run off, more then likely miles and miles away now.

I passed the dojo – that looked mostly whole if you ignored the rubble that cluttered the area and the bolder that blocked the door – heading to the back side of it where a clearing was and spotted the blackened wall that had faced the battle.

The site was unholy and smelled almost as bad as Demon World. The grassy area was dead, black and curing in on them selves, patches of a dark rust brown marking where blood had been spilled. The signs of a struggle were everywhere, from the broken limbs of the trees that hung over it, to the upturned earth that was riddled with slices and impact zones.

These were all critical sign, a story that could possible tell me the ending.

I knew I had to work fast though, for as I stood there looking, snow continued to fall in a lazy manner, covering up not only the sight of it, but the smell as well. Perhaps the sky was trying to cleanse this defiled ground, but it wasn't good enough, not nearly.

I walked on, stepping into the site and looking around, quickly using the spell that empowered my sight to see energy of all kinds, even that of hidden illusions. I found stray sprinkles of left over energy, demonic and spiritual, dusting the area in a wild array of colors like a kid's decoration on a cake. They were old and faded though, simple traces, footprints of what had happened here. They didn't tell me anything new.

Sighing, I blinked, letting the power fade as I looked upon the earth again with normal eyes. I spotted piece of cloth and some stay fur that the wind had not managed to carry off yet. I knelt, brushing the ground with my hand searching for any clues unseen my eyes. I found nothing though, not a single fragment or clue that would help tell me why this had happened, why the rebel faction in Demon World had gone after us.

Or of Kyousuke's status.

Frustrated, I stood, cursing, and turned around in a circle slowly. The demons who had died had already been disposed of; the SDF couldn't leave any evidence of them for a normal human to stumble upon. They had found no sign of my master though. The last person that had seen him was Saitō, and he had not been very positive about Kyousuke's survival.

But how could I give up when there was no sign of his death?

"_Maybe if you had an extra set of eyes other then your own?"_ Kuronue offered, and I, merely nodded my head, suddenly very tired again. The red glow of the pendant around my neck was warm against the cold air and I let my hold on Kuronue's power fade to that of 10 percent, giving me back my jeans and long sleeved shirt. The bat demon appeared beside me, translucent, his feet barely touching the ground. He gave me a fleeting glance, one that I tried to take comfort in as he turned and looked around as I had, walking the edge of the ruined area.

I went the other way, staring down at the ground only half seeing what was there as my mind spiraled in a slowly more painful thought patterns. I wasn't sure what I was looking for anymore, what had I thought I would find when the SDF found nothing. I was trained in tracking and yet, those skills failed me now.

"Izumi."

Slowly, I looked up, pausing in my musings as I saw Kuronue across the way, kneeling near a patch of dead grass. He was waving at me, beckoning me to come over, and my heart leapt into my mouth in hope. My feet moved quickly, crossing the small distance with new energy as I stopped next to my partner, kneeling as well to see what he did.

At first, I wished I could smack him upside the head, for all I saw was grass dyed a muddy red from blood, how dare he get my hopes up? Then though, as I looked closer, following his ghostly hand, grass poking through it along the way as he pointed at something deep within the knots of plant life. It was small, and almost unseen, but with sharp eyes and the light of the sinking sun, it sparkled ever so slightly.

I bit my lip and reached in, fingers gliding through my partner's form and grasping the small trinket in my forefinger and thumb. Pulling back, I dropped it into the palm of my other hand and stood looking at it. It as cold and filthy, yet something about the round little object tugged at my memory and I quickly spit into my hand, wetting the little ball and rubbing it onto my shirt, cleaning off the blood and dirt.

When it was clean I recognized it in moments, and felt the sting in my chest at the same moment. It was a sandy tan, and there was a tiny clasp on one side that opened it up into perfect halves with a small hole all the way through it. What I held in my had was a bead, and not just any bead, but one made from antler, and made to be clasped into your hair.

It was one of the three beads Kyousuke had kept in the front part of his hair, which he made as a nod to his heritage as a Sami from Russia. They were something I had never seen him with out, something that reminded him of his life before; like my violin for me. He would have never have left it behind if he had the choice.

That didn't bode well for him at all.

"Izumi…" Kuronue muttered, but I didn't look up, not for a long moment as I stared at the little thing. "This hardly means anything…"

Yet, he knew as well as I did, that I couldn't go off looking for my master on mere hope. I had been hoping for something that would mean he was alive, and this was not it. Shaking my head slightly, I shoved the bead into my pocket.

"I can hope for the best," I muttered, trying to ignore the pain that laced through me, hotter then any wound ever could be. "I should get what I can from here before I do what he would have wanted me to."

Move on, keep going forward. Those unspoken words had been his mantra for as long as I had known him.

I walked with hurried steps back to the main house, and stepped through the whole in the side that dropped me right into the hallway that connected the main room and the bedrooms.

Kuronue followed, not because he wanted to, but because he could only be about a yard away from me before he would get pulled back into the pendent. I got to the door that led to my room first. Originally one of four guest rooms, it had become mine when it became clear I'd be spending a lot of time there.

Confused about why the door was shut – since I never kept it shut except when I slept – I grabbed the handle, pushing it open and meeting resistance. Scowling, I shoved, and the door gave way, the sound of something heavy scuffing against the ground as the door moved it back. With one final push I reached in, finding the light switch on the right side. I found my bookshelf in the way, face down and broken against the door.

Squeezing through the opening, I stepped carefully over the bookcase and stood in the center of my room. While there were no holes or burn marks in the room, it was a disaster. The paintings and trinkets I had placed on the walls and shelves were on the ground, and the bookcase, along with my bed, and desk were misplaced. Not to mention all of the books, papers and other stuff were now on the ground, as if a strong wind had thrown them about.

Frowning I turned in a small circle, absently seeing Kuronue ghost though the wall to join me and look around as well.

"What happened in here?" I muttered, crouching down and picking up one of the books. It was a book on myths, something I liked smiling at and marking what was true and what was not.

"Hmm." Kuronue eyed the area from under his ripped witch's hat and nodding slightly. "I bet if we went outside and looked on the outer wall we would see a dent. This looks like an earth quake, but I'm guessing a large demon was thrown against the building."

"Large demon?" I questioned. "But none of them were bigger then you. They were all humanoid."

He shrugged his shoulders. "That's what we saw, yeah, but one of them could have easily had a different form. It's also possible that when we arrived Kyousuke had already taken some demons out. "

I sighed, my shoulders dropping at I closed the book and set it on my desk. Things just got better and better it would seem.

"Shit." I muttered.

"There's nothing we can do Izumi, not now. Just get some of your stuff, and let's get this over with."

I shook my head slightly before silently walking over to the bookcase and using the demonic strength I had, pulling it back upright. Books fell to the floor as it was righted and I winced as one hit my shoulder, more out of being startled then it hurting.

Underneath it was the one thing I was most looking for and I winced again at the condition of it. My violin hadn't been in its case, but rather on a stand – a stand that was now broken. Picking up my old instrument, I saw that there were several cracks on the neck, and a careful test showed that it was a miracle it was not snapped in half. The wood finish was scuffed and scrapped, and a few of the thinner wires had snapped.

All in all though, it was still useable if I got it to a repair shop.

Relieved at least a little, I walked over to the case where it laid half buried in papers and books and put the violin back into it. After my most important item was safe, I sat it on my bed and started gathering other stuff. I pulled out the small suitcase from the closet and pulled clothes out, packing them, along with some books, and few small gifts I'd gotten from Kyo; a hand carved dragon bust made out of wood the size of my hand and a simple necklace with a lime green stone – peridot – in a simple circle with a band of sardonyx around it.

I held the necklace for another long moment, smiling at it softly. I'd gotten it only this year; Kyousuke was one of the few who had known my birthday, and he'd given me the necklace because he believed everyone needed their birthstone. He himself had always worn a ring banded with opal in it.

Tucking it away in a small pouch, I finished up, zipping the case shut and then rolling up the small throw rug that was a snow leopard pelt. He'd found the animal already dead during one of his trips back home, and had decided to put the fur to use.

Finally, I found the keys to my apartment; glad I wouldn't have to leave the place unlocked, or break in again just to get inside, and pocked them. Grabbing my things, I walked from the room, turning off the light and setting them in the hallway. I glanced at Kuronue for a moment as he followed me out, and then turned, walking further down the hall to Kyousuke's room.

If Kyo was truly gone, and even if he wasn't, there was something I had to do. Something that he had told me, he would do himself if the time came that an enemy ever discovered the ranch. There had been a spell of sorts around the land here, one that shielded it from normal human eyes. Over the decades that he had lived, my master had found this place to be in tune with the energy of those who were Soul Bound. Something in the air, in the earth, made it easier for the partnership to form; it was why I had spent my first year as Soul Detective here, rather then elsewhere.

Now though, with all the death and evil that had been set upon this place, the tingly, safe feeling I'd always gotten here, was gone. With that, the spell was gone, and soon, human eyes would wonder why a large staircase had formed at the foot of the mountain. When they did, and when they ventured up it, they couldn't find what they would now.

It would have to be erased, destroyed to the point of where it looked as if it had been left untouched for decades. I wasn't a time master though; I couldn't will the structure to decay and collapse on its own, so I would have to do what Kyo had told me once. It occurred to me now, that he might have thought something like this would happen, and it would be up to me to take care of the pieces left behind.

His room was wondrous, with an entire back wall of glass – some of which was now broken and cracked. His bed was huge, covered in furs and pillows, and there was a walk in closet towards the back of the room. The closet was my destination, but I stopped half way, distracted by a desk near a small fireplace on the north wall. Walking over to it, I saw a few books and some pens scattered about, as well as a framed picture. Biting my lip, I picked it up, finding a picture of him and myself. I was younger there, in my second year of this life, so my hair was a bit shorter and my face less angled, a girl of 18. I was sitting on the fence I had passed earlier, though in the picture it was whole and one of the sheep was nibbling at my jeans causing me to laugh. Kyo was next to me, leaning on the fence, his newly gifted cowboy hat perched on his head. His smile was a bit clumsy, as he had run over to get to his spot before the timer on the camera had gone off.

Thinking back on it now, he could have easily used his time magic, but he hadn't. He must have wanted it to be like we were normal people, something he tried to do for me as much as he could. Give me a small piece of the life I had before coming to Japan.

My thoughts drifting back to my present destination, I moved to bring the photo with me, but stopped suddenly, when the floorboard under my left foot wiggled under my shifting weight.

I blinked, staring down at my foot and tested the floor carefully. Sure enough I saw a small line appear in the board, a cut line about a foot inward from the natural end of the wood.

"Izumi?"

I glanced at my ghostly partner who had been watching from the room's entrance, almost leaning on the doorframe. I shrugged my shoulders, stepping to the side and kneeling down next to the board in question. Silently, Kuronue glided over, stopping in front of me as I carefully tapped the cut section.

I couldn't recall ever seeing this before, but then again, I hadn't been looking for hidden compartments the few times I had wandered in here. Setting the photo down, I used both hands and wiggled the wood carefully. It let go easily, the motion something that must have been common judging from the worn sides I saw once it was out.

Setting it aside, I peered into the shallow compartment and found what looked like a leather bound book. I fished it out, turning it over in my hands. The outside was smooth brown leather that looked aged, and as I opened it I found handwriting inside.

It wasn't a book at all, but a journal. Kyousuke's journal.

"Do you think, maybe we could find answers in it?" Kuronue asked me.

I pondered that, fighting with the guilt of reading through my master's personal thoughts. Such a thing was a violation of trust, but what if it could help? What if I could learn something from his later words, the ones closer to the last few days? Even more so, what if I could learn about things he had always been reluctant to tell me? If he was truly gone – I winced at the thought – then this journal was the last bit of him I had.

Deciding to at least take it with me for now, I stood up with it and the picture in hand, not bothering to replace the wood, for it wouldn't matter soon enough. Shifting both to one hand, I walked to the closet, and went inside. Decades of clothing hung within, pressed and squeezed together to fit. I had teased him for it, saying he was more of a girl then me. I let my free hand glide over the fabrics as I walked to the back. There was so much here, so much that made my chest tighten at the thought of loosing it.

It wasn't mine to keep though.

Even if he were alive, Kyousuke would have done just as I was doing. He'd once said he had a secret storehouse somewhere in a different country that held priceless things from his years. I just hoped that was true.

Stopping at the back, I brushed aside clothes and reached back, grasping a cool plastic handle and pulled it out. It was red, and the liquid inside sloshed at the movement. I crinkled my nose at the smell of gasoline, and checked to make sure the small packet of matches on the side where still there. Nodding, I pivoted and left the closet.

Kuronue watched as I shifted the picture and journal under my arm and unplugged the large container's spout. Slowly I tilted it, flinching as the first drops hit the floor. Holding true to my resolve though, I slowly walked backwards, leaving a trail of gasoline behind me. I only stopped once, to tuck my new objects into the small suitcase and then to pick up my violin and the rug and tie them to the pull out handle of the trunk. Shifting it to the wheeled side, I pushed it forward though the ranch house, splashing gasoline as I went.

I walked slowly though the halls, Kuronue floating behind me and my trail of liquid. I passed the great room, with the leather couch and the large fireplace, I passed through the kitchen and the dinning room and then I stopped at the door that lead to the outside. It took me a moment, to find the strength to open it, to walk through the threshold of a place that held so many memories.

The air felt much colder as I stepped outside and emptied the last of the gasoline before tearing off the matches and dropping the jug. I pulled my things off the porch and rolled them to the tree line, letting them lean on the large tree I had often sat under to read.

Kuronue gave me a weighted look, one that told me he was sorry but knew it did little to ease what I had to do. I sighed, walking past the apparition and to the edge of the porch. My hands shook as I swiped the match on the sandpaper and failed to light it once, twice, three times, before the stick snapped in half.

Frustrated by my nerves, I shook my hand out and took a new match. This is what he would have wanted, I told myself. This place meant nothing if everything I had cared for was gone. The animals, the energy, the man I had called a second father in many ways.

It was time to move forward.

This time, the match strike was clean and fire sparked on its end quickly. I stared at the tiny flame for a moment, watching it struggle in the air as it ate away at the stick, getting closer and closer to my grasping fingers. I let it eat away till it was moments from burning me, and stared at the entrance of the place that I had once called home, one last time.

Then I dropped the match and stepped back, watching in numb wonder as the flame grew exponentially, devouring the gasoline and following the trail I had made inside.

I continued to step back till I was under the tree line, my eyes never leaving the house. I knew the forest was safe, for the trees were yards from the house and in between them was only stone and sand. I flinched when I heard the first window shatter under the heat of the growing fire and saw the smoke begin to rise as it turned the wood to ash.

Slowly, I let myself slide to the ground, my back against the tree and watched as the flames engulfed the ranch, the fluttering snow doing nothing to calm it. Kuronue joined me, sitting next to me, and on reflex he tried to touch my shoulder. His hand ghosted through me though, and I gave him a watery smile as he let his shoulders sag. He couldn't comfort me like he wanted to, just like I had said so many times before. Still, I was glad he tried, because I didn't want to watch this alone.

Sometime during the show of flames and smoke and snow I drifted into an uneasy rest, the last two days finally weighting me down too hard. I didn't dream and for that I was glad. When I woke, Kuronue was no longer next to me, but within his pendant once more. As the sleep cleared from my eyes I heard a screech from a bird and blink, setting my eyes forwards.

All that was left of the ranch is blackened wood that had caved and piled up on top of scorched rocks and melted metal. Some of the support beams had settled pointing up, like blacken fingers reaching towards the sky. The flames were gone, having eaten their fill, and everything was covered in a small blanket of snow powder, as if the earth wished to hide such sadness. Standing slowly, I brushed snow from my shoulders and hair and once again heard the call of a bird.

Glancing around I found it, my eyes widening at the sight. Perched upon one of the shorter blackened fingers was an owl, its feathers turning white, like the ones Kyo had worn tied around his neck so often – he has once said he felt that owls were his spirit guide, though we had never owned one. The owl tilted its head at me; cocking it in a way only an owl could with out breaking its neck. I wondered what it was doing there, why it had been perched there. Was it watching over me because it felt the pull that all animals did for Soul Detectives? I wasn't sure, but I liked the comfort the thought gave me. Behind it, I saw that the sun was all but gone now, and I reminded myself I still needed to report to Koenma, no matter how tired I still was

"Another long night…" I muttered and the owl cried again, flapping its wings against a gentle wind. I watched it, still slightly dazed as it pushed off from the marred wood and toke off into the air. Soon, it has gone, flying into the tress, only its soft cry echoing back to me.

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><p>Izumi's Playlist: <em>Your Bones<em> by Of Monsters and Men.


	8. Chapter 8: Fate Strings

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><p><strong>Chapter Eight: Fate Strings<strong>

It was well past two AM when I finally reached my apartment back in Tokyo and unceremoniously dumped my things into a pile in my room. I probably should have been more careful, but, at this point, I was too tried to get a shit. I stared at my bed longingly for a moment, wanting nothing more then to kick off my boots and fall onto it. My eyelids nearly dragged themselves closed at the mere thought.

I shook my head, knowing I couldn't and turned away, already muttering about the time it would take to get to Spirit World so I could make my report. I had planned on going to see Kurama today, but at this rate, I'd been sleeping all day instead.

"… _How long have I been up now?" _Counting the small nap at the ranch was hardly worth it._  
><em>

"_Oh, forty plus hours, give or take a few with the time zones and stuff."_

"Awesome." I grumbled out in English as I left the apartment complex and walked to a near by alleyway between a drug store and a warehouse that had been for sale since I had come to live here. Near the back of the ally way I stopped for a moment and reached out, touching the stone wall. This was one of the easiest entrances to spirit world unless I wanted to fly there, and right now I wasn't sure I was up to that. I was liable to some how end up with a FUI or something. Muttering to myself I used a small amount of energy and made it shoot through my hand, telling the hidden portal that I was indeed allowed to go through. With that my hand sunk into the wall as if it were nothing but air. Closing my eyes I sighed and walked forward, my ears popping gently and my hair lifting at the light wind current before I was suddenly somewhere warm.

Reopened my sleepy eyes I found myself in the halls of my work place. It took me a few moments to get my bearings, and then I kicked myself. I was nowhere near Koenma's office. The portal wasn't really a portal after all, but more like a teleport to spirit world. One normally had to have their destination in mind before entering. If not, they were dropped somewhere random like I had just been.

"Ag…" I rubbed my face with a hand as I started trudging down the hall.

"_It's your own fault for not paying attention."_ Kuronue pointed out. _"Instead of thinking about how you'll lose 'Kurama time', you should have been focused on the mission." _

I stiffened slightly at his remark.

"_I was not! It was a passing thought and you know that."_ I wasn't even sure I had been thinking when I had passed through the portal. Still Kuronue snorted acting much like a teenager that wasn't getting his way.

I wasn't sure if it was because I was tired or if I was simply sick of feeling his resentment towards one of his oldest friends. The fact that he was bringing it up again now, just irritated the hell out of me.

"_Are you seriously still trying to tell me not to be with him?"_ The silence that answered me left me even more agitated. _"I would think after yesterday it would have sunk in, then again it hasn't before so why would it now?"_

The very fact that Kuronue had phased right through me when he attempted to comfort me was one of the main reasons I had shut out any real feeling for him in that nature. Soul mates or not, no life could be built around that, so I had turned my mind from it from the start.

The bat demon, however, had already allowed such feels, and so, he suffered with the fact that I was with his old partner and not him. This fact made me often feel like I was living inside of a soap opera.

Besides, even if for some unethical reason I suddenly fell head over heels for Kuronue, how in the world would you explain to a living person that you were dumping them for a ghost? It was unbelievably stupid.

"_If you're so close to him, why haven't you told him anything? Perhaps not about you became Soul Detective Izumi, but there are others that know much more about you then him. Are you afraid that telling Kurama about Saitō would go badly? He should still know. I do, and I don't care."_

I stopped for a moment, and sighed. That was true, Kuronue didn't care. Then again my… interaction with Saitō had occurred during a time when the bat demon and I had still had trouble getting along.

His words still strung though, for they were the undeniable truth. Kurama had understood before, he knew I had my secrets, my past, hidden for a reason and he had assured me that he would wait till I felt I could tell him. Coming to terms with what had happened to me so many years ago, still some times was hard to except. But what Kuronue spoke of – what he held over me now – were things that had happened after my death, things I had no real reason to hide, other then a childish fear that Kurama might see me differently afterwards. And really… that was no excuse.

My mind connecting dots suddenly, making decisions that I had been wary of before, suddenly too clear to deny. It brought to light something that I should have told him before, regarding Kuronue and myself. I frown, crossing my arms, my mind made up.

"_You're right… I'm going to have to tell him. If I ever expect him to truly trust me, I need to tell him about Saitō…and about you."_ I realized, thinking back to the day Kurama and Saitō had that little chat. The redhead hadn't said anything about it to me, nor had he asked about my relationship with the SDF agent, but I was sure he was confused. In all reality, I hadn't been fair to him at all, while I knew quiet a bit about him thanks to my job and Kuronue's memories, he knew… next to nothing about me, and half of that was a lie.

Kuronue was taken back by my sudden decision, and he backtracked, bristling at my words. _"No! Izumi, you don't need to tell him about me. What good will that do? He'll probably demand that you take the pendant off when you're around him!"_

My choice faltered for a moment, clouded over with his reasoning, I could easily just follow his words. I had done so many times before. I thought back to two years ago, to the tunnel incident and my decision to withhold information about Kuronue from Kurama. I'd followed my friend's plea, but in the end, that had almost killed me and ruined my chances with the redhead.

I didn't want to do that again, yet I knew that there was a chance that Kurama might not take the fact that his old partner – who was a ghost and was connected to me on a level he could never be on – had feelings for me. Jealously, no matter how strong the person, can make them crumble to the thought of loosing something important to another.

It was all a bit too much for my tired mind to really process.

"…_Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea…"_ I flinched at my own thought, knowing that too much lack of contact could lessen the bond we had, and Kuronue's snarl only echoed his pain.

"_No, I demand that you keep this to yourself!"_

"_Demand?"_ I scowled, narrowing my eyes at the ground. _"You can demand nothing of me, this is my life!"_

Another round of snarls boomed through my head, causing it to throb. _"Fine, do as you wish! Its not like you ever listen anyways!"_ With that sharp snap, Kuronue retreated to the back of my mind and I gasped, in pain as he threw up a block between us so he could sulk without my thoughts in the way.

"God damn him!" I snapped, forgetting Japanese once again and kicked the wall I was standing next to before wincing and hopping backwards. "Ouch!"

"Izumi?"

I jumped slightly, turning to face my employer who gave me an odd look. Though, it did look a bit funny seeing at it was done around his pacifier.

"Koenma, sir, I erm…" I rubbed my head sighing. "I was just coming to find you so I could make my report."

The prince raised an eyebrow and it occurred to me that he'd been in his teenage from the morning I had been debriefed to, was this his normal form now? "I figured as much," he replied. "Though it would seem you and your partner have had a bit of a rough night."

"He's just… being difficult sir, nothing to worry about."

Koenma nodded his head slightly before waving his hand. "Come on, we can talk back in my office." As he started walking back I suddenly felt the strangest urge to scream. I didn't normal ask questions about my job but I needed some kind of reassurance. Something I could grab onto that was a fact. I needed answers…

"Koenma?" I said hastily. The prince stopped, and looked at me. "I just… can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

I shifted a bit, rubbing my arm before I walked up next to him.

"I just, I wonder why he did it." I started off. "Your father, why would he tell Soul Detectives right off the bat that their demon partners are their one and only soul-mate? I get that it explains the whole reason why we can work together but, it just seems… rather cruel."

Koenma stared at me for a moment before sighing, his hand coming up to scratch his mop of brown hair. After a short amount of time, he nodded his head slightly. "Yes well, we both know my father had a very interesting sense of duty. He probably thought it was kind of humorous to watch you struggle with such a thing, what better way is there to isolate you from others and keep you loyal to Spirit World then to tell you that. After all, he was the only one capable to bring the demon back if needed be." His hand fell from his head and he gently placed it on my shoulder at my scowl. "But, what my father said Izumi… it's not really… the truth in a way."

I frowned, confused slightly, and pulled away at his words. In the back of my head, I felt Kuronue perk slightly at his words, he had been listening after all then…

"What do you mean?"

Koenma sighed said before he started walking once more. "As I said, we shall talk about this in my office. There is much you should know."

Confused and a little more then slightly curious, I followed the ruler down the hall and towards his office.

When we entered his office something about the room seemed more ominous then it ever had before, which made no sense to me at all. How many years had been now? Six. Six years since I had started my job in Spirit World, six years since my life had changed forever. Six year since the first time I had ever been in this room. Nothing about it had changed. It was still vastly empty, nothing but open space except for the large wooden desk near the back wall that was currently - and normally - covered in papers that looked as precariously balanced as a game of _Janga_ nearing its end.

I waited for the prince to saunter over to said desk, where he would more than likely cause the papers to go toppling down. When he didn't do so, but instead turned to face me once we were near the center of the room, I stared at him confused.

Just what was going on?

"Give me your hands."

My brows rose at the odd command, but like the good little detective I was, I did as I was told and casually lifted them, placing them onto one of his, palms down. My hands were not the prettiest. They were worn, callused and red in places. The cold left them chapped; giving me bad hang nails and sore cuticles. The nails were chipped, broken in places and holding dirt under them. They were certainly not the hands of a normal teen. These were not the hands of the girl who had walked through these doors years before. They were the hands of someone completely different.

Koenma nodded his head and his other hand rose, hovering over mine. For a moment, nothing happened, and I wondered just what the hell he was trying to do. Then, his raised hand glowed slightly, the outline shining in a white light. Slowly, as if they were snowflake, little particles of light drifted down from his hand the fell upon mine.

I felt nothing at first, then a small warmth in my hands began to surface, growing till they were almost glowing as well. I glanced at the ruler, still confused and found his gaze on our hands, his consecration easily seen by the way his mouth mulled around the binky in his mouth. Shifting my gaze back down I jumped slightly at what had appeared.

There were three of them, and they started out at nothing but small light pink shapes over my fingers and then grew in opacity, growing brighter and darker till they had blushed a deep red. They were… strands, ribbons of some sort that were attached to three of my fingers - two on the right hand, the middle and pointer, and one of my left, the pinky - and as they moved farther way they became more transparently, disappearing completely after barely a foot.

"I don't… are they?" I stared bewildered by what I was seeing; yet easily remember the countless pictures, stories, and saying that drew from such a thing.

"Humans didn't really get it wrong you know." Koenma said easily. "They just, much like my father had you believe, made it too absolute."

I shook my head, mouth gaping slight at the three red strings on my fingers. Kuwabara would so love this. "What do you mean?"

"Soul mates do exist Izumi, but there is no such thing as one soul mate, the universe simply can't make such a thing happen. Call it as you will, fate, destiny, mere chance, people are drawn to each other, but one seldom feels such a things for just one person. It might appear that way, seeing as in most cases when you find one of your matches, you stop looking." When he saw the confused look on my face only become more prominent, he sighed. "Think of it this way: when a being is created, whether they be human or demon, certain things come into play. Linage of course, and the physical state of that being, but there is more to it than that. When someone is born into the world that depicts who else will also come to be in the world. It is how the universe knows what to create next." He gestured down to my hand and the strings that were upon it. "For instance. When Kuronue was created - perhaps not born quiet yet, but when he was put into motion - the tie to you was also formed, as well as any others that formed as well. Thus, when that happened, though not for many centuries to come, your connection with him and others were also written into being."

I blinked, once, twice and then three times before raising my hand and rubbed my eyes before setting it back where it had been. "But… that doesn't make sense Koenma." I complained. "My parents weren't even born when Kuronue was, so how in the world was it that I was…written at the same time as he was."

Though still quiet miffed with me, Kuronue agreed silently, though seemed to deal with the information a bit better than I did. Koenma smiled patting my hands as if I were a child needing comfort.

"You are thinking too linearly Izumi. Time, space, creation, none of it is as such. It is more like an ever-expanding tapestry, flaring out in all directions, not all of the pieces connected at the same time. It maps out the past, present and future in a way no one can truly comprehend: some pieces only connecting after centuries of time have gone by. Think if it was a more complicated version of the Moira from geek legends." He applied to me, knowing I had great knowledge in that field.

_Or like the Three Witches in Shakespeare_, my mind supplied for me as I tried to wrap it around the words being spoken.

_"I would sure hope our lives aren't being created by three old women." _Kuronue chimed in from the depth of my mind. Even though I was nowhere near close to forgiving his earlier behavior, my lips twitched slightly at his words.

"So if Kuronue is one of them… who are the others?" I eyed the other two strings with cautious curiously, eyeing them much like I might snakes.

"That, I do not know." Koenma replied. "I am not as all knowing as many think. I don't control such things, though as you see, I can glimpse upon them, perhaps if they were in the same room with us I could tell, for you would be connected by one of the ties. It is quite possible that they do not even exist on this plan of living yet. It is also possible that at one time, you had more strings attached to you."

I gave him a slightly startled look and he shrugged slightly. "But I… how did they come off?" Was I broken? Well okay, I already knew I was broken in some ways, but I hoped I wasn't _that_ broken.

"That can happen for many reasons, the most normal being that the person had died and moved on into the afterlife. That's not the only possibility though, as soul mates can choose - if both agree - to sever that kind of bond. That doesn't mean they hate each other, just that, for one reason or another, things didn't work out. Such things aren't absolute, nothing in this world is." Koenma tilted his head slightly as I gave him an interested glance. "Like for example, it is quite possible, if things had been different, your relationship might have been different with Saito."

My jaw popped open and I stared at my boss like a teenager might if they got caught making out with someone in their room by a parent. Was he suggesting that Saito and I had once had the option of being life partners? Even more so, how did he even know about …that?

Koenma laughed slightly at my horrified face. "You must think me naïve. You forget I am much older than anyone you know."

"Yes well… it's hard to think of you as some wise old man when most of the time I've known you as a toddler…"

He sighed.

"You have a point." Slowly, he drew his hands away and I dropped mine, the strings fading into nothing, though I felt as if I could feel the loops on my fingers now, as if they were ghost. "What my father told you, was cruel, and I am sorry that you felt so trapped," he muttered. "You just have to remember that everything in life relevant, that every choice you make can change those strings. It is quite possible that if Kuronue had never died and been trapped in his pendant that you two might have never met, or you still might have, seeing at the barrier is now gone. It is also possible that if Kurama hadn't been forced to flee to Human World that you two might have never met as well, or that if both of them had lived you might have met both and yet, only one of them would have kept the fate string with you."

As he spoke I nodded my head, realizing just how complex the world truly was. It was like one big ever-changing puzzle, and frankly it made my head spin. It wasn't until my mind caught up with me that I truly registered what he had just head and jerked my head to look at him straight in the eyes.

"Kurama?" I muttered confused, Koenma nodded his head. Brow furrowed I fought at the confusing notion much like Kuronue was. "But… but you said you couldn't see who they were!" I accused. Koenma smirked at me, his teeth clenching the pacifier as he did so.

"That's true, but that doesn't mean I can't have a good guess about it." He teased, and I scowled. "Things must be complicated for the three of you." He said suddenly and I frowned glancing at the ground. "True, when you said my father was cruel, it is in more ways than one. Yet, normally, those of the Soul Detectives do end up isolated for one reason or another, it could be seen as a blessing to still find partnership. You are different though, and so, what will happen Izumi, is completely up to you and Kurama. If I am right, your bond to him is just as strong as the one you have with Kuronue."

Kuronue glowered quietly in the back of my head and I did my best to ignore him. I had always known this of course; my master had spent decades of time up on the mountain with only his soul partner. I hadn't thought it was on a cosmic level though, and that was kind of creepy.

Suddenly the need to fall into bed was ten times more prominent in my mind. I was sure though, that once the shock wore off, sleep would evade me until my mind felt less confused and cluttered.

"Thanks for telling me," I muttered after a few minutes and the prince nodded his head, walking over to his desk. I barely blinked when the motion sent papers cascading to the ground and he cursed.

"Now then." He prompted, ignoring the mess for the moment. "Your report?"

And just like that, things went back to normal. I gave a curt nod and straightened, placing my hand behind me and preceding to do as he had asked. I told him all I had learned that was solid, and he confirmed that Hiei had in fact sent the message that he had told me he would. When I told Koenma of my worries, of that rather disturbing information that connected the rebels to the attack on the ranch, he had given me a look that told me he was as worried as I was about what I had found.

"Did you find anything at the ranch that pointed to that?"

I shook my head. "Other than a few signs that lead me to believe my master is gone, I found nothing. I know there was a high class fire demon as well as a demon of earth that attacked us, maybe Hiei can take another look into the informant I found." I didn't allow myself to feel sadness about my master again; I had done so enough in the last few hours. Right now I needed to focus. I also kept my finding of the journal to myself, as I found no reason to tell Koenma of it yet. I wanted to find something first before I said anything, to honor my Master's privacy.

"Good idea. I'll send a message to Mukuro." He paused for a moment, looking at me with a slightly saddened expression for a moment. "I will also send the ferry girls back out again. Kyo's soul might be wondering lost."

I often forgot that Koenma had probably known my master a very long time. Kyo had been the second Soul Detective ever assigned, and it was only thanks to his partner's power of rewinding his timeline and age that he had still around to teach me.

Time powers were so much cheating…

I nodded my head again, blinking slowly as my bed called to me once more. Koenma must have realized this.

"That's all for now." He dismissed me. "Until we know more I can't send you out again. You can count on a mission with the SDF in the near future though. Once we nail down a place where the rebels are, you'll be going in."

I paused slightly, something sparking in my mind at the mention of the SDF. "How is Saito?" I asked, realizing I should have when Koenma had mentioned him before. The ruler nodded his head, expecting my question.

"He has all but recovered now, Kurama's and your quick thinking saved him from a lot of pain and bed rest. The healers were able to finish up what you started. You could see him now if you want."

I thought about the offer, and I would have liked to see my friend and make sure he was okay for myself. I also wanted to give him a good head smack from his little conversation with Kurama. My resolve however only lasted about three seconds before I brushed it aside for the time being.

"I will soon enough." I promised. "For now, I have other things to do."

"Very well. I will see you soon Izumi."

I don't remember much of leaving Spirit World and of making it back to the apartment. Kuronue had been very quiet since Koenma had told us about the truth of the world, and honestly I'm not sure if he had spoken if I would have heard him.

Sloppily, as if I had been drinking, I locked the door and staggered into my room, kicking off my boot - and almost tripping over them - and yanking off Kuronue's pendant where I dropped it on the nightstand. Just as the sun was rising for a new day I pulled my blackout curtains shut and finally, _finally_ flopped onto my bed where dreamland welcomed me quickly.


	9. Chapter 9: Lost Time

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_Warning_: This chapter has some slightly adult themes in it, nothing too hot, but you've been warned! :)

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine: Lost Time<strong>

"So… what do you think?"

The shop owner eyed me from behind his half moon glasses as he held my damaged violin. He was an older man, with a graying head of hair and smile lines fanning out around his light brown eyes – eyes that looked oddly, vaguely, familiar.

"How did you say this happened?" He shifted his gaze down the cracked and chipped neck of the instrument; I had taken off all the strings before coming in because they'd mostly been snapped.

"Car crash." I answered easily. "Was in the back of my folk's car with a friend when it happened and she had asked to see it. We all some how survived but as you can see..." I had pulled the story out of thin air that morning on my way to the instrument shop, hoping that it was believable. It also made a rather good cover story if anyone ever saw my newer scar.

It was weird having to come up with lies on my own, but after last night and the news Koenma had dumped on us, Kuronue and I had agreed on a day apart to think. For now, the pendant that held my partner was tucked into my pants pocket.

"Hm." Gently, the owner set my violin back in its case on the glass display counter. "I should be able to fix it, though I cant be sure that the new finish will match the old very well. This must be rather old."

"It is. I've had it since I was eleven, but it's something I really treasure." The relief I felt was more then I had thought it would be. Even if it hadn't been fixable, I would have kept it, just simply because it was the only piece of my past life I had.

The shop owner nodded his head, "Alright then, Miss Takara, I'll go put this in back and be back to discuss pricing. Go ahead and have a look around."

I watched him disappear behind a door near the back of the shop and then turned my attention to the stings section. Walking over, I played with the strap of my messenger bag, careful not to knock off my headphones that were looped around it. Chellos, guitars, basses, violins and the odd banjo lined the eastern wall, ranging from normal acoustic to hardwired electric, and all of them ranging in color, size and style.

It was amazing.

I took a step closer, leaning on the glass counter to eye a dark green electric violin with a dark wood neck and black etching. I'd always wanted to be able to get one, but money had been tight in the family when I had started wanting one, so I had never asked. Now, I guessed I could get one, with the money from my work at Spirit World, but lately, some times I wonder why I bothered. I hardly played any more, not because I didn't want to, but because I had no one to enjoy it with besides Kuronue. Master Kyo had some times sat and listened in the two years on the ranch – I was his _Luna Strok__, _Moon Strings –after all, but he had often spent his nights in his room.

I sighed, lifting a hand and rubbed my eyes. It seemed that I was either thinking about Kyo, or Koenma's information today, and it was starting to because one big, confusing, stressful mess.

The store bell suddenly rang, and I jumped, my shoulders tensing as a new customer came in.

"Just me Dad!" a female voice rang out and I paused, blinking. Something about that voice was …

I turned around quickly, and spotted the newcomer, or rather newcomers. There was a boy and a girl, both around my age, or the age I was pretending to be anyways, and I found the girl staring back at me.

She was pretty, with light brown hair – the front of it pulled back into small braids – and matching eyes. Ner skin was the normal Asian tan and she wore a college uniform of dark brown and green. In her hand was a long, rectangular box, around the size of many in the shop, a flute container. As I struggled with the flash back of memories and shock, her face spread into a wide grin.

"Izumi!"

She ripped away from the boy's side and came rocketing to me, her arms wrapping around my tense frame. For a moment, all I could do was blink and stare down at the shorter girl in surprise. Had she always been this… energetic?

"Miyumi?" I mumbled and she gave me a gentle squeeze in reply. I couldn't believe it, one of my friends from high school, the flute player in our band. It was… amazing; I felt so light suddenly and took no time to return the hug a smile making itself known on my face. "It's nice to see you."

She pulled back, still smiling. "I can't believe you're back. I mean, I never thought I would see you again." She rambled, rubbing her arm. She looked down for a moment, and I thought I caught a hint of sadness in her eyes. I tilted my head, then caught movement as a hand rested on my friend's shoulder. Miyumi looked up and behind to smile at the other person in the room.

The boy was cute… in a different way

He had short black hair and hazel eyes. One of his ears was pierced and held a single gold loop in it, and as my eyes wandered I found the starts of a tattoo peeking out from his shirt collar.

When I looked at him, then back to my friend, she did the same and laughed slightly, embarrassed. "Oh, sorry." She waved her hand a bit. "Izumi this it Hiroki Aio, he's my boy friend. And Hiroki, his is Izumi Takara, remember, I told you about her, she was the violinist in my band in high school, before she had to go back to America."

The young man smiled, extending his free hand out to me. "It's nice to meet you, didn't think I'd ever get the chance."

I wondered briefly if this was the same guy Miyumi had been seeing two years ago, the one that went to a public school unlike we had. I returned the gesture after a moment, shaking his hand. "Same to you."

"So what happened?" Miyumi asked, once our hands had separated. "I wasn't under the impression you'd be coming back."

"Oh, I…" I rubbed the back of my head slightly. "I just, well… I missed it here, and after I finished high school, I was contacted by a law firm my mom had connections with in the area. I'm doing an internship with them right now, but I don't see myself leaving anytime soon."

My friend tilted her head, a small smirk touching her lips. "Is that the _only _reason you came back? Nothing to do with a certain redhead?" She smirked widened when she saw color rise in my cheeks. "Shuichi told me you guys were writing to each other, it was so cute." She giggled leaning into Hiroki's chest. "But man, the fan club was not happy, it's a good thing you weren't there."

I raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh? He hasn't told me about that…" I muttered, placing that into the back of my mind for later.

She nodded her head and we all turned our heads as the owner – her father – came back out from the back. He looked a bit startled at first but then smiled slightly, and Miyumi went through another round of introductions.

After that, I was suddenly ushered over to a small table in the corner of the room and 'catch up time' suddenly commenced as her father worked around the shop. I felt kind of bad. I had never known her father owned a music store. It reminded me of how much I had kept all my school friends at arms length. If I knew what was good for me, I would keep it that way, but I had told myself I would live my life like it was a life after the tunnel incident, so now things that were 'good for me', weren't at the top of my list.

I learned quickly that Miyumi was in college, but that she was auditioning for a job at the main musical theater as a flute player and actress. She had quietly said that I should try out as well, and I told her I would think about it. Her boyfriend, Hiroki, while he could apparently play the piano extremely well, had taken a different path in life, working as one of the main artists in a rather popular tattoo parlor.

It also led to why I was there – at her father's music store – in the first place.

"I can't believe you were in a car crash… are you alright?"

"Yeah. I have some nasty scars from it, but no permanent damage." I laughed mentally at the image of Sensui crashing a car in to me, rather then what had truly happened.

Miyumi nodded her head looking down again. "That's good." She shifted a bit and Hiroki, whose arm had been around her shoulders the entire time, smiled at me.

"You were lucky."

I nodded in agreement "Yeah." I shifted a bit on the hard wooden seat. "So… where is every one else? How are they doing?"

She brightened at my words, though I wasn't really sure as to why. "Oh yeah! I guess you wouldn't know." She muttered off hand, and Hiroki chuckled slightly at her sudden mood swing.

I raised an eyebrow. "Going to tell me?"

Miyumi smiled nodding her head again. "Yeah, sorry. They're doing great from what I hear. Shino got into a college in England. He's studying abroad, can you believe it? He's so lucky! He still plays guitar a little I think, but I guess he found something more interesting than music. "

I blinked, surprised and a bit jealous, though I wasn't really sure as to why. "Oh? What's he studying?"

"Molecular Science. Ug, just saying it gives me a headache." Her smile was contagious and I gave her one back. Just as I was about to prompt her about Ai, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. They both must have seen it to, because we all turned our heads to look out the window as small, white flake descended to the ground. "It's snowing."

Her voice was calm, but I could hear the excitement in it. I nodded my head, absently grimacing at the fact that I hadn't grabbed a suitable coat this morning. I had been cold on my way over, but now I was sure to freeze, and get soaked. I shook my head; I had certainly been through worse.

"So what about Ai?" I asked, getting back on topic. Miyumi and Hiroki turned back to me. She smiled at my question. Ai and I had been close in school, well as close as I had allowed it to be. She was of mixed heritage too, and we had kind of stuck together out of necessity.

"She moved to Kyoto a few months back," she started, her smile widening as she spoke. "Izumi, she's getting married. Not for a while, but apparently she had some secret relationship with a guy a few years older then her. Did you have any idea? I didn't, neither did Shino."

I felt like my jaw might hit the ground. Ai, was getting… married? Not only had I had no idea about this guy, but also that was the last thing I would have thought about her. She had always been so free spirited, her music was the only thing that kept her feet on the ground. When had this all happened?

Two years.

That statement floated into the forefront of my mind with stinging reality. I flinched, my hand clenching under the table. That was right, I had been gone for two years. A lot can happen in that amount of time.

"I… no I didn't." I muttered, fighting to keep my smile in place. Whether my friend realized my sudden change in demeanor or not, she didn't show it, continuing on.

"Yeah, I was pretty shocked, but her parents were okay with it as long as they waited till she was at least 21 years old. They're in no hurry from what Ai has told me, so she's fine with that. In the mean time she's working to become a music teacher, and her man is a lawyer, so they make pretty good money I hear. Oh! I'll have to tell her you're back, she'll be so happy." She rambled on.

It was Hiroki who saw me shift on my seat in an uneasy manor, and easily stopped his girl friends' chatter with a slight rub of the arm. She peered at him, waiting. "Sorry love, but we do need to get going, remember?"

Miyumi blinked and then glanced at the clock on the wall that read 3:40 pm, and paled slightly. "Oh, darn it." She glowered, before looked at me sadly. "Sorry, I need to go, I have class in twenty minutes, I was just stopping by because I was early."

Right. She had a life to get back to as well.

I nodded my head. "It's fine, I should get going too before the snow gets any heavier."

"Alright. Hey, do you have a cell number? We should meet up later?"

Cell number? I was confused for a moment, before remembering an ad I had seen in the mall. Right, cell phones had come out last year.

"I uh… no I haven't had time to get one set up over here yet." I hated the sad look she gave me, and so back peddled. "But, I'll be sure to get one and then I'll leave my number with your dad, alright?" I added a big smile to show I meant it.

She perked instantly. "Oh, alright, sounds good," she said smiling as well. We all stood up and she hugged me again, before letting go and picking up her book bag. I turned to look at her boyfriend.

"It was nice meeting, Hiroki." I said to him, and he nodded his head.

"Like wise. See you around, Takara."

With another wave the couple sped off, calling fair wells to the shop owner as they hurried out the door. I waited a few moments before pushing my chair in and replacing my book bag before walking over to the counter. I finished the details for the repair order with Miyumi's dad and handed him the credit card that was linked to an account that Koenma added money to as was needed. With a final thank you, I left the shop at well, frigid air doing little to calm my slowly climbing emotional tide that had struck out so suddenly.

I just needed to calm down.

Of course the world had kept turning while I was up at the ranch, of course people kept living their lives. Why wouldn't they? They weren't working for Spirit World.

Hunching my shoulders as snow gather on my hair and back I hurried down the street back towards my apartment, ignoring the shivers that wanted to break free. As I went I continued to try and calm myself with logic.

It didn't matter that I had missed a few things. That I was behind in technology and connections. I would catch up, like I always had.

People changed, just because I hadn't seen it didn't mean the end of the world.

But it felt like it.

While every one and everything kept moving forward, I felt stuck, still living the same bloody lie – if only modified to fit a fabricated life I had lived in the last two years – and still doing the same things as before. I tried to reason with myself, things had changed. I had completed my training. I had Kurama. I had gone on a real date with him and met his family.

It wasn't working.

I stopped, two blocks away from my complex, and clenched my hand on my bag. I didn't want to go back to my apartment, where I would more then likely stare at a wall and drive myself crazy.

What I wanted… was comfort.

For a moment, my free hand twitched for the pocket of my jeans, where Kuronue's pendant was. I stilled it though, because we had both agreed to take a day from each other and to only renew the link early if my life was in danger. Besides, when it came down to it, he wasn't really who I wanted.

My feet knew where to go before I could even think it. I sprinted into an all out run, my boots slapping the pavement, my headphones rattling like a baby's toy. I passed my apartment, and turn down the street, heading away from it once more. The air burned in my throat, and my legs protested, far too use to Kuronue's aid. I couldn't stop though; my legs wouldn't do it, no matter how much they wanted to.

When I finally reached my destination, I skidded to a stop in front of the small house, crammed in with all of its twins as they filed down the street both ways.

4256 Mio Street.

His family's house.

I didn't take the time to think about how rude it was to show up uninvited with no warning beforehand; all I wanted was right behind those walls. Chest heaving from stress rather than from over exertion, I hurried up the steps of the small porch and knocked sharply on the door with my hand.

Lowering my head, I stared at the door, watching puffs of cooling air float into nothing in front of me as I heard commotion inside the household. Voices, then steps and a pause, then the steps again, this time coming closer. When the door popped open, I saw read hair and let out a loud sigh.

Kurama blinked, a bit startled to see me there, out of breath, covered in flakes of snow, my hair more then likely a mess and my headphones barely latched to my bag any more. He frowned, apparently seeing something on my face. "Izumi? What-"

I don't give him time to be his normal inquiring self. I jumped him, throwing myself at him my fingers latching on to his shirt as I pressed my face into his neck. He jumped slightly, but his arms are around me in moments, wrapping me in a cage of warmth and safety.

It wasn't until that moment that I realized I was shaking, my teeth chatting and my hands trembling on his shirt. I could feel it, how my body wanted nothing more then to break down into tears, but my eyes were still dry. That didn't stop my throat from betraying me though as a dry, cracking sob forced its way out and Kurama's arms tightened in response, much like Hiroki's had on Miyumi's.

"Its alight," Kurama muttered, and gently guided me in out of the cold and closed the door. He pulled away for a moment, so he could see my face, and I frowned at him, glancing behind him, where I saw his mother, and his stepbrother both staring in shock. Kurama took their reaction with a grain of salt and gestured for me to remove my shoes. I pulled away from him woodenly and did so as he turned to his family. "Mother, is it alright if Izumi stays for dinner?"

Shiori snapped out of her shock at her son's voice and smiled at the both of us. "Of course dear." Her eyes lingered on me and I hunched my shoulders. "Why don't you go ahead and go up stairs with her. She looks like she's had a rough day. Remember your stepfather is sick, so make sure she watches her hands often."

At her words, part of me was surprised. Not many mothers, or parents would say such a thing. I often remember my own family, how my mother would remind me to keep my door open if I had a guy over – whether or not I was dating him – and how my father would always randomly walk by my room and check on us.

But Kurama wasn't a normal boy, and he wasn't a child any more either at the age of eighteen, and it was easy to see Shiori trusted him completely.

It took me longer then it should have to get out of my boots, my fingers felt numb and rubbery as they shook, pulling at the laces. When they were off, Kurama took my right hand and pulled me forward. I followed easily, glancing back to watch as Shiori walked away and his stepbrother, Kokoda, watched us leave.

I was led up to a room I had seen many times – whether it was because I was checking on him to make sure he wouldn't be a danger in my early years on the job, or when I had knocked on his window to see him once we had secretly started going out – but had never been in. The floor squeaked a bit, even under both of our trained feet, and Kurama let go of my hand as we entered and gently closed the door behind us. I walked over to his bed on the far side of this room under the window and sat down, clasping my hand together in front of me.

I repressed a shiver the best I could as I stared at my hands. After a moment a hands touched my scalp and fingers ran through my hair and undid the clip, seeing as it was almost out as it was. I looked up and he gave me a small smile.

"I'm sorry." I said after a moment. "I can't imagine me showing up like this is alright." My shoulders slumped slightly. "I wasn't thinking… a lot has happened in the last two days and I didn't want to be alone."

He tilted his head, crouching in front of me so we were at eye level. The hand that had my clip set it down on the bed and then covered my interlocked ones. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm glad you came here, you're alone too much, even if you have Kuronue." He paused, his eyes flickering to my neck. "Where is he?"

"In my pocket…" I muttered and laughed slightly as he raised an eyebrow. "We… had a bit of a disagreement, and then we learned some stuff that… basically we just needed a day away from each other. "

He smirked slightly, before leaning forward and kissing my forehead. "We can talk about it if you wish. First though, your shirt is quiet wet, as is your hair. Let me see if I have something you can wear while it dries."

I nodded slightly, seeing the logic of it as he stood and opened his closet on the left wall. I quickly grabbed the edges of my shirt with both hands and pulled it up and over my head, getting the cold fabric off my skin and setting it in my lap. My jeans were mostly still dry since the ground hadn't been very wet yet at least.

Oddly enough, being in my boyfriend's room, half naked with him, didn't seem nerve racking, or scandalous at all. It might have been, if we were two normal teenagers but we both knew we weren't. I was 22 years old that spent my days working for the ruler of Spirit World. He was 1000-year-old demon in a human's body.

In all honestly calling us children was a bit of a laugh.

Whether or not Kurama thought it was weird when he came back out with a shirt and saw me sitting there much like the night I'd come back, he didn't say anything. It was possible he thought I was trying my best to brush it off, or that he truly understood that my life had no privacy in it. Even without Kuronue though, this wasn't the first time a guy had seen me unclothed, and I knew his awareness of that had to be changed.

There was just too much to talk about, it made my head swim.

His eyes darted over me and he walked over, sitting down on my right, shirt in one hand. We stared at each other for a moment, before I looked away, embarrassed about where my mind had been wondering – if only for a moment.

His hand was on me again, this time on my shoulder, the one closest to me. I looked back, find him tracing the light out line of the healed burn that had been there. His fingers were so light, like a feather's touch, and he nodded to himself apparently happy with his work. I thought he was done, but I was wrong as his fingers skipped over my bra strap and lightly touched the vivid red scar that Shinobu had left. I had always been careful to wear clothes that covered all of my scars, and while he had seen me like this the day I arrived back, I was rather sure he'd been focused on my shoulder back then.

I winced at the frown on his face and looked down, though he continued to trace the scar up from my collarbone to my other shoulder, before he took his hand away. I took a deep breath, mind racing, heart pounding from both his touch and their meaning.

"Does it bother you? I know it's not very… pleasing to look at," I asked quietly. He sighed at my question and shook his head.

"Only in that I couldn't stop it. For awhile, it seemed like that fight invaded my sleep every night. I could almost smell all of the blood around you, and I remember that look you gave me. The one that admitted you were giving up." He leaned forward, the tip of his nose pressing against the curve of my shoulder. I jump slightly, my chest tightening at the pain I must have caused him. Reaching up I petted his hair, running my fingers through it.

"It wasn't your fault." I argued. He always seemed to have a way of putting blame on himself for things he shouldn't. "I knew back then, that going to that cave, choosing to fight him, was a big risk. I'm not that strong, nothing like your or Hiei or Yusuke. But I had to try, if only to prove myself to you." I sighed. "It was, stupid of me really."

"Perhaps. I shouldn't have said those things to you that night in the park though. You had your reason for what you did, and I let my anger get the best of me." He admitted, surprising my slightly as he lifted his head, catching me in his green eyes. I often forgot how wise he was. After a moment I watched him smile, lifting his head up completely. "But to answer your question Izumi, it doesn't bother me to see it, not really, not any more. More then anything, it reminds me of why I care about you." His fingers brushed at the scared skin again, a look of almost adoration flickering across his face. "Your bravery, your honor, your strength. You're like a lion." He laughed, looking at my face; it had begun to feel like it was burnt. "You _are_ beautiful, Izumi, your scars only amplify that."

I fidgeted, pushing some of my damp hair behind an ear. Laughed again, at my expense, he handed me the shirt and I took it, giving him a mock scowl. I wasn't use to all the complements he gave me some times. It wasn't that I didn't know I was pretty, people told me I was, but that was because they never saw more then I let them. They didn't see the scars, or the lies, or who I really was. They saw an American girl, with a nice smile and vibrant blond hair, something uncommon in Japan. Even knowing I kept so much from him, Kurama accepted all of it.

I wasn't sure how I felt about it. The fact was I was still lying to him and it made me wonder what he would think if he knew everything. Would he still feel the same? Small steps, I told myself. In time, he would know, and so would I.

I did like being compared to one of the world's top predators though. I was so often looked at as a bat because of Kuronue. And while I found the animal fascinating, I had never felt a real connection to it other then the fact that I turned into a bat demon. It had always been more of a way to connect to Kuronue, then the animal. Being compared to a lion though? I hadn't thought I would hear such a thing. It was a bit embarrassing, but I still liked it.

As I pulled the dark red button-up on, and slipped each button though the right hole, I could feel my heartbeat returning to normal. Just being around him, made things so much clearer, because even if everything else was falling apart, I knew I still had him, that we still had each other. It was what made our relationship different, special. It was what made my life manageable, even in times like these.

Once I'd pulled my damp hair out of the shirt collar, I found Kurama leaning on the wall his bed was pressed up against, using it like a headboard as he lounged on the bed. I could almost see him as he had been decades ago, his human form switched for the fox demon, his bed turning into pillows and piles of treasure.

Shaking my head, I shifted and crawled over to him when he beckoned me. Sitting down beside him, on my side, curing up against his frame I rested my head on his shoulder as his arm curled around my back. I stayed silent for a moment, pulling my legs closer and just enjoying the feeling of being warm and wanted. Then, after a time, I took a deep breath and steeled myself.

"There is a lot you should know."


	10. Chapter 10: Relationships

**Warning: This chapter has not been edit by a beta, read at your own risk.**

Yes, you read that right. Here's the deal guys, I gave this chapter to my beta a month ago and they keep either forgetting to do it or are too busy. So, I looked it over once more and have posted it because I hate making you guys wait for so long. Again I would like to look into a different Beta, just because of this mess that had happened. Whats in it for you if you beta my work? you get to read it early and I'm likely to talk about things if you have questions!

Any way, Let me give a thanks to: Counting Sinful Stars, Rylenae, and Pourquoibella for you reviews!

_Another small warning:_ This chapter gets into some adult themes, you have been warned!

Enjoy!

D.R.O.H

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><p><strong>Chapter Ten: Relationships<strong>

I started with the easier stuff, which was basically retelling him the last two days of my life. I tried to be unaffected by bring it back up, but I still felt a bit hollow as I spoke. I told him first, about my mission, the interrogation and what I had found out from Kuro the demon. When he asked me how I had done it, the mention of the power I had used seemed to be enough for him; after all, I was sure he had seen all of Kuronue's spells and powers first hand.

From my discovery with Hiei I told him about my journey back to the ranch and about the bone carved bead and hidden journey. The arm around my shoulders had tightened when I had spoken about burning down the ranch, leaving nothing behind but ashen runes.

When I got to the retelling of what I had learned about Koenma, things got a bit more difficult as I tried to explain everything. Apparently – thought I'm not sure how – Kurama already knew about the tie between the Soul Detective and their partner, though he didn't ask how I felt about Kuronue. Maybe he knew I going to talk to him about it? I wasn't sure, but Kurama always seemed to know how to go about things.

Finally, I told him about how I came to be at his house. About my run in with Miyumi and how suddenly I'd realized how much I had missed. "I guess I never really took into account the time I spent up at the ranch. Being around a master of time like that, even when he doesn't use his powers, can leave you out of place. " I sighed leaning into his shoulder as we sat on the bed. "I often wonder if I'm really living a life. It's like when I'm in this world, around people who don't know what I really do, I have to play this part in a script. I know I don't have too, and I've been trying to make the most out of the life that was given back to me. I don't know, I guess I just got overwhelmed."

"You have a right to feel that way." Kurama said easily. His hand, the one on the arm that was around my shoulder's rubbed my upper arm absently as he spoke. "Those who work for Spirit World, they can't live normal live, at least not completely. They know too much about how the world truly works, they can never go back to their normal, obvious lives. " He raised his free hand, looking upon it as if it would tell him the answers to the universe. "It's part of the reason I locked away my demon form. It had its ramifications, which I'm sure you've seen, but at least then, I don't have to keep that a secret to. "

I chose not to stay anything about his loss in power, though I'm sure if Kuronue could hear this he would have chipped in. Instead I reached up with my hands and placed them other his raised one, tugging it back down and holding it there. "You don't work for Spirit World any more either though." I pointed out. Both him and Hiei had been released from their debt when Yusuke had been fired from his job at Spirit Detective. As far as I knew, I was the only one in our circle of friends besides Botan who still worked under Koenma. "That has to count for something"

"That's true, and it has become much more simple." The hand I held curled around my top one. "But I still know everything Izumi. Even with my true self locked away I am still a demon in truth and you and Hiei and everyone else, your all in as deep as I in the truth of the worlds. I would have to sever all of that if I ever wished for a simpler life." He leaned over suddenly, startling me as he placed a kiss to the side of head, near my ear. "I'm not willing to give those up though. Not for anything."

A shiver ran up my spine, and not from the cold – though I had warmed up quiet a bit since changing out of my shirt – and I smiled looking down at our hands. He always made things seem so much simpler. I always had a clearer head when we talked. It was one of the things I took great comfort in, and I would need it now, even more, because now, the easy stuff was over.

"I wouldn't either." I agreed as he pulled back to look at me again. My eyes flickered to him and then to our hands again. It was silly to be nervous around him, but what I was about to bring up, was something I had never really spoken about to anyone besides the party involved. "I trust you Kurama, which is something a lot of people don't truly get from me. And I know, that you have returned that trust." I waited for a moment, and saw him nod his head. "I know because you have trusted me to tell you things about my life, things I haven't shared about this one… and the one before I came back from the dead. I haven't been fair to you though and I realize that now. "

"Izumi-"

"Please, don't try to tell me it's alright. Because I know it bothers you. That night, when you helped me with Saitō, I over heard what you two said to each other." I confessed.

The redhead tilted his head, and I felt his eyes burning into the side of my face. "I figured as much. There was a small change in the way you moved when you came back in. I'm sorry you had to hear that though."

"No it's alright. I think I needed to hear that." I sighed. "When we were in Spirit World, Kuronue pointed something out to me, and it made me come to the conclusion that I was being too careful. I was too afraid to tell you anything because I thought you might think of me differently, that you might…" I bit my lip, unable to finish, though Kurama seemed to understand, as his hand around mine tightened.

"What ever you've done Izumi, I would dismiss you on it. You have learned a great deal about me, about the things I have done, as both a demon and a human. How could I leave you, when you have stayed by my side?"

I smiled again, wondering once again how I had ended up with him. As corny as it sounded, some times he was just too much. I loved him for it though. "That's good to know…" I muttered shifting slightly, and the arm around me moved from my back so I could lean on the wall better. "I can't tell you about my other life, not yet, mostly because even after all this time it still haunts me. Only two people know about that and there was no way around them, but I will tell you, I promise. What I can do is tell you what I'm sure you've been wondering since that night. I never explained my connection to Saitō very well, other then that we were friends, good friends. There is more to that though."

I paused wondering how to go about telling him. Should I just get straight to the point? That seemed rather blunt, and he might not understand my reasoning if I did.

"Why don't you start from the beginning then." He suggested, and I nodded my head, figuring that might be the easiest.

"Alright. As you know, the first year or so after I was brought back was spent at the ranch training and becoming use to my new life and Kuronue. It wasn't till I was seventeen that I started my work for Spirit World. I met King Enma for the first time then, and was assigned mission soon after that. A few mouth in, I was assigned a 'confirm and clean up' job, as we call them. That's how I first came into contact with the SDF. Five of them were signed the same job, and one of them was Saitō. They were all rather distant with me; the only friendly one was one of the girls, Ōhō. She would talk to me on occasion if we were assigned the same missions. Over time, I think that we came to a silent agreement that we were friends, and the SDF did become a bit friendlier as time went on and they saw I was useful.

I didn't really meet Saitō till almost a half a year later. I had gotten lost on my way to the healing wing of Spirit world. The mission I had just finished had turned a bit sour, and while I had taken down the demon in question he had managed to sink his teeth into my arm." Absently, I used my free hand to roll up the left sleeve of the shirt and pointed to a light scar on my upper forearm near the elbow. It was an arch of dash marks, where the demon's teeth had cut into my skin. Thankfully I had gotten him off before he could hurt the bone or take off my arm.

Kurama eyed the scar with mild interest but stayed quiet, so I pulled the sleeve back down and started my tale back up again. "He told me later on that he had almost let me keep wondering, but when he saw that I was bleeding to the point of where I was leaving a small trail of drops every where, he intervened. That's how we met really; he introduced himself again, and took me to the healing wing, but instead of going to look for a healer, he helped me himself. He's a bit like Botan; he can use his spirit energy to heal if he concentrates on it. Nowhere near as good as Yukina, but still, it was more then enough for the wound.

After that, we just became friends pretty fast. He started requesting to be one of the SDF agents that were on the missions they worked with me on. He kept me company on long ones where they were stakeouts and we often hung out in Spirit World together. It was a good thing for me, I hadn't been doing very well at making friends at the school I had joined in human world." I smirked at him, nudging his shoulder, and he laughed slightly. "And Kuronue and I during that time, didn't get along very well. We… had a lot of different views that clashed in the beginning, and he liked to make me feel inferior. I think he was still a bit angry that he was basically being used, but he did get better over time.

It wasn't till after I turned 18 and we had started high school, that things really changed. It was a mission, one with the SDF, only a small squad though. Saitō was there as always, and we were in Human World for once. We were looking into a rumor about Human's taking demonic DNA and splicing it with people. I snuck in first, as was my role. We had to make sure first, before causing a scene. What I found though still haunts me to this day."

I shifted again, my mind shying away from the memories of that day. I focused on Kurama's hand though, on the pressure it gave my own, and pressed on. "The rumors had been true. The lower levels of the building were filled with test subject. They were mostly deformed, or dying from the treatment they had been given. I remember, one girl, probably around my age, had scales running up her arms, but there was blood flowing from them, because they had broken through her own skin to get there.

"We attacked of course, but some of the human had been turned into mindless abominations, and the people running the lab set them on us. It was gruesome, and terrible, and I hated it. I had no choice though… I had to kill them or else they would have killed me. I had just finished off another lost soul when I heard Saitō yelling at me. On nothing other then reflex, I turned and used one of the scythes to cut down another one, but it wasn't an abomination that time. I remember it so clearly, the look on one of the scientist face, he was so surprised I'd gotten him. He had a syringe of some sort in his hand, and he'd been so close to using it on me, but my weapon halfway through his shoulder had stopped him. He didn't die quickly, not to me any way, even after I had taken out blade and stumbled backwards." I blow out a long breath, letting my nerves calm. "We finished rather quickly after that. To this day I don't quiet remember how I got back to Spirit World. My mind was into much pain, I had never killed another human before, and that night, I had killed so many of them, both deserving and innocent. I had killed demons before, but humans? It hadn't ever really occurred to me."

It was strange, thinking back on that day, I could parallel it with what had happened to Shinobu, we had both never expected it, and it had been tormenting. Some how though, I had ended up on a different path.

"What happened next?" Kurama asked quietly. He was probably wondering how all of this connected to my relationship with Saitō, but it did. I had needed to tell him this first, if only to make it make more sense.

"The next few days felt like I was a ghost again. I didn't leave Spirit World, just wondered the halls and slept in one of the vacant rooms. After three days, Saitō came and found me. He had seen the whole event take place and now could see what it was doing to me. He took me back to his quarters, so that we could talk without interruption. I'd been there before; several times to just hang out. He tried to talk to me, to comfort me like anyone would. But I couldn't see the reasoning, so, I broke down. I felt like I wasn't in control of myself any more, it was the first time I had really realized how different I had become, and what truly scared me the most, was that, even though I was shocked and sad at what I had done, I didn't feel guilty about it.

"Saitō told me about when he first started off; he'd always felt like he was on the outside of him team, a bit different from the others. He was loyal to them, but some times, he didn't agree with what they did. Looking back, I think he was trying to find common ground in what I was feeling, but in those moments, when I felt so powerless of everything in my life, I saw something in his eyes that made me realize, I did still have control over something. So, I acted out, and I kissed him."

Beside me, Kurama stiffened slightly, but still didn't speak. I wondered if he had seen this coming. Saitō had hinted at it.

"It wasn't that I loved him, well, not in that way, and it was much the same for him. He tried to talk me down from it, tried to convince me it wasn't right, but in the end, both of our need for some kind of comfort and the fact that we had always been comfortable around each other, won out. It was weird, but something about it at the time, felt right. As to what happen next… I'm sure you have already figured that out." I couldn't look at him; my face was so warm I thought I might combust at any moment. I couldn't imagine what he was thinking, but my brain felt like a cluttered ball of yarn as I processed my own words.

I wasn't sure why I was embarrassed to say it, but for some reason telling your boyfriend you'd give your virginity away to someone else, someone you hadn't loved… it was just embarrassing. It was just one of those needed conversations, even if we were two normal people, at some point, something like this, would have come up.

Kurama didn't say anything, but he hadn't pulled away from me either, so I took that as a good sign and finished my little story. "I guess we kind of became what people call 'friends with benefits.' It went on for a while, almost a year, but then, I ended up ending it with him. He was fine with it, I guess he had expected it at some point, but some how even thought it should have, it didn't hurt our friendship at all."

"What changed your mind?"

I twitched; surprised to suddenly hear his voice, though it held no anger in it. His voice was calm like it always was. I looked at him, and while he seemed a bit guarded his eyes glowed with that intense foxlike glint he got sometimes. I lifted my shoulders in a shrug.

"I… a lot of things really. Kuronue and I had become friends and I had gotten a handle on how my job was, gotten over the hard bumps in the road. I just didn't want to do that any more, not when we didn't love each other. Not when there was no future for us, even if we had felt different, the life span of a spirit being even makes demon lifelines seem short." I squeezed his hand a bit. "I also, well, I guess I didn't get to know you, cause, you didn't know I was there really, but." I snorted slightly, annoyed with the burning feeling of a blush that deepened on my face. "My job of simply watching you, the one I had given myself, to make sure you weren't causing trouble, turned into something more. It made me realize I wanted a real relationship, and though I thought at the time having one with you was impossible… it gave me something to look ahead to."

Thought I didn't say it, my mind reeled to another reason. Kuronue had started sharing more and more about Kurama, effectively gaining my interest in him. I wouldn't find out till much later that the bat demon had been pleased when I'd jumped from Saitō to his old partner. He had though, even if I did show interest in him, that the redhead would never return it. His idea had backfired though, during the Tunnel incident, and I had only then really become aware of his intentions and his real feeling for me.

Glancing at Kurama, I fidgeted with my free hand, paying with a section of my hair that was over my shoulder. What did he think of me? It was true that my action had been rather thoughtless at the time, it made me sound like some girl who didn't care about her own purity. Though, really I had never thought it to be a big deal, not till now. My imagination ticked away with sound of the clock n the room, coming up with the most horrible outcomes in moments, but I tried not to think about that. I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry as the seconds ticked on.

Finally, he pulled his hand from mine and I winced, feeling as if all of the heat in my body had been sucked away with his hand. No, no, _no_! He couldn't really be thinking…

"Do you regret it?"

I paused in my fanatic thoughts and felt the muscles in my face pull down. There was that question again. Why did everyone expect me to change my answer? Saitō and Hiei had asked me, the only one who didn't was Kuronue and that was because he already knew how I felt about it!

"No." I said flatly before sighing. "He still asks me that question some times, but my answer will never change. I don't regret it, everything he did, everything we went though, it helped get me to where I am today." I let out a breath, feeling silly, but I wanted him to understand. Kurama was… he was everything to me. I couldn't lose him. I had to find something to say, to convince him it didn't matter.

What ever I might have thought to say next, was forgotten before I could even say them. Suddenly, the redhead's hands were there, his fingers tracing my jaw lightly, before he leaned forward and over to capture my lips in his. I was startled, but I let that fade and dropped my eyelids kissing him back. His hands wondered slightly, sliding one down my neck, the other slipping behind my back. I hummed and I felt a smile form on his lips.

Slowly, he pulled away, his smile still there. "If you don't regret it Izumi, then there is nothing for me to be upset about." He muttered and I raised an eyebrow at him. He smirked. "Am I surprised? Yes, but I didn't even know you back then. It would be foolish of me to think you had never been touched, your responses to my touches aren't that of someone who had never felt it." He sighed a bit. "If you had regretted it, I would have been a bit upset I think, because that would have meant you did it carelessly. I'm not surprised you have no regrets though, that's just who you are."

As he trailed his hand down my side, I flushed again, laughing slightly. "Your not jealous?"

"I didn't say that." He grumbled, brow furrowing. "But, as I said before, I didn't even know you and I'm sure you know from Kuronue's memories I'm no saint."

"That's an understatement…"

He made a strange nose in his throat; almost a growl and he ducked his head to kiss my neck. I squeaked, but closed my eyes again, relaxing to his touch.

"What matters to me," He muttered against my skin. "is that you are mine, now. Nothing can keep us apart." At his words I stiffened slightly, the warm buzz fading as I remember the other things I needed to tell him. He must have felt it, because he raised her head to look at me, his eyes searching. "There's something else?"

Slowly, I nodded my head. "I didn't want to tell you, because I thought I was handling it but… its become too much. You should know any way… I just didn't want to upset you." Swallowing, I had the feeling I would need water after all of this, my dry mouth was beginning to bother me. "Kurama… its just…. Kuronue, he…" I fumbled, my throat closing at the words. This could really hurt him, I knew, but he should know.

"That he loves you?" His words were out before I could speak them, and my jaw snaps shut, my mind suddenly frozen by his words. I felt stunned, like the moment you first get up in front of a crowd on stage. Kurama just tilted his head at me, giving me a look that I couldn't quiet name. "You really don't think I pay attention do you?" He mused.

I shook my head, feeling dazed. "Well, no it's just…"

"You did just tell me your souls worked together because you were compatible mates Izumi." He pointed out, making me sputter a bit. That was true, and I suddenly felt rather stupid for not realizing that. Kurama gave me a small smile, reaching up with the hand that had been on my back to brush blond wisps out of my face. "I had realized it a long time ago. Not long after we started going out. I could tell when you were speaking with him; your eyes become unfocused when the area is safe. I start to realize a pained expression would flicker across it after I would touch you, or a scowl would appear for only a moment after we kissed. I thought maybe it was because he didn't trust me at first, you two must have been close for years, but the way you reacted to what I could only guess was his anger made me draw a different conclusion. It's why I started taking off his pendent when we were together. "

I bit my lip, thinking back to those times. They had only become worse as was time went on, and I hated doing this to both of them. Kuronue was my best friend, the closest person to me I have ever had, but Kurama needed to know. I just hadn't expected him to already figured it out; really it shouldn't have surprised me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He slowly ran his figures down the length of my hair, acting as if it were silk. "I didn't want to bring it up." He sighed; holding the ends in is fingers. "I also, didn't want to think about how you felt about it." He admitted after a moment.

Oh.

He really was jealous, and worried.

Pressing my lips together I leaned forward and rested my head against his, closing my eyes. I felt his exhale more then I heard it. "You don't have to worry about that." I assured him. "I… I never let myself fall for him. I couldn't. It would have been easy enough I'm sure, but I had seen what it did to my master. He seemed happy yes, but he was so isolated, alone so much of time except for his partner and the animals he kept. He seemed to endure, or maybe there was some trick with time magic, but I never asked. I just couldn't see myself being with some one I could never feel. Never touch." To demonstrate I moved my hands from his back and curled a lock of his hair around my finger. "He could never comfort me like this, or hold me. We could never go out in public." My fingers left his hair tracing over his jaw line before running them lightly over his lips. I knew his face so well; I didn't even need my eyes. "I would never kiss him." I whispered, my word quieter as time went on. "I just couldn't let myself love him, not like that. I do love him though; he's like family, like a best friend. The only person I've truly ever loved like that is you."

His lips parted against my fingers and hot air hit them. "Izumi." Kurama breathed, and I opened my eyes to stare into his, the green seeming darker then before. When he didn't say anything more I gave him a smile. From what I remembered from Kuronue, Kurama had never been in a serious relationship. He'd never been interested, or at least never expressed it. It was possible he had never said such things to anyone but his mother, which really, meant something else entirely. It left me warm and weightless, knowing he tried.

"It's alright. I'm not going any where." I assured him, then made my move before he got too caught up in thought. I removed my fingers and kissed him. The same, groaning-growl vibrated my lips as he engulfed me. His arms and hand suddenly everywhere, his mouth opening mine and I was more then happy to comply.

His hand pushed me down and I broke away gasping as my back hit his bed. Opening my eyes I saw him over me, his chest heaving, his eyes dark with want. I smiled, knowing that such a stare could be frightening, but feeling nothing of the sort. My arms around his neck tightened, pulling him closer and he smirked and leaned down again.

Then, from somewhere beyond his bedroom a sudden, loud, ripping sound, grabbed my attention. It was faint with only my human hearing, but it was a recognizable one. A cough – and not a normal one, but a round of deep, tearing ones – that echoed around the area. The kind that made your chest and throat hurt; made your eyes water and your head spin. Kurama heard it too – probably louder with his demonic hearing – and the spell was broken.

He sighed and straightened, getting off of me and moving to the other side of the bed where he laid down, curling his body against me. I blinked, and flipped over to my side, pressing my back against him. It was probably a good thing really, I didn't want to start moving that fast, not yet, plus not in his parent's house.

Another round of faint coughing sparked the resent memory of what his mother had said. "Your step father is sick?" I questioned, and felt Kurama nod behind me, nuzzling his nose into my shoulder and breathing in. "Will he be alright?"

"Its just a chest cold. He had TB when he was a child, his coughs have always sounded like that." He explained calmly, and I nodded sluggishly, with all my anxiety and adrenaline fading, the last few days were piling up. Kurama seemed to catch that and ran his hand over my top arm. "How much sleep have you been getting?"

I blinked, thinking. "I got a couple of hours at the ranch I think. Slept after I finished with Koenma, but it was filled with nightmares." I admitted sheepishly. I could almost see the frown. He new about my sleep cycles; knew I had nightmares often. He just didn't know of what, and for that I was thankful that he didn't ask.

"Dinner isn't for a few hours, you should try to get some rest."

"What about you?"

I heard him chuckle and he rested his arm over mine. "I'll stay here, I promise."

I relaxed, nodding slightly again and closing my eyes. " 'kay…" I didn't realize how worn I suddenly was till that moment, and I felt safe there in his room. I let the darkness of sleep grab hold of me quickly and it dragged me down with ease.

The last thing I remembered was the sudden feeling of something touching my pant's pocket, pulling something from it, and then the darkness submerged me in its warm, quiet embrace.


	11. Chapter 11: Memories

**IMPORTAIN**

Hey guys, D.R.O.H here! So I spoke with my Beta reader and for the time being they are too busy with work, plus they are doing NaNoWriMo. I did some serious thinking about putting my stories on hiatus until I could have someone look them over, but in the end, I couldn't do it. I myself hate it when a story is stalled, so how could I do so myself? So I'm going to keep posting, but with out a Beta looking over my shoulder for me there will probably be some errors and I would love it if you guys wouldn't think any different of my stories because of that!  
>As for NaNoWriMo me me, I crindged at it when I realised it had arived - seeing as I have three stories in the works right now, and one origenal on hold - there was no way I could come up with a band new one and then hope to finish it. SO instead of that I'm going to use NaNoWriMo as a way to push me forward and finish <em>this<em> story before the end of November. I'm deeply sorry to all my readers for being so slow with the updates, but hopefully you'll get to read this finished very soon.

On a side note: to any Dragon Age fans, my short story Beautiful Shadow had been posted and is finished. I would love for you guys to check it out and tell me what you think!

That's it for important new though, so lets get the ball rolling!

Thank you to Counting Sinful Stars, for your review! You've always reviewed my stuff every time and I'm grateful for you sticking it out for me!

As always, I enjoy any feed back i can get and hope my long time readers are sill enjoying Izumi's story, Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter Eleven: Memories<br>**

_The next thing I knew, I was dreaming._ When I opened my eyes I was staring at what looked to be the inside of a cave. The walls had been smoothed though, and there were small fat disks sticking out from each side in set increments, each one holding a seemingly free floating ball of light that glow an eerie cold white-blue color. My mind registered them at as Wisp Lights, a type of harmless fungus spore that glows as long as it remand stagnate in the air, which according to what I knew about it, could be years. They were widely used in demon world, but unfavorable during the harsh winters as they gave off no heat.

I was dreaming about demon world then, I grasped at the thought, my mind fleeting and unfocused. The thought occurred to me, but held no real meaning to me other then for that instant.

A sound reached my ears from further down the hallway echoing out in a firm, distant voice that seemed vaguely familiar, as did the hallway, I realized as I started towards the sound. I wanted to know why it seemed that way, but like before my mind seemed unwilling to focus on a thought for more then a few moments in time.

I let it go, focusing on finding the owner of the voice and finding a door in my way. The light that seeped in through the gaps in it was a warmer color then the fungal light, shinning a yellowish hue. I pushed the cracked door open, watching as it swung in with ease to reveal what I was looking for, and also answered my questions.

The warm light came from a roaring fire on the far side of the room, blasting heat and making the two figures in front of it appear as shadows. A table – large and made of a purple brown wood – stood between the two and myself, and while both were facing me, I could tell instantly that I was not present to them.

I blinked my eyes, focusing them and willing the figures to show themselves. As if I commanded the fire behind them dimmed, the contrast lessening. I saw the one leaning on the side of the fireplaces' wall first and was only slightly surprised to find Kuronue there, though he seemed a bit younger. His arms were crossed loosely over his chest while his pendant dangled from a fisted hand and swayed lazily.

I was only slightly surprised to see him there because it was more likely a dream about his memories rather then my own. I often had dreams of his past, though this one seemed new, at least to me.

My eyes drifted to the other figure – he was leaning over the table, hands spread upon it as he looked over what might have been a map – and found it to be none of then my partner's old friend. Youko Kurama was a vivid being, made in silver and gold with eyes that were far colder then the lights in the hallway could ever hope to be. Still, the fox demon showed kinship to those he trusted and gave them the title of friend, rather then just fellow thief. When Youko suddenly moved, it was to look behind him at his friend.

"It's cold out." He said easily and Kuronue rolled his eyes, reaching beside him and throwing a piece of wood on to the fire, sending its blaze anew.

"She's not that weak, it is nothing." He replied and Kurama sighed turning back around.

"To us maybe."

My mind reeled for a second, wondering why the fire was a 'she', but like every question, it soon faded. Dreams weren't meant for be examined though, and so I let go and simply watched, walking over to a near by chair and sitting down.

"We may be getting in too deep for this. One wrong move and someone will get hurt." Kurama said evenly, turning his gaze back on the map, a clawed finger tracing something upon it. Kuronue shifted against his spot on the wall, rolling his shoulders.

"Are you going some where with this? You act as if this is completely new to the both of us, yet that is far from the truth. Fate simply has not chosen the path quiet yet."

Though it was slight, I saw the fox's shoulders tense; saw the finger that had been tracing the map curl in ward to make a fist. He turned again, pivoting half way to look upon his friend.

"What are you hoping to get out of this?" He asked curtly, his hand waving at the map. "It will solve nothing, it's a futile attempt, and I think you know that."

"You know nothing of what I think." Kuronue replied briskly, his crossed arms seeming to tighten. After a moment though, the bat demon seemed to rethink his words. "You would do the same…" he relented finally.

"No." The silver fox muttered coldly, "I would not, at least not now. Maybe a few centuries ago, but not now."

Kuronue pushed off from his spot, stocking forward a bit and glancing at the map his partner still studied. "You don't understand. Everything always fell at your feet. I never found what I was looking for, not till her." He jabbed his finger at the paper and I wondered if what they were looking at wasn't a map at all, but a person.

I might have gotten up to look, if my mind had become drawn to their conversation again and all thoughts vanishing with them.

"It isn't fair to her Kuronue, nor to me, or yourself, your smarter then this." Slowly, the fox demon reached out with a pale hand and laid it on his friend's shoulder. "It's not your life any more, it's her's and she should be aloud to choose. Even if that choice is not what you want."

"You don't know her the way I do-"

The fox demon cut him off.

"I don't, but I also think that maybe, that is why this hurts you so much."

"What are you talking about?"

"You knew the old her." Kurama said quietly. "Know her thoughts, her past, her memories of before this life. Not only that but you knew her before her job tainted her, forced her to grow up too fast and changed her out look on life. I think that maybe, what you truly love Kuronue, is the person she use to be. Its like how she first described me, she only really had thing to go off of what your said, and what she saw herself. I think the reason you resent our relationship is because you know if I approve of her now, she will never return to the way she was." He gave his friend that all too command icy look. "Your in love with a ghost Kuronue, which I guess, is ironic."

Kuronue scowled, brushing away the hand. "And if I do? I trust you Kurama, I always have, but your reasoning is unclear and foolish." Kuronue nodded to the paper once more. "What you have done, you have forsaken yourself, what would happen if that loss meant you couldn't protect her, or anyone else?"

"And you could do better?" Kurama rebutted, and while I had expected Kuronue to become angry, instead, he simply smiled.

"I'm not going to let her die, I promise you that Kurama. She deserves a life without pain, but that is impossible, and so I shall do what I can, when she needs it most."

Slowly, the fox demon nodded his head and began to roll of the parchment. When it was nothing but a small cylinder in his large hands, he ran a finger over the edge of one side.

"I know what I did was selfish, but I don't think it will put her in danger. She didn't always have me there, and she has protect herself. If she needed me though, I could do enough."

"Are you sure about that?" Kuronue muttered frowning as he eyed the paper. When the fox demon only have him a stern look he sighed. "Alright then."

Youko Kurama shook his head, using the roll of paper like a wave as he started to move from around the table.

"We shouldn't fight like this, but at least think about what I have said."

Kuronue tipped his hat back, frowning as he looked back at the dancing flames. After a moment, a smirk appeared. "Yes. For her, I will."

Kurama smirked right back. "That's all I can really ask for." He waved the parchment again and the bat demon nodded his head, following his partner out of the room. I watched them leave, blinking slowly as I tried to process everything.

What a strange memory. Something about it just didn't seem right, but in this world, in this place of dreams I was unable to hold a thought together long enough to truly do anything with it.

The boys disappeared from view and with it; the light of the fire seemed to evaporate. Slowly but surely, the place drew dark and I felt that darkness dragging me down, down, _down, into itself and my mind went blank once more_.

It seemed like a long time before I felt something warm – a hand I realized after a moment – touched my face, skimming over the left side gently. It stroked my cheek and I took in a deep breath as a voiced gently said my name. Cracking my eyes open, I blinked, the haze of my dreams still in the forefront of my mind. Glancing upward I found my favorite redhead sitting on a desk chair near his bed where I was still laying down. He smiled when I met his eyes and brushed blond locks out of my gaze.

"Dinner will be ready in a ten minutes." He informed me, and it took me a few moments to remember where I was and how I had gotten there. Once I remembered that, I nodded my head and slowly sat up.

"You sure it's alright for me to stay?"

Kurama just smiled again, his hand leaving my face to rest in his lap with the other one. "I'm sure. I told my mother you had a case at work that really hit close to home. She understood."

Right. My fake job at a Law Firm where I worked under one of the Agents to learn the job. I had said we worked on mostly international, complicated cases, so Kurama's excuse was a rather good one. Not that I expected anything less from him.

"Alright. Thanks." I muttered rubbing my head. I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, the memories of a dream I couldn't quiet grasp at the moment. It was always such a frustrating thing to know it had struck a cord while you slept and then refused to make itself reappear once your were awake.

"You alright?" He asked after a moment, his eyes reflecting the worry in his voice.

"Yeah, just sleepy." I answered my eyes drifting around the room. They came to rest behind the fox demon, where the only light in the room came from a desk lamp. His desk was neat, clean of almost everything, save fore a single piece of paper with handwriting on it, and a stack of envelops. I raised an eyebrow. "What is that?"

"The last letter you sent." Kurama answered, reaching back he picked up the paper. "It came in the mail yesterday."

A small shock ran through me, for I had nearly forgotten about that last letter. That day had spiraled so fast, yet it had barely been a week ago. It felt like it had happened so long ago.

Time it seemed had a way of playing tricks on me.

"You never did explain what Hiei meant. Though I would assume it had to do with your rather odd greeting to each other." The redhead prompted, and I was glad for the subject change. It made me wonder if my face had given something away. Instead of feeling bad about that though, I pulled myself out of my darkening mood, and focused on his question.

"As you know, Hiei and I have known each other for a while. It wasn't long after the two of you caused that mess with the Dark Artifact and stated working off your debt that we met. He was assigned to help me find and interrogate a group of humans. We didn't get along that well at first, I'm not sure if it was his charm or just the fact that for the most part it takes a while for me to feel comfortable around demons, at least, that's how I felt back then." How many years had that been? Over four years now if I really thought about it.

Kurama chuckled, setting the paper down on his lap and getting comfortable. "You both have rather stubborn personalities. I was surprised when I realize you were one of his friends, though he would never admit to that."

"No, he wouldn't." I agreed. "Over time, I did learn more about him, tried to be friendly with him, that hardly helped. After I gave him the tape with Yukina on it, the one he was to deliver, I told him to look at it first." I shifted a bit, pulling one knee on to the chest and resting my chin on it. Kurama didn't seem surprised, nodding his head and I continued. "I got in a bit of trouble for it, once Koenma figured it out. Enma put me on a hard assignment, one I had to do on my own. I think he misjudged the severity of it, because it turned out to be too much for me. The group of demons I was supposed to take down, or at least survey, got me and kidnaped me. There had been too many and back then my hand to hand combat had been even worse." I grimaced at that and sighed. "Koenma found out and sent Hiei to get me. He did, killed all of the demons rather quickly. He was angry with me, for being caught like that, he told me I needed more training. I argued with him, and some how he ended up teaching me a few things."

At that, Kurama did seem a bit surprised, his brows rising. When he moved to say nothing though, I gathered my thoughts again and concluded my short tale.

"It kind of became a thing after that. One of us would just randomly throw a punch or something at each other. I often lost, got angry and would end up with quite a few bruises because of it. He never really hurt me though, just taught me a lesson as he saw fit."

"So that greeting was a test?"

"To see how much I had improved in the last two years. He seemed to approve… I think." I rubbed my neck for a moment. "He's… "

"An enigma?" Kurama interrupted. I raised my head from my knee and tilted my head.

"I was going to say 'a pain in the ass'." I corrected him to which he smirked. "But, I guess that works for him too."

Kurama shook head said slightly, amused and sat up from his chair, leaning forward. He placed a kiss to my forehead and I smiled, heat blooming on my face. When he stepped back he folded the letter and put it back in its case. "We should go see a movie, like you asked." He said, referring to the letter. "You'd have to pick one though." I watched, amazed as he placed the paper on top of the stack I had seen before and then placed them in a box I hadn't. He had kept all of my letters then…

"I can do that." I muttered, trying not to feel guilty about loosing his in the ranch mess. I hadn't even thought to look for them when I had been there. "I'm not even sure what's out." I muttered off hand, time laughing at me again.

"Neither am I." He agreed, smiling as he placed the box in the corner of his desk. "They should be in the paper though."

I nodded my head; a bit relived I wasn't the only one that was clueless. Down below, through the closed door, the sudden sound of Shiori calling us down drew my attention. I stood up form the bed, stretching once and Kurama watched me as I did so. Once I was done, I stared for the door, with him by my side.

"You know." I ask after a moment as I pulled the door open. "We should go outside with Kokoda later, have a snowball fight." I wasn't sure why, but it just seemed like a good idea. I hadn't spent much time with his family, and I wanted to get to know them better.

"We could, but what are you hoping to accomplish, besides getting all wet again?" He asked, amusement still in his tone. I turned to him once I was in the hall, meeting his sly gaze.

"Nothing really, besides maybe some fun." I said, before a smirk crawled up onto my face at a new thought. "Though, now that I think about it, Kokoda and I could probably kick your ass, Mr. Bookworm." I teased, turning to walk down the stairs. He caught me around the waist before I even made it a step forward, pulling him into me, and leaning over my shoulder.

"I will take that challenge and prove you wrong." He mused, a promise in his voice that made my pulse race. I snorted, and pulled away.

"You are so on." I said with a laugh, and headed down stairs with the redhead right behind me. Dinner was peaceful after that, full of positive words and warm food. After the meal and cleaning up, the three of us, Kurama, his brother and I, did commence in an all out war, the youngest pairing with me.

To the fox's great displeasure, he found himself not only covered in snow by the end of it, but was also the sore loser of the night.


	12. Chapter 12: Shadows of Life

Sorry, this took a while, things have been a bit crazy lately... it was a very long chapter that I ended up rewriting a few times because I wasn't sure how i wanted it to go. Anyway, I hope it reads alright!

Thanks to Counting Sinful Stars for your continued reviews! It means a lot that you've stuck with me!

Bonus Triva!

When I first started thinking through Izumi's story almost 5 years ago, she was almost completely different. She really was an exchange student form America and she was staying with the Kuwabara's. She had no connection to Spirit World or anything else expect that she happened to be Kuronue's line, but extremely deluded to the point of having no powers at all - at first. That changed completely though when she happens to find his pendant at a shop and starts hearing voices. haha.

As you can probably guess i scrapped the idea just simply because it was so...iffy.

**Also: As I have said before I have no Beta reader... still looking...so sorry for any typos and stuff.**

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><p><span>Chapter Twelve: Shadows of Life<span>

The wind howled over the demonic plans, tarring at the open space with freshly sharpened claws. It was cold, icy in nature and it sent chills down my extremities violently. Winters in demon world were far worse then that of human world and it made her begrudge Kuronue's choice of clothing.

Using his full powers though, did help the situation seeing as demons didn't feel the cold as sharply as my human self. Still, I wasn't use to my final form, the black hair and the pale skin. I tug at the ragged hat with annoyance, my wings wrapped around my shoulder to keep out the wind.

"_Tell me, why a barely useable vest? It's hardly worth wearing"_

"_Did you not see what Kurama wore back in the day?"_ Kuronue grumbled, making my blush at the thought. The fox demon's shirt was hardly any better then his old partner's. _ "That's what I thought, you know how demon world is. Clothing its really important."_

"_I've realized that."_ The women of demon world wore even less then the men, to the point of wear some of them looked skankier then strippers in clubs. _"I guess I don't see the point."_

"_Its just how its always been."_ Kuronue explained and I could feel the smirk he was giving me in my mind_. "It's a good thing you are a human, you wouldn't do very well here, miss modest."_

I floundered for a moment, irritated at his rather truthful statement. _"Just because I don't walk around showing off my body doesn't mean…I just don't see the point of doing it." _I had never been much of a show off in that regard, my wardrobe consisted – as Shizuru had pointed out – of mostly long sleeves. The assumption that I did it to hide my scars was partially true, but I had never felt comfortable in anything else for a long time now.

In another life, it had been different.

"_I'm sure Kurama wouldn't mind a change."_ Kuronue teased and I rolled my eyes, we had gotten too far off topic now, so I rubbed my arms a bit and got back to work, choosing not to answer my partner.

I tried to keep myself busy doing my job to ignore the chill and the echoing feeling that I had missed something as of late. Even if there wasn't much left to do, it was better then going around in circles trying to figure out what was bugging me. I kicked over a half frozen blanket near a dead fire pit in annoyance. This was the third known camp sight for the rebels that Hiei had extracted from the demon Kuro. We had missed them again. Either that or they had known we were coming.

Either prospect wasn't good.

"Izumi?" Saitō walked up next to me, his long hair blowing around and got in his eyes from the wind while mine stayed put thanks to the high tail Kuronue kept his in. I was glad my friend was well again, and that once again we were working together. I had never been able to admit it to him, but I had worried Saitō wouldn't recover from the burns. Spirit World really was amazing. "Did you find anything else?"

I shook my head crossing my arms as I chewed on the inside of my cheek. "These guys are quick, well organized. Their higher ups know what their doing."

Saitō sighed, brushing hair out of his face as he looked around. "You said you'd found Kyousuke's journal and that it might help us figure it out, did you ever find anything?"

I frowned, hating that I had not only invaded my master's privacy, but also having to share his privet words with others. "There are a few places towards the end where I think he might have known something was up. He told me once time powers some times backfired on a person. He saw a lot of events and premonitions when he slept or meditated. Sometimes they were from the past, sometimes from the future. One of his last entries spoke of a vision he had where I had been burned." Absently, I reached to my right shoulder where the traces of that scar remained. Maybe that had been why Kyousuke has wanted me to run so badly. Maybe he had seen me die. Shaking my head I finished my thought. "There was nothing solid though, I'll look it over again once more just incase."

Saitō nodded his head, his dark eyes skewering the area again. He hated failing just as much as I did, and lately that's all we'd been doing when it came to the rebels. "It almost seems like they know us too well. Spirit World hardly tells outsiders how we operate. It makes me uneasy."

"Just what are you suggesting Saitō?" The third member of our little group came stocking up, his blue hair ruffled and the tips of his ears almost purple with the cold. Shun-Jun, the new head of the SDF was a pain to work with, and he was another reason I was glad Saitō had been able to come. It was unlikely much would have gotten done if it were just Shun-Jun and myself, we weren't very friendly.

"Nothing." Saitō said evenly. "Spirit World is too hard to get into for there to be any infiltrators. Not too mention the energy scanners at the entrances. " He sighed looking around again. "I was just thinking out loud."

Sometimes I forgot how fail safe Spirit World was now a days – what with Hiei and Kurama braking in and then Chapter Black being stolen – it was almost military based now. It reminded me of some secret military branch, like Area 51.

"_Maybe it is. Mr. blue-haired-high-and-mightily looks like an alien to me."_

I snorted slightly, quickly covered my laughter with a cough.

"_Kuronue…Your not helping." _

"_You know its true. Besides I'm just trying to make sure you don't get too bored."_

"_Gee… thanks."_

"_Anytime."_

Shun-Jung gave me hard look before eyeing the area again. "Did you check for cover ups?"

I nodded my head, but just to make sure I blinked once and activated my Shadow Eyes to see through hidden traps. The ground was splotched with colors of energy, but nothing feasible. Still it was worth double-checking, as we knew the leader was an illusion demon.

"No. Just the remains of several auras. There were a lot of demons here, but it doesn't seem they hid anything to come back too. It's likely they won't come back at all if they knew we were coming."

"Which would mean our information is no longer valid." The leader said flatly, brooding almost. What did he have to be upset about, I'd been the one who spent all that time finding it and Hiei had been the one to get it from the demon.

Yet another reason to dislike the guy.

Releasing my power I fished my newly acquire cellphone from my pocket and checked the time. It was around noon in human world, which meant I'd been working for roughly eight hours now.

"Look, if we're all done here then I'd like to start heading back." I said evenly, businesslike, as I always was round Shun-Jung.

"Tich. Have some where to be?" He replied.

"I do." I answered.

Saitō sighed, putting a hand on his teammates shoulder and giving me a small smile. "I'm sure we can handle it if there anything else, right sir? There's nothing here to find."

The blue haired SDF scowled, shrugging off the hand and shaking his head. "Yeah, fine. Get going if you're going to Takara, before I change my mind."

I smiled, silently thanking my friend with my eyes before turning and giving a small wave. I quickly took to the sky, trying to ignore the cutting wind and wishing Kuronue had a scarf.

Either way I would be back where it was at least a little warming soon. Hopefully, I would make it on time for my date with Kurama. Flying through the dimensional layer, I found myself back in he forest outside the city. Flapping my wings I landed on a high branch of a tree and pick up my messenger bag which I had left there in the early morning. Jumping to the ground I released my hold on Kuronue's powers watching from the corner of my eye as my hair came back into view once more and was blond in color.

With Kuronue's clothes melting away they were replaced with my attire from this morning. One thing about using Kuronue's clothes and powers was anything I had been wearing myself were kept clean ad neat until I was myself again. Smoothing my light blue cashmere sweater over my dark jeans I shouldered my messenger bag and started the walk back to the city.

The snow had gotten deep after an entire night of it falling the first night and while it hadn't snowed since, it was cold enough that none of it had melted away. It was times like these I was glad my combat boots were waterproof. Pulling the scarf from my bag I quickly put it on as I stepped out of the park, covering my lower face with it. The soft gloves came next and I rubbed my hands together as I went down the street.

Thankfully the teahouse I was meeting Kurama at wasn't too far away. It only took me ten minutes of walking to get to the right street. Turning the corner I spotted the small building and hurried towards it, pushing the door open. The inside of the shop was dark with amber lit lights and a sharp pleasant scent of many freshly ground teas. It was a good sized building for what was needed, with a café styles front for purchases and the back half full of seating areas and a large burning fireplace. As I walked in further looking for my favorite redhead the soft sound of musical interments playing Christmas songs whispered in the background.

There were a few people in the sitting area, a pair of couples and a small group of girls. As I pulled off my gloves in the warm room the lady at the front gave me a gentle smile and I returned it before walking into the seating area.

I found Kurama sitting on a couch that faced the fire, a waxed oak table in front of him. His back was to me, and as I walked silently closer I saw his eyes were focused on a book. I watched for a moment, as he flipped the page only a short minute after just doing so. It was kind of scary how fast he could read. Smiling I gently laid my hands on his shoulders, leaning over the back of the couch.

"Boo."

While he didn't stop reading right away, a smile crept on to his face and a hand reached up to grab one of mine. "You made it on time." He mused before finishing the page he was on and closing the book with an audible snap.

I snorted a bit, letting go of him so I could walk around the couch and sit down next to him, setting my bag down at my feet, and I pulled my scarf off before putting it and my gloves into the bag. That done I leaned back and snuggled into Kurama's waiting side, his arm resting over my shoulders as I leaned my head back to look at him. "I do try to make things on time when I can you know. "

"I know." He agreed, rubbing my shoulder with his hand. Shortly after his words one of the waiters came over with a fresh pot of tea and two cups. Smiling she left with out a word and I raised an eyebrow at the fox demon. He smiled, leaning forward to pour the already brewed tea. "I remembered what you got last time." He assured me.

I smiled to myself, rather unused to something so simple as a real outing with my boyfriend. Thinking about that was a bit sad really, had Spirit World ruined me for simply living? I smiled taking the cup from him and adding sugar like I always did. He shook his head slightly and I rolled my eyes.

"Blame the American in me." I said easily before taken a sip of it. "What are you reading?" I asked after a moment, glancing at the book.

"American fairy tales." He teased, holding the book up for me to read the title. I might have shoved him for his banter, if we weren't holding scalding drinks. Scanning over the name I laughed slightly.

"The Grimm Fairy tales aren't from America you know." I pointed out.

"I know, but your country did remake them. This book compares the two." He eyed the book for a moment before setting it down in front of him. "They differ quiet a bit."

"No kidding." I agreed. "When I first read the real version of Cinderella, I was horrified." My explanation was vague just incase he hadn't reached that story. Judging by the look on his face he hadn't and I just smiled at him. "Trust me, you'll understand when you get to It." Something about people cutting up their feet to get favored by someone was just really wrong.

Kurama hummed returning his arm to around my shoulders, his other one on the cup of tea. I held my steaming mug in my hands to warm them as he ran his figures though my hair. After a few minutes I felt the tug of the chain and knew Kurama had found it under my hair. "Would he mind?" He asked quietly, his mouth near my ear. I wanted to tell him it shouldn't matter because there were people around us, but I knew why he wanted to take it off.

He wanted me to be able to think without someone chiming in.

"_At least he asked first?"_ I thought sheepishly to my partner. Kuronue had been quiet for a while now but I still felt his annoyance at the fox's question. After a moment he sighed.

"_It's fine, I could use some time to meditate any way."_

"_Alright…"_

I nodded my head and no sooner had I done so I I feel the connection snap apart and the feeling of my hair flipping up and then landing back on my shoulders a moment later. I watched as Kurama held the pendant for a moment, eyeing the red gem before he easily tossed it into my open bag.

"Has everything been alright with you two?" He asked, pulling me closer. I shrugged, my eyes watching the dancing flames a few feet in front of us.

"Yeah, he's been a lot better lately." Ever since our day apart things had been easier between us. Within minute of us reconnecting the link that next day the bat demon was apologizing and saying he'd over stepped the line. I could see in his mind that he often forgot he was just a ghost, which I couldn't blame him for… still it made me wonder why he'd had the change of heart so suddenly.

What ever it was, Kuronue kept that to himself so I didn't push. Something in the back of my mind told me once again that I already knew what had changed his mind, but I couldn't seem to quiet grasp it, and that bothered me more then it should have.

"The camp was empty again." I said, changing topics. Kurama shifted slightly nodding his head. He didn't really like talking about my job, it made him feel more involved then he wanted to be. It stung a bit, because it was part of my life and that meant he wanted nothing to do with part of me. Still, he'd chosen to disconnect from that world, in mind and spirit. In that manner I couldn't help but agree with Kuronue in how ridicules shunning his demon self was, but it was his choice, so I said nothing. "We can't figure out how they know."

"What happened to the demon Hiei and you interrogated?" He asked after a moment, taking another strip of his drink. He was humoring me, because he knew it worried me, and it was considerate that he didn't completely shut the topic down. I paused, thinking back to my conversation with Hiei about it.

"I think he was let go, but Hiei brain washed him into forgetting that day. Do you think it didn't work?"

"That's always possible. The workings of the mind are different with everyone and to make someone completely forget about something is difficult and can be damaging." He seemed to ponder his own thoughts for a moment and I looked up at him, watching his face carefully. When he stayed quiet for more than a two-minute period I reached up slightly and nuzzled his neck with my nose. That broke his thought process and he took in a breath, smiling.

Setting down his empty cup, Kurama used his newly freed hand to lift my chin to look him in the eyes again. "I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure you'll catch the rebels soon enough." His dismissal of the subject was clear, but I let it go when he ducked his head and kissed me soundly on the lips. I twitched, half annoyed that my hands were holding my teacup and quickly freed up one. I kiss him back eagerly, eyes closed, my free hand reaching up and brushing his bangs back, touching the side of his face before tracing it down onto his neck.

He bit at my lip and I could do anything but comply, I'm too involved, too intoxicated to do anything else. I half choke on a small moan, but it squeaks out and I feel him smirk against my lips. When he finally pulls back from me, he gives me a cunning smile that reminds me how much of a fox he is, even if he is denying that part of him.

In all reality we know it hasn't been that long, I've only been back in town a little over a month now, but all I can think about lately is him when I'm lying awake in my apartment. We're moving too fast, a small part of me chimes in and I relent to that, knowing its right and knowing it's probably a good thing we're in a public place.

At the same time though I'm reminding myself that I'm 22 years old and that this isn't my first engagement with him or other people. We're we moving to fast? Was there such a thing? I knew the body he was in was only nineteen, but he himself was much, much older. So did it really matter? I couldn't think clearly enough with all the heat he was giving my scenes, and shook my head.

"You're driving me insane." I grumbled out quietly, and I heard him laugh just as soundlessly. I narrow my eyes at him. "Your horrible…"

"Sorry." He mused, and I can tell he's anything but that. I pull back to set my cup on the table and glance around, glad no one is looking at us and sighed slightly. Rubbing at the bridge of my nose I leaned back against his arm again. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." I muttered looking at him. "I'm just tried, I've been up since 3am. Don't worry about it, just don't ask me to go running off with you some where… or running at all."

He eyed me for a moment, slightly amused, before he nodded his head and reached out to pick up his book. "Why don't you just listen for a little bit." He muttered, stoking my hair. I'm surprised by his offer, because I wouldn't have thought he'd be willing to do such a thing. It fit his bookworm status though, and so I nodded my head, quickly finding out I love listening to him read out loud.

We stayed at the teahouse for three hour, him reading out loud quietly to me, the both of us going off in tangent conversations, and the ever sneakiness of stealing kisses. I told him about how I plan to pick up my newly fixed Violin in the next day or so and spend some time with Miyumi and looking into the music tryouts she had mentioned before. Kurama seemed interested in meeting her boyfriend, Hiroki, after I told him about the boy's job at a tattoo parlor. He couldn't understand why people got inked, and while I tried to explain he seemed unimpressed. Shamelessly I told him I had been thinking about getting one, to which he quirked an eyebrow at.

Around four, we packed up and headed back out into the snow towards my apartment. It was darkening outside and the street laps gave the snow a ghostly look as we passed under them. Even with my gloves on my fingers felt numb in the biting cold, though I took comfort in the fact that it's still warmer then Demon World.

As if sensing my discomfort, Kurama grabbed one of my hands in his and tugs me a bit closer. After another block we can see my apartment in the distance and Kurama finally speaks again. "My mother wanted me to ask if you wanted to come to the Christmas Eve party our family is hosting." He smiled when I give him a surprised look. "She's knows your family isn't in this country and I think she hopes that will make me more comfortable." He made a face at his own words. "I'm never very sure of what to do at them."

I laughed; surprised he was willing to admit that so easily. Still, it was cute that he did seem to fail at something. "Sure. It's not like I had anything else planned." I pointed out smiling. "I'd love to come."

The crunching of our steps stopped when I suddenly jumped, my left pocket buzzing to life. I groaned slightly, using my free hand to fish out my communicator and glare at its blinking green light as it buzzed. Glancing at Kurama he frowned slightly before shrugging his shoulders. He knew I had little control over the thing. Popping it open I pressed the button in the middle and the small screen lit up quickly showing Koenma.

"What is it?" I said lowly, to which the prince only frowned more then he already had been. This made me stop in my tracks, my annoyance freezing as I looked at my boss. Something was bothering him, and while that happened a lot, something about this time seemed different.

"Izumi, sorry to bother you, but this is important." He said stiffly. "We received a video today from an unknown source…"

I frowned, wondering what all of this was about, my eyes flickering to Kurama as I spoke. The redhead had stiffened at the sound of those words, knowing it couldn't be good. The last time they'd gotten a tap it had been a collection tape about Yukina. "What's that have to do with me?"

Koenma look in a breath, his hands interlinked in front of him. "Because Izumi, its addressed to you."

Stunned I stared at the little screen and felt Kurama's hand tighten around mine. "Me?" I muttered, brows pulling together. Why would something come for me? Hardly anyone even knew I existed; Spirit Detectives took all the heat normal, leaving the Soul Detectives in the shadows. But Yusuke had been fired long ago and the program had come to a halt…

"Yes…" Koenma paused for a moment – glancing to Kurama who had leaned in to the picture as well – before finishing his thought. "It had… _your_ name on it."

My heartbeat jumped up its place at those words and I scowled. Beside me I could feel Kurama's confusion as the action. "I'll be there soon then." I said tightly before clicking the communicator shut before the Prince could say anything else. Shoving it into my pocket I looked at Kurama and sighed. "I need to go check this out, sorry."

"I'm coming with you." He didn't even give me a chance to think, his voice was demanding and I knew not to argue with him. I nodded my head taking out Kuronue's pendant and slipping it back on. The dream of a normal life was over for now as reality had just knocked.

Knocked hard.

Kuronue caught up with events as both Kurama and I traveled to Spirit World, checking in at the Gate of Truth that now scanned us before clearing us for entry.

Yep, it could really give Area 51 a run for its money.

The entire way down the hall, Kurama kept close to me, knowing I was troubled, even though I did my best to hide it. It didn't help the matter when we arrived at the Prince's office to find Saitō there, leaning on the wall near his boss. My friend gave me a half smile and neither of them looked surprised to see Kurama there.

"We haven't look at it yet." Koenma stated, skipping the pleasantries, I must have known I wasn't in the mood for them. "Saitō was the one that found it."

"Have any idea how it was sent here?" I asked, walking closer as Koenma pressed buttons and a giant screen came down over the door.

"That's what is so weird, we looked over the camera footage of the drop off zone and nothing ever shows up, one minute its empty, the next the tape is just sitting there. " Saitō explained, the frustrated suckling of Koenma's binky only caused me to become fore agitated, and Kurama seemed to be eyeing the now blue screen like it could hurt us.

Taking in a deep breath, I tried to calm myself, tried to ready myself. If the tape had been addressed to _that_ name, to _her_ name, it wouldn't be good. There was no way I couldn't watch it though, even if I wanted nothing more then to leave right that moment. "Alright, lets see what's on this thing."

No said anything, there was just the click of a few buttons as I turned to fully face the screen, and watch.

The screen was black, or so I thought it was, as I looked upon it wearily, but as I watched, portions of the screen began to chance color, lightening into an eerie dark red. At the seconds ticked on, the color formed numbers, and then letters, and after a moment my brain picked up what it was.

A date.

Mid March, over two years ago, during the crises with the tunnel to Demon World, I recognized. We were left to stare as the date for a few seconds of silence before finally, a voice spoke, unhinged from a mouth in the darkness.

"Look closely human." It hissed, male and seething with hate so solid I would have touched it if the person had been present. "This is the date in which you began your own defeat."

I frowned, eyeing the screen carefully, unable to look away from it. What had happened that day? It had been so far back that while the event of the tunnels was still fresh, the days had begun to melt together. I didn't recognize the voice, but that fact meant little, yet if I knew it then I might have known what was going on.

"What should I call you? I suppose 'Detective' will work, though your list of names is a bit long." The words burned, making me flinch slightly as Kuronue growled quietly in the depths of my mind. "It certainly took you long enough to reappear, I do hope you enjoyed your disappearance, for I know I have not. You will pay for that day, girl, you will come to me willingly when I choose and surrender to your crimes."

"Doubtful…" I grumbled quietly, truly annoyed that some demon thought this would work. Was it a demon though? I had no way of knowing, and with that timeline in mind most of the people involved were humans, and most of them were dead or had turned over a new leaf. There were only two unaccounted for: Sniper and Doctor. Could this possible be one of them? I thought it unlikely, I had never even met Sniper was pretty sure the Doctor knew better then to mess with me, further more he owed me his freedom. So if they weren't in on this then…none of this was making any sense.

"If you do not, you will not be the one to pay." The warning brought me back and I stiffened slightly as the date melted away back into the darkness, only to drag up another scene, a more real one, not just letters and numbers.

The place was still dark, but I could see the lines of walls and a table towards the back. My eyes were drawn to the light though, as was the camera as it zoomed into the light cast by a single ceiling light. On the ground was a figure, bulky and human in form. It sat tied to a heave metal pole in the ground, both of which drew sharp shadows. As the camera drew closer to the figure, zooming into a bust portrait, I was able to pick out features even in the contrasting light.

Soft light brown hair, short but cut to cover the ears. Pale skin mostly covered in a bloodstained green shirt. A face of fear and panic that stared intensely back at the camera with light gray blue eyes, only marred by a single scare on his forehead that was a thick curved line, no larger then a thumb nail indent.

The very scar I had seen created as the same boy no older then seven had crashed face first into a cement garden block.

I took a step back and stumbled, my limbs suddenly numb and wooden like as I stared in disbelief at the young man on the screen. No, this couldn't be happening. Beside me I heard Kurama give a startled question, but I didn't hear the words, nor did I wondered why he had said them. All I could do was stare at the screen and listen.

"I will assume I have your attention now, Detective." The voice continued, his anger ebbed by the twisted amusement that crept into it. "You will come to me, but as to when that is you will not know. I would be waiting intently, if I was you, unless you want this boy to die that is." The speaker paused for a moment and in that time the young man on the screen seemed to wince away, closing his eyes and looking away. "Till then… Izumi Takara." There was no pause after that, just the sudden loss of the picture as the screen went black and a cry of pain drew out the end.

Then it was over, and the screen was blue again, but I didn't move, didn't even breathe. No words were heard not from the room or from inside my head, they were all swallowed up by my own raging thoughts that twisted and turned like a newly born tornado.

No.

This shouldn't have been possible.

I had gone through too much, done too much to prevent this. There was no way, I had been promised.

…I been been promised!

There was no recollection of my movement, one moment I was staring at a screen the next moment I was across the room, a hand buried deep into the garbs of the ruler of Spirit World as I held him, half yanked over his own desk. I felt no movement, just an intense, sudden anger that burned deeper then even my rising panic, fuelled from a deep snarl in my head.

Koenma stared at me, his face torn between shock and horror, as his hands planted on the desk to keep from crashing onto to it awkwardly. A growl peeled from my throat, the first sound I had heard in the room, and that seemed to break whatever trance had been held. The other's in the room came back to life for me.

"Izumi!" Kurama snapped, more confused and surprised then angry. I could hear his footsteps behind me, getting closer to me, but I growled again, and the feet stopped. To my right I saw Saitō tense, his frame only feet from me, but he didn't move. He must have thought I wouldn't hurt Koenma.

I wanted to though.

"Explain." My own voice didn't sound like me, and suddenly I realize my anger wasn't just mine, not entirely. Kuronue must have known, must have realized. The growl had been his, not mine, and his anger made my own voice colder then the snow I had walked though all day.

Koenma took in a breath, but he seemed too shocked to speak at first, when he did, it came out evenly, and he must have known he deserved my anger. It was his fault, after all.

"Izumi…"

"How the fuck did this happen!" I snarled, yanking again and making the prince wince. "You promised, you said they were safe." It was in English, I realized off hand, I had been speaking in English since the tape had ended.

"They were-"

"Did that look safe to you?" My other hand rose, meaning to strike him down. This was his fault; everything was his fault!

A hand touched my should, the one my free hand was attached to, and I stopped, my hand shaking in the air as Koenma stared at me with guilty eyes.

"Izumi, calm down." Kurama muttered, his voice right behind me. "You don't want to hurt him, it may seem like it, but you'll regret it later."

"You don't understand." I jabbed, but let his other hand pull my raised arm down anyway. "We had a deal."

"I know," He said calmly, though I knew he knew nothing "and he will explain, I promise you."

I saw Koenma's eyes flicker to the fox's behind me and knew Kurama's expression must have been one of his famous cold stares. Slowly, I felt my anger recoil back slightly; Kuronue withdrawing, as if realizing what he was doing. The grip on Koenma's robes loosen and after a moment, I let him go, and he fell back onto his chair in a muddled mess. As the prince straightened in his chair, my eyes flickered to Saitō, who stood as still as before, but had at least lowered his hand. He would have attacked me, I realized in that moment, even if we were friends, it was his job to keep Koenma safe.

It was probably why Kurama had stepped in.

I took a small step back as Kurama's tug on my shoulder, but I couldn't look at him. All I could really think about was that message and that Koenma needed to tell me how in the world it could have happened. "Explain, now."

Koenma nodded tightly, though he still looked lost to an explanation. "I have no answer for you Izumi." He stated, clasping his hands in front of him. "Nothing in our deal changed. That shouldn't be possible."

My hands clenched at my sides, and one flew to point back at the screen. "What do you call that?"

"I do not know." He said honestly, looking at me just as guilty as before, but there was honest worry there now. "If something had happened the agent I have watching him, watching all of them, should have alerted me. He gave me a weekly report just a few days ago; I will need to contact him. This could be a trap."

"Unlikely." I said quietly, shaking my head, the anger slipping away as reason caught up with me. "If someone knew about them, knew I had a connection to them, then there is nothing that would have stopped them. Why bother with a fake?" I sighed looked at the prince already knowing what he would fine when he tried to reach who ever was doing that job. "Your employ is probably dead."

"I will have to took into it." Koenma repeated, showing no emotional sign for my reasoning. "For what it is worth, Izumi, I am sorry, I am as horrified as you are. We will fix this."

"I don't want another promise." I snapped out, looking away from him for the first time and pulling away from Kurama to pace the room for a time. The redhead said nothing, letting me be for a moment before he finally spoke. "Izumi, you need to tell me what's going on. I can't help you if I don't understand what's happening."

I stopped, looking at him for the first time and wincing. He looked concerned, and for the first time, a bit lost. He didn't know what had just occurred; he didn't understand what had made me so angry. Surely he knew that I had a connection to the boy, but to what that was, he was blinded to.

"_I think it may be time for him to know Izumi. Everything, not just bits and pieces of it."_ Kuronue muttered, and I knew instantly he was right. Hadn't I promises Kurama I would tell him one day? It all seemed too wrong now, so rushed and unfit. Glancing to Saitō, the SDF gave me a worried look as well, but he nodded his head as if hearing what Kuronue had said. Kurama was the only person in the room who didn't know what was going on. On any other days, for anything else, that would have been hysterical, now though, it made me feel guilty on top of everything else.

This wasn't suppose to happen, it shouldn't have been possible. That was all I could think, even as I watched everything unravel before me. Everything I had done, everything I had scarified, meant nothing now. The lies and the stories were gone, and all I had left was my story, my life from before, I just wasn't sure who that was. As I sighed and looked to Kurama, I knew there was only one thing left I could do now.

I had to tell him the truth.


	13. Chapter 13: Sacrifice

I know, I know, I took forever once again. -blocks sharp objects with shield.- Hey now, if you want to blame someone blame Bioware for their amazing game that not only fried my brain but sent me on a tirade of fandoming. Really, if your a gamer, you'll love DA:I, and if you already do, be sure to check out my one short: Tethered Hearts.

This Chapter... this chapter took me forever to get done. Which is sad because, honestly, its on of the base ideas that started the whole story. It had to be perfect and I'm still not sure it is, but I couldn't hold it away from you guys any longer, wouldn't be fair. Still no beta reader, so you'll have to bare with my minimal ability to find my own mistakes.

Enough of my excuses though, no one wants to hear them yes? After all, you all finally get to known the big secret: What happened to Izumi in her past.** A word to the wise though, this is one of the chapters that made me make this story 'M' Nothing too bad, but still a warning. **

as always, thank you to Counting Sinful Stars and Spycat for your reviews, I love them all.

Enjoy!

D.R.O.H

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirteen: Sacrifice <strong>

The trip from Spirit World back to my apartment was anything but normal. It took me three tries to get the key in the door and even then, I dropped the damn thing when I pulled it back out.

I was frazzled, worried, brain numbingly conflicted.

Kurama retrieved my key as I tore at my boots, trying to figure out how to go about any of what needed to be done. He needed to know that much was easy to see. I just had no idea how to tell him, I had never had to tell anyone. Koenma and Saitō knew because they had watched it occur, Kuronue found out from nightmares and memories that I hadn't been able to lock away in the early days of my second chance.

"_Breath Izumi_." Kuronue coached as I half stumbled into the kitchen and let my bag drop with a 'thunk' onto the floor. Grabbing a glass for some water I concentrated on calming down as the bat demon said, and used the sink to fill my glass. _"This is Kurama, you know you can talk to him."_ Taking a sip of water I nodded to myself before setting the glass down and looking over my shoulder.

Kurama was leaning on the wall, giving me a worried yet calm expression. He didn't want to push me, but he looked like he wanted answers. I had to give them now, but it made me wonder if he would ever trust me again.

"There's a lot to say." I spoke up finally sighing as I looked back down at the sink. "Too much maybe, how do I even start?" Too many lies, too many hours spent telling them and living them. It was almost like telling someone else's story now, not my own.

"I know." Kurama replied, his voice taking a soothing edge. "Why don't you start with telling me who was on the tape?"

"_Just let him lead the conversation for now."_ Kuronue offered and then paused for a moment before adding, "_And take the pendant off."_

I was startled, nearly knocking over my glass at his words. _"What? Kuronue…"_

"_You don't need my thoughts in your head for this Izumi. Your going to have to relive what you buried, and it will become muddled if I'm there, pushing my emotions onto you. Just like with Koenma."_

The red-hot anger I had felt only a little while ago told me he was right. Pressing my lips together, I clenched at the pendant with one hand. _"Thank you."_ I waited for him to speak again, but when he didn't I gently pulled the necklace free and set it down on the counter. If Kurama saw – which he probably did – he didn't say anything, just simply waited for me to answer his question. Taking in a deep breath, I spoke words I hadn't in years.

"That was my little brother, his name is Damien." Robotic, that how my answer sounded I realize. All I could muster was to sate the fact; any emotion behind it only caused pain.

"Brother?" Kurama asked, clearly surprised. I turned, pressing my back into the counter as I looked at him. He truly looked shocked, which meant I had done a very good job of hiding it. His eyes searched my face and he frowned. "I thought…"

I raised an eyebrow at him, surprised he was so muddled. His reasoning hit me far too quickly for me to really bask in a confused redhead though. It was amazing, how well I knew him now; I could follow his thought processes, his reasoning easily when he put his guard down like this. "…You thought my family was dead." It was a statement, for the looked on his face left no room for questions.

"It was what I had come up with, yes." He replied, pushing off from the wall, to move a little closer, his hands moving from behind his back as he gestured around. "You don't have any photos of them, nor have you ever said anything other then what I knew was a carefully laid out act. Further more, you don't live with them, if you did I think your story would be quiet different."

I smiled slightly. He was too smart sometimes. I wondered how long ago he'd figured all of that out. It was too bad he was wrong. "My family isn't dead. Before tonight, I thought them to be safe and happy." My smile disappeared at my own words. "My story, my real one is much more complicated."

"Izumi…"

For some reason his voice, thought one of comfort only stung like I'd touch a nettle. It made me jumpy, and far too panicked.

"That's not my real name, you know." I blurted out before I could even think about it. Glancing up at the redhead from my nice spot on the floor I saw him falter, taking a small step backwards as if he'd been punched or shoved. The hurt on his face only made it clearer it had likely felt like a punch. I bit my lip, relenting slightly. "Well, okay that's not completely true. Izumi is my middle name, I just started going by it when I came back. It was a way to… distance myself from her."

"Her?" Kurama whispered, straightening in his stance again. My lips twitched slightly and I sighed looking up to the ceiling.

"The person I use to be."

It was quiet again for a few minutes, just the ticking of the clock in the background as I reached out and took another sip of my water before replacing the glass to the counter. When I looked at the redhead again I gave him a small smile, one he didn't return but at least he held no malice in his face or eyes, just confusion and worry, and maybe just a bit of curiosity

"I should start from the beginning." I said finally, and he nodded his head as I pushed away from the counter, trailing into the main room and circling the small table in the middle of it. I thought about sitting, but my legs were too restless. So instead I just stood there next to the table and ran a hand through some of my hair.

Kurama didn't sit either as he followed me, just stood near the mouth of the hallway to the room as if he were waiting for a trap to be sprung. I glanced at the couch, feeling a bit bad as it hardly ever got used.

"I don't know how to tell you this." I said quietly. "I don't know how it will go, or if you'll…" I trailed off, biting my lip as I glanced up at him. When had one of my greatest fears become him hating me? Kurama met my eyes and after a moment of silence he entered the room further, and finally came to stand in front of me. When his hand raised and touched my face, skimming the right side of it I couldn't help the shocked expression that flashed upon it.

"Nothing in this world, nothing you could ever tell me could make me hate you." He stated calmly, his hand moved to sweep back my hair, running his fingers tough it. "Just start talking."

I nodded my head slowly, finally able to get my head on straight with his words. It was silly that I had needed his reassurance, but I had. Now all that was left, was to do just as he said: start talking. That meant digging deep and pulling out memories I had buried, but with his hand there, in my hair, it wasn't as painful to speak of them as I had thought it would be.

"Not everything I said about my life was a lie, some of it couldn't really be faked. My heritage for one thing." I saw Kurama nod slightly as he continued to run a hand over my stark blond hair that cover pale skin. "My dad's family is from a long line of Danish people, they moved to America from Norway when he was eight I think. My mom is Japanese; she grew up in Kyoto and spent a good portion of her life there. They met because my dad is one of the CEOs of a weapons defense company on the east coast and he was in Japan doing a seminar. My mom was one of the Police officers assigned to keep him safe from protesters. As you can probably figure out they hit it off, and after a year or so she moved to America with my father, and eventual had me and then my brother."

I shifted slightly my eyes meeting green ones again as Kurama dropped his hand from my hair. My next words were harder, because I hadn't wanted to ever speak them again, let alone tell any one. It had been my biggest secret, the one that kept my family safe, or so I thought. The redhead tilted his head slightly perhaps seeing something on my face that told him I was struggling.

"It's alright Izumi." Again, that word stung when it shouldn't have. I wondered if it was because he stilled called me that, even when he knew it was my real name. Though, it was what I wanted my name to be now, it was what I had thought my name was in this life. But now I had to tell him _her_ name, the name I had buried.

"My… my parents named me April Izumi Kale, I was born in Hartford, Connecticut on June 15th." The words tasted bitter on my tongue and looked away from Kurama's sharp gaze when he frowned. What did he think of me, when I had said that in such a lifeless tone, speaking as if I was dead still.

But wasn't I? Who I had been, was dead, I knew that.

"April? Like the month in English?" His voice sounded confused and a bit interested, but it held no malice like I had thought it might.

"Yeah… Americans use a lot of them for names, all female though. April, June, May, December… " Absently I rubbed my arm thinking back. "When I was little people use to tease me about it, like all kids do." Glancing up at him I saw his face still held a bit of confusion and I raised an eyebrow at him. "What? Don't like it?"

He shook his head, frowning at me. "No. It just… it doesn't suit you." He muttered looking over me as if he were trying to picture me being called by that name. I let out a small laugh, though I found little humor in it.

"No, I guess it wouldn't, not now. It always seemed like such a fragile name, almost delicate. Back then though, before I died, I think it did fit me, at least well enough. I had always liked my name. Back then things were… different."

"Tell me then." Kurama asked, curiosity now whole heartily in his voice. Whatever resentment he might have had for me keeping my real name from him, was over shadowed by his need to know. How could I not tell him the rest now? I nodded my head again before slowly wondering over to the table where I sat on it, instead of the couch. Kurama didn't follow, just turned to face me as I thought and then spoke.

"After me, Damien was born five years later. We grew up close, unlike many siblings; I always had this protective nature towards him. When I turned six, my mother, who had become a high-ranking officer by then, enrolled me in marshal arts, as she would my brother later on. She was always bound and determined to make sure her children knew how to protect them selves, she just didn't know how much that would come in handy later on in my life. I don't think anyone could have. "

"She sounds like an amazing women." Kurama commented as I paused. I smiled looking at him, and couldn't help but agree.

"All mothers are amazing."

"I hadn't thought that you' had training before this life, your skills in it have always been…" He trailed off and I snorted.

"Poor? Yeah I know. I mean I'm not horrible at it, but predicting other people's movements isn't my strong point. Before I died, I made it to Orange Belt though, and by then I had really started becoming proficient in my music, so I guess it took a back seat."

"They must have been proud of you." He commented and I looked away, fidgeting with the hem of my sweater.

"They were." I agreed. "When I was sixteen, a talent scout saw me perform and approached me. He said I was good enough I could probably get into any professional orchestra I wanted if I kept it up. He said I could get a scholarship to college as well, if I wanted that." I sighed; knowing I couldn't keep meandering on my past life much longer, not when I had already reached the point of tell him all of this. I just didn't want to. "My father made a lot of money in his work, so, when I told them about the news, he decided to take the family with him to New York City where he was to attended a business party. That was just one day though, so he figured we'd spend a week there and enjoy the sites. That's where… everything went wrong."

The heard footsteps and then glanced to the side as Kurama sat down next to me. He didn't say anything, but I had a feeling he was trying to comfort me in someway without having to blatantly do it. He knew I didn't want pity, and for that I was thankful.

I just hopped my table could hold the both of us…

"It was three days in to the vacation." I started off. "My parents were at the party so that left me and my brother, who was eleven at the time, to fend for our selves. My parents trusted me, so we had some money and we planned to go to Central Park. There are a bunch of monuments there and I thought it would be good for Damien to see them. We…. We never got there." I paused taking in a breath and closing my eyes as the memory flashed across the darkness of my eyelids like a movie. I had to push down the emotions of that day, locking them behind a door so that I could speak without becoming too upset. "Do you remember hearing about a terrorist attack 6 years ago in America? I'm not sure if it would be broadcasted here or not…"

"I believe I remember teachers talking about it in the halls. They were hushed but fox's do have good hearing." He muttered before seeming to understand my question more then he had at first. "You were there?"

"Yeah." I replied opening my eyes again. "I was right in the middle of it, and so was my brother." I shifted, one of my hands moving and touching his where they laid across his lap, folded. His hands were quick to unfold, and catch my cold one in his, stilling the tremors that had found their way out even if I had tried to stop them. "We were on the subway train, it was pretty crowded, though not many had to stand. I remember looking at the list of stops, trying to figure out which one we needed, when there was a loud bang and a lot of shouting." Damien had grabbed at my hand, squeezing so hard my figures had turned red; I still remembered that grip, so strong for someone so young. "It wasn't till an older man came stumbling into our cart bleeding, that we understood what was going on.

The man had resisted when the men who had taken over the train found a gun on him. I don't understand why they never came for him, but they didn't. I guess they figured it wasn't important. As it turned out, there was an off duty police officer in our cart, he took charge instantly, getting a women to look after the wounded man. There were several children one board, not just my brother and I, and the officer told the remaining women to taken them to the back of the train. We were pretty close to the front.

I don't know why I did it. I guess I just saw that the officer was alone, no one else had stood up to help, and I couldn't just stand by. I refused to go to the back, telling them I had a brother to protect, and that I had training. He refused at first, stating that I was to young, and it was too dangerous, but I didn't let up. I had to protect my brother and at the time, I thought that meant going after the bad guys. I look back on it now and think about how stupid I was, I hadn't known anything."

"You were brave." Kurama said quietly. "Even back then, you put yourself below others to make sure they were safe." He met my eyes, understanding clear in them as his hands tightened around mine. I shook my head.

"It was still stupid. Either way, the officer relented, I'm not sure why, maybe he realized he couldn't do it alone. I had to pry my brother off of me, he'd been crying and still was then one of the women took him with her towards the back.

We headed forward after that, so much of those moments were a blur of surreal scenes. There were two in the cart before the conductor's and we paused there to listen, only to hear that they were planning to use explosives, or at least that's what it had sounded like.

We didn't have time to plan, only to act, and some how I got my frozen legs to move as the officer ran, taking on the two of them so that I could run to the front and stop the train. I was fast, and I got across the car with little trouble…" I had been terrified as bullets and shouting rang through the air like a movie, I still wonder how I had been able to do that. The only thing I had ever come up with was that I had just been too focused on Damian to think about anything else. " When I got to the control room, I found out there was one more man there, making sure the train kept going. The person in change of the train was dead on the ground… there was a lot of blood. I remember staring at it unseeing. I couldn't really… come to terms with it at the time."

"The problem with our world today is that we see so much horror in movie and games that we forget that it does happen in life." Kurama muttered running his hand over mine again. I tried not to think about how he called the Human World his world as well. It still bothered me that he pushed away who he was when he didn't need to. Not really.

"Perhaps." I agreed quietly. "Either way, I don't think I was truly thinking after that. The man was big, much bigger then I, but for the moment he didn't seem to see me there as he was turned the other way, pushing the corps to the side as if it were trash. I found what I needed to quickly and then acted, not giving myself time to think about the danger. I remember running the few feet needed and basically slamming into the lever that stuck out of the ground. The man had turned at the sound but he wasn't quick enough to stop me from pulling the lever down with my weight."

I remembered the shadows that had looked so striking and dangerous around the man. I remember his eyes, the way they had burned like fire-licked coals, and he had looked like the devil himself, the shadows nothing more then his minions of Hell. I remembered the keening screech of the wheels as they stopped turning, spitting out sparks as the brakes bit into them. There had been pain in my hands, I had gripped the lever so hard, and hadn't ever let go of it, not while I was alive.

"…Izumi?" Kurama's voice was hesitant, as if he wasn't sure he should call me that, but it brought me back all the same. I shook my head, and then sighed, bowing it slightly as I continued.

"The subway train stopped and the doors opened, I could hear the people as they went screaming from it. My hands had stayed clamped the lever and I had felt the joy of victor for only a moment, and then it was gone. The man…I remember wondering if he was a demon, a devil of some sorts, he had given me a glare so hot with malice I was sure I was dead right then and there. He had snarled at me, words I can't remember, but it hadn't sounded human and then he wasn't human anymore, his skin ripping apart…"

"He was a demon then?" Kurama asked, though his only reply was a slow nod of my head. "Were they all?"

"No." I gave a small sigh. "The other two were humans, people he had convinced some how to help him." I grasped his lower hand in mine tighter as I thought about those few minutes at the end of my life. I remembered wondering if he had been a werewolf, and then there had been such a bright light. "That's when I met Saitō the very first time." I said off hand, startling the redhead. "Apparently Koenma had been sending in the SDF, but for some reason he couldn't send them through a portal when the target was moving. Once I had stopped it, the portal opened and Saitō and a few others came though, appearing out of no where." I had thought they were angels, sent to save me. Maybe they had been, maybe they were. The SDF were beings that in many ways still confused me. "When the… thing saw them, I guess he realized he was in trouble, and did the only thing he could…"

It played out in my head like a movie again, and I saw the massive clawed hand of the demon glow yellow, getting brighter and bright until I had to look away. My eyes had found the SDF then, and had locked with Saitō's for nothing more then a heartbeat. In that moment – he told me much later – he had been horrified to find a young girl there, clutching at the break lever. He had reacted then, trying to reach out to save me but as everything was that day, he was too late.

Taking in a deep breath I raised my head too look at Kurama and felt as if my next words weight a ton each, crushing whatever reply he might have ever had. "The demon used an energy attack of some sort, and he through it right at the engine of the car we were all in. There was a bright light, and heat… and then I was floating above the wreckage of a crumbled front car." It had still been on fire, the metal warped and broken into pieces, and shrapnel everywhere. I was standing in the middle of the ruin, feet from where I hade been moments ago and wondering what was going on. "It had taken me finding my own remains, or at least part of them for it to sink in.

My body had been ripped and burned to sheds, but somehow one of my hands had still been clutching that damned break."

My apartment was silent again, and I might have thought Kurama were gone if I wasn't staring at him and his hands weren't gripping one of mine. His gaze had shifted from mine, clouded in troubled thoughts. No one ever expect to hear that kind of story, it almost sounded unreal. I wanted to wait for him to really think it though, but I found myself moving on with my story, unable to not finish it as quickly as possible.

"They called me a hero you know. I was on the news for weeks along with the cop that died along with me. I guess he died in the explosion too, when he came to find me. My parents were given my metal, the government gave me the 'Award of Heroism'." I smiled bitterly, remembering how my mother had tried to through it back at the military outfit that had given it to her. She hadn't wanted a metal; she had wanted her daughter back. "I guess if you die for something, saving people is the best way. Because of my actions my brother is still alive and well, or at least that is what Koenma told me last time I asked. Except now some how he's here, caught up in my world, even though I left him and everyone I knew on their own."

Finally, Kurama moved again and he let go with one hand reaching out to touch my face, his fingers skimming over my cheek. "Why would you leave them behind?" He whispered, as if dazed. I gave him a watery smile, knowing he wasn't thinking very straight, either that or he had figured it out and was hoping for a different answer.

"No, I couldn't." I pulled away from him then, slipping my hands free as I stood up once more, a sudden itch in my mind that made me restless and unnerved. I didn't want to talk about this any more. But I had to; I had to finish so he under stood. Turning to look at the redhead he sat on my couch as if waiting for me to continue. I bit my lip, running a hand over my hair, slowly knotting the fingers there. "There was nothing for me to return to Kurama." My hands pulling at my hair, using the pain to deter the grief I felt.

"You aren't making any sense Izumi."

"Honestly?" I sighed, frustrated that I had to say it so plainly. The irony that he had not understood, when he was suppose to be so intelligent was not lost on me. "I told you once Yusuke was lucky. He died by getting hit by a car – his body stayed perfectly in tack; they could say his coming back to life was a miracle, but mine? No. Impossible. My body was ripped into pieces Kurama. The explosion and the shrapnel from the car and the flames… my own arm was blow off." I stopped, taking in a sharp breath through my nose, pulling my hands loose again to rub at the same arm for a moment. "You can't say it's a miracle, if you daughter suddenly comes back to life and her body is suddenly whole again. There was no possible way for me to every come back to life, not for them, not from anyone that had even known me."

I had been so jealous when I had seen how easily Yusuke had gotten his life back. I had hated him for it, when he'd done nothing in his life to truly have need of it back. Why couldn't that have been me as well, I had though to myself.

"Then how are you here?"

His question was expected, even if he hadn't been the curious fox I knew him to be. I couldn't look him the eyes as I spoke; I just stared down at the floor, tracing the wood grain patterns.

"Koenma gave me a choice. Stay dead, or come back to life and help stop events like my death from happening. The only condition was that I could never have any interaction with anyone from my old life. My body, or what they could fine of it was already nothing but ash and buried. Koenma used his powers to make a perfect copy of what those ashes had been. Well almost perfect…"

"Almost perfect?"

I rubbed my arm a bit thinking back to that day. "He said it was because my new body wasn't created naturally. He had the power to make it, just like how we can make two animals breed together, but at the same time nature take something away." I snorted a bit, always feeling a bit of irony at my words. "I'm like a mule, completely infernal. That part of me just doesn't work. " I looked up at him, his shocked face unmasked and as fragile as my open heart. "The reason I'm telling you all of this, is not only because you need to know, but because it's why my brother shouldn't have been on that tape." He already knew I had made a deal with Koenma to keep them safe, and now he knew why I had never talked about them. But he didn't know the severity, what my own sacrifice had truly caused. "The reason this event should be impossible Kurama, is because by coming back to life I gave up ever having family. The one I belonged to was support to continue to believe I died and I will never be able to have one. That was the price I paid in order to live and keep my family safe, and it doesn't seem possible for it to crumble so easily."

"I see…" His voice was firm, calm and callused like normal, but I could hear the small catch in it as he struggled to digest everything. "I never knew Koenma had such a power. I suppose I'm unsure of if it is a gift or a punishment." The creaking of my table told me he stood up and the soft footsteps traveled to me before a hand gently ran over my skull, undoing the clip in my hair that was probably only half in use after all my pulling. The long bags fell down in front of my eyes and he wept them back. "To think you were able to keep this from me so long. I'm so sorry…" he trailed off again unsure and I bit my lip before meeting his gaze.

"Izumi." I muttered. "I…She is still there, somewhere inside of my soul, but I haven't been April in a very long time. Her ghost, her memories, I cling to them yes but… I'm Izumi to everyone here, to you. It's who I want to me for you. I do not think you would have liked April much…"

"You are not that different." Kurama muttered, continuing to comb back my bags with a hand. "Everything that you are is because of who you were. Just from this story, I see piece of who you were, that have made you into who you are now." "You are You, Izumi." He let that statement hang for a moment, long enough for me to nod my head finally in understanding. If I had been up to it, I might have told him much the same, that him being a demon was a part of him, but right now, I wasn't sure I had the will required for such a debate. "For what it is worth, your brother seems well for his circumstance. You cannot simply follow this demons terms."

I shook my head, he didn't understand. This wasn't the Dark Torment with his mother being stalked by a demon. This was my brother and I had a feeling this demon had something against me that was personal; I had caused him pain in one-way or another. He would do much the same to me; cause the same pain to my brother if I did what Kurama said. "I have to find him Kurama. I don't know how, but when that demon makes his demand I will have to meet it." I said quietly, feeling defeated before things had even begun. I was in Check; all that was left was one last move. It was the way his hand froze and stiffened that had me searching his face once more.

His eyes were unguarded in that moment and I'm half stunned to see fear and anger in their forest colored depts. A thin ring of gold is there, more vivid then normal as he catches my meaning. "You will not through your life away. There are other ways to go about this."

"We won't have the time for that, you know that, and I'm not that's stupid, I'll figured something out. I just can't let him die, not because of me. Not after everything he's already gone through." I said quickly, trying to plead with him to understand even as I move his hand from my head to press it to my cheek. "Kurama He's my brother. It's my fault he's in this mess, I have to fix it. I have to. He needs me."

"I need you!" It came out in a snarl, and I find myself frozen in place, his hand had turned harder on my face, his gaze almost more animal then man. I find myself at a loss of words as he takes in a slow, deep breath as if to calm himself, but his green eyes still blaze, the slight ring of gold almost burning away the other color as if it were fire on fresh land. I'm unable to call up any arguments, because I've never seen him like this. His calm demeanor has shattered with his anger and fear and his own sudden words. His hand slowly moves, leaving mine to drop like dead weight to my side and starts threading his into my hair Before I can register was is happened he is pulling my head forward to touch my forehead to his. "I need you." He breathed this time, as if dragging the words from his very soul. "Don't take yourself from me."

It is the ways he says the words that make the mood in the room change. I can't get my mind to work straight even if I know my brother should be the first and last priority right now, but I can't. Because he'd never said such a thing to me, not in those words, not in that way. He needed me, and I couldn't deny the fact that I had always needed him. Perhaps even more so now when my world seems to unsteady, I needed something firm to hold on to. I swallow, wings flapping in my gut at the sudden heat I can feel on his skin, on my skin. It is a feeling I have had many times before, but this time, I can't seem to find reason to ignore it.

"As if I could."

The words are hardly out before he has my mouth. His lips burn against mine and I have no time or thoughts as he slams me back onto the wall a few feet behind me and places his free hand on it near my shoulder. I let myself go then, realizing I can't wallow when all I need is him and his comfort. My hands are everywhere, in his hair, gliding over his neck, pulling at the caller of his shirt. My mouth opens to his and I am lost in the flames and I forget how I got his shirt open, but it is suddenly gone. He pulls away slightly lips on my throat.

"Izumi…" He growls out my name and I gasp, my lungs all but useless. I know he is waiting for me to tell him to stop. His gaze is still heated and his hands are still under the lip of my shirt. I smiled and pushed him backwards, so I can get out from the wall. I can't stop this any more, not after everything, there's nothing in-between us now that he had accepted me for who I really am. I know he has, he doesn't even have to say it. When I kissed him again, I let go of everything else but him, letting it all melt in to the background if only for a little while, knowing for now it was all I could do. When I pull back slight again my words are clipped on breathless lungs.

"Bedroom. Now."

There is a look in his eyes, deeper then lust or want. Its something I've never seen before, and suddenly I know he loves me, even if he can't say it. He followed my command with ease then, his hands on my hips, leading me forward; as he lifted me higher and higher towards infinity.

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><p>Hey, she cant be perfectly moral all the time, lol.<p> 


	14. Chapter 14: Place in the World

**-Pulls out recording from _Mulan_-**

I live!

Well, sort of?

You know I always promised I would never be one of those authors (the ones that leave you hanging!) but look at the date! -facedesk-

Long story short? I got a job that ended up making me really sick ~.~;

Said job has been quiet and I'm doing a little better day by day I think. Not really asking for forgiveness in my disappearance, just explaining. So I hope there still someone out there to read this~

Also, I found an awesome Beta, so this update is partly due to her contacting me, Thanks Ghost!

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><p><strong>Chapter Fourteen: <strong>_Place in the World_

It was an odd sight to see him as such: all smooth skin with scattered red locks left in disarray around him, dark lashes kissing pale skin and a mess of sheets still twisted around his waist. He hadn't moved an inch since I had silently and carefully removed myself to take a shower when the rays of sunlight had woken me. It'd been a taxing act, mostly because I hadn't wanted to move, afraid I would wake him from the state before me.

Unguarded.

Completely and utterly unaware of the world around him, as if he truly felt safe there…in my bed. It was a feeling that left me with a sudden feeling of contentment I hadn't thought possible. I fingered the collar of his button-up shirt – I had pulled it on in a haze of sleepy warmth and then put it back on after my shower because of its smell. I wondered absently if he'd let me keep it; it was long enough on me to be a nightshirt.

Frowning slightly I glanced at the clock and sighed. I should wake him. It didn't matter if we'd been awake most of the night doing…things, we couldn't keep sleeping the day away, not when fear for my brother loomed over me like a waiting storm to shatter a perfect moment.

Slowly, I walked the rest of the way over to my bed and crawled back onto it. I had always thought it a bit silly of me to get a queen size bed – when I'd first gotten here it had been what I was used to from my old life – but now I was grateful for it.

It was like breathing when I interacted with him, so much easier then I would have ever thought. There were no secrets left between us now, and something about that had lifted whatever reservations we might have had.

Pressing my nose to his shoulder blade in a gap between his locks, I nuzzled and then placed a gentle kiss on it, half smirking at the salty taste of his skin. The muscles under my nose twitched to life and his slow even breathing was interrupted by a deeper breath.

Poking my head over his shoulder I smiled slightly when I was met with sleep green eyes. Kurama blinked slightly, still in a daze of sleep, though his hand did lift and trace the frame of my jaw before simply cupping one side of it. His eyes traced my form, over my face, to my still wet hair, to the shirt that hung on my frame and had two button still undone near the top.

"You're beautiful." He said simply, his thumb moving to rub at my cheek. I smiled closing my eyes and leaning into his touch.

"Good Morning to you to." I muttered opening my eyes again. "Did you sleep well?"

His gaze was more focused now; sleep's grip letting go of him as he met my eyes. "Better than I have in years." His lips twitched into a smirk, the ring of gold in his eyes still visible. I wondered if he knew about that. "I'm going to need that back, you know." He pointed out.

I quirked an eyebrow at him, pouting slightly. "You'll get it back before you leave." I teased him, daring him to do something about it because I knew I wanted him to. It was insane. It was stupid. I wasn't some teenager who had just given up her virginity. Saitō had seen that, how easily addicting the euphoria of it all could be for someone so new to it.

This was Kurama though. This was the man I had been in love with for years, the person who's accepted everything about me. He was addicting, he made me forget and lately that's all I wanted to do, even against my own better judgment.

We stared at each other for a whole minute, inches apart, only cloth separating our skin. It was all just too easy, and neither of us really seemed to know in that moment how to stop ourselves. He shifted on the bed and rolled flat onto his back, grabbing at my waist and pulling me over him; in seconds, I was straddling him.

His mouth latched onto mine, an arm keeping him upright and I moaned, my hands already in his hair, tugging, pulling. His free one was everywhere, slipping under his shirt and touching my back. "…Kurama," I whispered against his lips before moving them and nipping his jaw, his neck. It was last night all over again – the wind and lightning in my veins – I bit down on the spot I found hours before and he moaned lowly, nearly growling.

A strong hand pulled my chin up and he kissed me again, hard, open mouth and I nearly collapsed, my shoulder shaking. It was a like having a drug induced high, he made my head swim and I couldn't even think. I was just breathing and touch and loving him all over again. When he pulled back he moved to my ear, biting it and sighing. "I can't get enough of you." He shuttered slightly, one of my hands freed its self from red locks and reached back, skimming his leg. "Never in all of my life…" he continued and grabbed my wandering hand, pulling it in front of me again.

I stopped, looking him in the eyes and I knew he spoke of more than just 18 years in his human body. The heat in my body simmered and I sighed, elated at the look in his eyes. "I love you Kurama, more than you will ever understand, ever know," I whispered resting my forehead to his. "Spirits help me, I would gladly spend the rest of my days right here." But I couldn't, I relented to myself, the dark picture of my brother beaten and bloody shadowing the golden light that swam through my mind, finally pulling my head on straight.

He understood instantly and sat up, easily shifting me into his lap, a hand brushing back my hair. "You are mine," he replied and I couldn't say otherwise because it was true. I was his, had been since we first really spoke in that stupid maze of a house. "At any other time I would take you again, over and over till hunger drove us out." His words sent a shiver up my spine and I moved my head from his and pressed it into his shoulder. His arms caged me there, chin on my head as the weight of what was to come hit us both in that moment. "My need for you is not nearly sated after so much waiting, but we have work to do. I meant what I said last night."

"Yes," I muttered remembering his determined words. I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me, and I would hardly let this, all of this end. I wanted more and that meant I would need to be alive.

We stayed there for a time before I gently slipped from his arms and left the room so he could dress. Making my way into the kitchen I put a pot on for tea and leaned on the counter for a moment, rubbing one bare leg with the other.

I played absently with the too-long sleeve of his shirt, unbuttoning the cuff and then re-buttoning it. My mind kept re-living the night before, every facet of it. My brother, my story, my choices. My heart seized at the thought of Damian in the clutches of a demon, and after I had done so much to prevent it. I knew I would do what ever it took to get him back, but afterwards? I wasn't sure where I stood any more, for the first time since I'd come back to life, I felt resentment towards Spirit World. Maybe it was time I thought about closing that chapter of my life, but how did one even do such a thing, when that is all you have ever known?

I pushed that thought aside, my mind drifting to other things, happier things. Thoughts that left a warm pool in my gut and made me smile. Every touch, every word, every sound and taste. It was enough to tempt me to go back into my room, push him back into bed and forget again.

Because I loved him.

It was the kind of life I had dreamed about before I had died; one I hadn't expected to ever have in this one. He hadn't said those – not aloud anyway – but I had felt it, seen it in his eyes when he'd looked at me. He was just waiting for the right moment to tell me, and I knew it wasn't such an easy thing for him, to truly let someone in.

Hands on my shoulders woke me from my thoughts as a nose buried itself in my wet hair and breathed in. His hands slid down and captured mine, making me stop in my fidgeting. I leaned into him and sighed, closing my eyes.

"I wish every morning was like this." I whispered, for he wasn't the only one who had slept so soundly. He shifted, the fabric of his pants brushing my bear calf as he moved to kiss the back of my neck for a moment.

"Soon."

It was all he said on the matter, but it left me warmer than before, a spark of hope that could light a fire. "What do I smell like to you?" I wondered out loud as he pulled back slightly, pressing his nose to my scalp again.

"You," he answered quickly, before pausing in thought. "The forest after a heavy rain, clover and river water," he muttered finally, squeezing my hands. "Why did you want to know?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly, sighing. "I guess I've always wondered if I smelled weird, because this really isn't the body I was born in." It was hard to explain, because it felt like my body, but I knew it wasn't. My body – April's body – had been blown to pieces, this one had been made, and while it was a mostly functioning body...

"Were you truly so different before?" he mused, and I found it a bit weird that we could talk so easily of my past life after just telling him the truth. It was easy, just like everything else was with him.

"A little. Certainly not as different as you are in your demon form," I quipped and regretted it when he tensed slightly. I wished he would stop denying himself, like the way I had been doing, like I still did in many ways. He didn't have to, not like I did. "My hair was shorter – my mom had wanted me to grow it out, she always liked my hair – I guess that's why I have never really cut it." He pulled back slightly, letting go of one hand so he could look at me. "I wore glasses too. My eyesight had been horrible from day one, but Koenma fixed that when he gave me this body. That's about it though; I didn't really want to look different. Thought I knew I should have, I couldn't do it."

I often wondered if I had been given the chance to think about it, if I would have changed my appearance. Surely having blond hair in Japan was a sore thumb in itself, but it helped my story in the end, people believed I was American, because I was American.

"Glasses?" Kurama muttered, puzzled, and I giggled.

"I'm afraid I'm as guilty as Kaito for pulling that 'pushing glasses up in a cool mysterious fashion' thing."

His laugher echoed through my ear that was pressed to his chest and I winced slightly, pulling away. His free hand was pressed over his eyes as he laughed, almost as if he found the entire thing ridiculous.

He probably did.

I never got to ask though; as the whistle for the tea put sounded, and I pulled away completely, fetching two cups. As I poured the tea Kurama pulled out his phone and smiled at me as it buzzed in his hand. His mother then, because he moved to answer it, leaving the room. I was rather sure if it had been anyone else he would have ignored it.

I couldn't hear him clearly between the walls that hid him, not without Kuronue's powers, but he was talking fast, and for some reason it didn't sound right. I might have thought he was rushing to get back to me, but he never rushed with me, he knew I would be here. I had just finished our tea and taken my first sip, when he came back into the room, his content, happy face shattered with a look of worry.

My hands tightened around my cup. "Kurama…?"

He walked over and shook his head slightly. "That was mother," he started his hand reaching out to touch the cup meant for him, but not picking it up. "My step-father had to be taken to the hospital last night." He was so calm about it, though I certainly reacted enough for him, my back straightening and panic contorting my face. I didn't know the man well, but he had been very nice the few times we'd been together in a room. "He has pneumonia… the flu he had got worse, he's stable but she's been there all night and morning. Kokoda is at school, she made him go."

I nodded slowly, remembering that awful sound of a cough from days ago when I'd first found out the older man was sick. "He must be on pins and needles, poor kid." I cared for the younger boy more than I could have thought I would, but the snowball fight had been a bonding experience and he was so close to Damien's age… it had been easy, just like caring about his older brother.

"Yes," Kurama replied, before finally picking up his cup. "I will need to head to the hospital soon and then pick him up after words. My mother doesn't want him going home alone."

"I can do that," I offered quickly, without even thinking about it. Kurama raised an eyebrow, surprised and I smiled slightly. "You should stay with your mom, she needs support right now, and with the time it would be silly for you to make so many trips." After all, we'd slept most of the day away. "I'm gong to go to Spirit world… talk to some people, start looking for my brother. I can get Kokoda and bring him to you guys. I don't mind…"

Kurama smiled at me, pleased but I saw the concern for me in his eyes. "We will find him Izumi," he promised, and I nodded once more.

"I know, but right now, you should take care of your family… they are kind of like my family too… so I don't mind." They were, I realized suddenly. It had been years, over half a decade since I'd felt the touch of a parent, and Shiori treated me much like a mother would.

"I am pleased to hear that." His hand moved over to pet my hair again. "I will need my shirt back though." There was a laugh in his words, and I knew he knew I had been hoping to keep it. It seemed I liked his smell just as much as he liked mine.

I narrowed my eyes at him half tempted to start something, but knew it wasn't the time. That was over, at least for now. Reality waited for no one. I sighed, putting my cup down. "Alright, I'll go get dressed." With that, I left him in the kitchen and stripped off the last of a memory I would soon not forget.

Spirit world did little to easy any of the tension in my mind, because once there I realized one thing: I had no idea how to even start. Koenma did what he could, sending out the soul reapers to search around the city and nearby places. That was all he could do.

There were no leads, no scent or energy to follow.

So, with anger in my veins I'd left Spirit World, not even bothering to see how Saitō was doing. Kuronue had been quiet the entire time for the most part. He was staying calm for the both of us. It helped keep me grounded as I flew over the city, gliding around buildings. I wasn't even sure what to look for. I just felt I had to be looking.

Damien. _Damien_. _**Damien**_.

His name throbbed in my skull as I landed on a high rooftop and peered out over the city. The sidewalks below were full of people going on with their lives. I scrunched my nose slightly and turned from the edge, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"_This is getting us nowhere."_ I thought with a heavy sigh. Kuronue hesitated in answering and I could feel him debating on comforting me or being honest. He chose the later.

"_We don't really have much we can do right now. The demon has us pinned down; my guess is he's hoping you'll do this. He wants you to suffer and feeling helpless is just that."_

I grimaced, knowing he was right. _"You're not helping,"_ I shot back at him, rubbing my arm. Thankfully Kuronue hadn't asked much about what had happened last night and I tried to keep my mind away from it as much as I could. Even if I would never take it back, that didn't mean I wanted to watch my best friend suffer. "What should I do then?"

"_Keep a positive mindset,"_ he suggested. _"Don't let your life stop moving because of this."_

"_How can I? He's my brother!" _To even think of going on without him.

"_-And the best thing you can do for him at the moment is keep a level head. Think about it, if you try to keep your life going the demon will lose interest in waiting that much quicker. " _

I let out a low sigh before a rumble in my pocket caught my attention. I pulled out my newly acquired cell phone and flipped it open. It was a texted from Miyumi. I hadn't seen her since the day I'd picked up my fixed violin and we'd signed up for auditions at a theater down town. Opening the message, I found it was concerning just that.

"**You ready for the auditions this weekend? I'm so nervous!"**

I blinked at the message and then sighed feeling the smug energy from my partner. He was right, life did keep moving, even if I was in the middle of a panic. I'd almost forgotten about the whole thing really, and it was in two days. I shrugged slightly, knowing I couldn't back out. Using my thumb I messaged her back.

"**You bet, and you're always nervous. We'll both blow them away, no worries!"** It felt nice to have a part of my life that was normal, even if it was so tiny I often forgot it was there.

Closing my phone I slipped it back into my pocket and turned back to the building edge again. I would just have to keep on going. Kuronue was right about that much, and making myself sick with worry wouldn't do my brother any good.

Glancing at the sun and taking note of the position it was in the sky I realized it was just about time to pick up Kokoda. Vaulting from the roof, my wings caught the wind and I soared onward, leaving the middle of the city and heading towards the younger kid's school


	15. Chapter 15: Resolve

Chapter Fifteen: Resolve

The repaired violin sat in my lap looking as worn as I felt. While the splintered wood had been glued back together and then re-stained, a trained eye could still see the damage. The jagged lines ran down the whole neck and into the beginnings of the face, tapering off like smoke from a candle. It seemed to reflect myself really, the broken pieces of my past life pieced back together and hidden well enough to fool most people.

I had been broken, and repaired, and now it was the people and the ties in this life that kept me glued together. Taking a deep breath I listened quietly to the sound of a piano playing a few yards away on a stage. The very stage I would be stepping onto in only a few more minutes.

It had been a long time since I had been on a stage. A metaphorical one? No problem, I did that almost every day, but a real one? I remember in my life as April I'd spent most of my life on stage; the very violin in my lap was the masterful tool that won me contests, got me into bands, and had given me the power for a scholarship to college. That had been a long time ago though, and now I wasn't sure how I would do. In the back of my mind Kuronue tried to calm my nerves with his own mellow attitude. It wasn't working.

The people near the front of the stage – other performers waiting for their turn – kept looking at me, whispering when they thought I wasn't looking. It had been a long time since I'd been in this predicament. We were in a different section of Tokyo than I live in. It had been a 30-minute bullet train ride to get there; a long enough distance so that the people who lived around here weren't used to seeing me.

It was the first day of school here in this country all over again. It could have been worse, I reasoned out. I was half Japanese and as such I did have some Asian qualities to me – the shape of my eyes, my relatively small chest size – but my height and blond hair normally flagged me as a foreigner. What was the word they had for it? _Gaijin_. Outsider. I rolled my eyes, dismissing the thought before Kuronue could even say anything to try to make me feel better. Let them think what they will. I knew where I belonged, and no uptight racial standard would change that.

…Didn't I?

"You alright?" Hiroki asked and I glanced up to him. He was leaning on the wall next to the bench I sat on, a leather coat over his tattooed shoulders. We had become friends simply out of necessity, as Miyumi had almost demanded it. He was a good guy, something I hadn't really expected from a guy who spent his days inking people. He followed my gaze as I glanced to a group of whispering young adults, and scowled. "To think people can get so bent out of shape over color. Don't let it bother you; they won't do anything with me here."

I was reminded at that moment that I wouldn't be going up completely alone. While I was auditioning, Hiroki had agreed to do background guitar for the piece I was doing. He was talented, not only with the guitar but also with the piano. I had been stunned silent the one time I'd heard him play.

Too bad he had turned down being a professional.

"I'm okay," I replied, running a hand over the strings of my violin. I had other things to worry about besides petty gossip. "Miyumi did a great job, I don't think they'll have much of a choice to not pick her." Changing the subject was the easiest way to keep us both off of unwanted topics. Topics like how my worry wasn't really about the performance or the whispers, but about my brother. My little brother who was at this very moment caged by a demon who had a grudge against me for something I had done years ago.

"Can't argue with you there, but you're really good too, so relax. You've got this." Hikori have me thumbs up and I nodded my head again, eyes wandering to the seating in the auditorium where people sat and watched. Most were other performers hoping for a new job like myself, but some were there to support their friends and family. I spotted Miyumi - she'd taken a seat after performing – sitting next to Kuwabara who had come to support me. Kurama was still dealing with family issues concerning his stepfather. The poor man was really sick and Shiori spent all her time worrying, which of course made my favorite redhead worry too.

It had been a very long last few days. While Kurama and I took turns escorting Kokoda from school, I had done as Kuronue had said, keeping my searching to a minimum, only calling Koenma once a day. There were still no leads, no clues to where they were or even who the demon was. I'd spent hours rethinking over every event that had happened during the 'Chapter Black Case' – as they were calling it – that could have spurred this kind of reaction.

I'd come up with two options. I'd dealt blows to two different demons during the fight to save my world. The first of which being the poisonous succubus demon I'd fought the night my seal broke, Umeko. That fight had almost cost not only my life, but had nearly torn my chance with Kurama to pieces. She was dead; I knew that much, as Koenma had confirmed her soul passing on. It was possible her reasons for crossing over had been more than they had appeared. She may have had ties from demon world, someone who had seen her death as worth avenging.

My second option was the demon known as Itsuki. I'd never met him personally but I remember his reaction to me trapping Sensui's female personality in my Under Hell power. He hadn't been happy and I'd later learned the demon had been Shinobu's love of sorts. Last record of him had been him leaving with his leader's body to a different dimension. Had he finally come back for revenge then?

"Next up, Izumi Takara. Will Izumi Takara come to the stage please?" A female voice sounded over the intercom and I sighed, standing up, violin in hand. I took a moment to smooth my black pants out and straighten my green dress shirt. Kuronue's pendant thrummed at my collarbone as I looked to my assistant. Hikori smirked and shoulder his guitar, waiting for me to lead the way. I did, turning and walking the small distant to the stage, stepping up onto it, my dress shoes making more noise than I was used to. Hikori moved father back and sat down on a stool, readying his instrument.

I took a deep breath and looked forward, the three directors for the show mere feet from that stage in the first row. One, a women with a mic near her – probably the one that had called my name – gave me a signal to start when ready.

"Good Luck," Kuronue muttered in my head, his calming presence cooling my nerves. Even after everything, even after figuring out what had accrued between Kurama and I less than a week ago, I could still count on him to be there for me. He was the best friend in the world, and I would always have his support, no matter my choice. I took in another deep breath and moved my violin to my shoulder, raising the bow. "You can do this."

The first note rang out, long and high, soon followed by many more in the same fashion. The song I had picked – The Butterfly – had a soft, slow beginning, that eased the listener in before jumping up its pace. Hikori began his part in the background and my fingers danced on the neck of my violin. Just like that the world faded away, my troubles vanished, and all that was left was the music, the cheerful story it told, and my dancing hands.

I had missed that feeling…the gentle vibration on my fingers, the euphoric trance the notes brought me…. It was a short piece, and far too soon, my bow strung the last note and my arms relaxed, my eyes seeing the world once more. Gentle clapping came after and I heard Kuwabara whistle farther back, making a smile spread against my lips. I had been surprised when the teen had asked to come, but now I was glad he was here. I'd forgotten how much joy performing for others brought me, even more so when friends were there.

The directors all nodded and clapped, jotting down notes on their clip boarded papers. I left the stage with Hikori quickly, grabbing my case and packing my violin away. With my audition over we could leave, and Kuwabara had said he wanted to hang out afterwards. It wasn't something I use to doing, but I had no reason to stay; we wouldn't know until after Christmas who got in or not.

"Told you." Was all Hikori said and I snorted slightly and followed him up to where the other two of our group waiting near the exit. Once there I was given praise and Miyumi hugged me.

"We are both going to get in, I can feel it." Her confidence was something deserved and I couldn't help but agree with her. We went our separate ways after that, and I waved to the couple as they parted from Kuwabara and myself. Once they were gone, we turned back to head towards his place. The snow was still thick on the ground, and I wished I had my boots then, as my feet were already getting soaked again.

"Looks like it will be a white Christmas," I commented off hand, reminded that the day was coming up. I'd barely finished shopping and now it was only two days away. The streets were covered in lights and large ornaments that reflected the setting sun.

"Yeah, hope Kurama's family can still have their party. Sucks that his step-father got sick during the holidays." Kuwabara kicked at the snow, spraying it forward as he shoved his hands into his coat pockets.

"Kurama said he was being discharged tonight if things go alright. I saw them yesterday, the old man has some color back in his skin." It was one of the reasons Kurama wasn't presently around. He'd promised his mother he'd look after her husband while she was at work. I would see him tonight after everything was settled, we'd had little time to spend together alone and I missed him.

"You're getting clingy," Kuronue teased, a smirk in his voice. I rolled my eyes.

"I am not. I'm just worried." Kurama did have a tendency to over whelm himself with responsibility.

"That's good to hear," Kuwabara replied and I easily turned myself back to that conversation. "You having any luck?" his voice was quiet, not wanting other to hear it as we passed a group of girls. Kuwabara knew what was going on, I'd asked him to keep an eye out seeing as his senses were so sharply tuned. He didn't know everything, but he knew my brother was missing, and it was because of a demon. That was all he really needed to know.

"Not yet." I sighed, eyes down cast as we turned a corner and I spotted his home in the distance. "Thanks for keep an eye out though."

"Hey, no problem. I've got your back Izumi."

I smiled, once again reminded that the boy next to me was never truly given the respect and praise he deserved. He was no demon, maybe not even really a warrior, but he was a guy with the biggest heart I have ever known. Life would certainly be less colorful without him in it.

We traveled up the stairs in silence for a while, reaching his floor easily. I was in a hurry to get there; his apartment would be warm and I had a change of clothes waiting for me. My anticipation was probably why I didn't sense something was off until Kuwabara suddenly grabbed my shoulder, stopping me from reaching the door. I looked to him confused, and saw his suddenly serious expression moments before the shock of demonic energy registered to me. Kuronue growled in the depts of my mind and I stiffened.

Just like that my somewhat normal life bled back into the world I knew.

There was a demon in Kuwabara's apartment, and as far as I knew, his sister was supposed to be home. His hand dropped quickly and I nodded my head as his bright orange sword flickered to life in it. I flicked my own hand, a warm pulse of energy coming from Kuronue's pendant and a moment later the weight of one of his scythes appeared. I clenched the metal, chain shuddering slightly as I moved it to my other hand, creating a defensive line in front of myself.

Kuwabara opened the door quickly and we both slipped in side, shutting it silently behind us. The lights were on in the apartment, and if not for the demonic energy soaking the air, it would have felt as comforting as it always had to me. Forgoing taking off our shoes, we made our way towards the source in the living room, weapons ready.

We found it perched on the couch; it was human in form with dark green hair pulled back in a low braid. It was a he, his bare chest completely uncovered while his arms were wrapped in cloth and his face was cover in a ninja like mask over his mouth and nose. Almost comically he raised a finger to where his lips would be in a sign to being quiet. My eyes quickly flicked down to where his other hand held a long knife, the tip of it resting on Shizuru's neck. The young women appeared to be knocked out, her eyes shut and relaxed.

Kuwabara stiffened beside me, and he scowled. "Get away from my sister," he growled, but didn't move forward from where we had both stopped, only feet away. Slowly, I raised the hand holding the chain to rest on the side of his arm, just in case. The demon let out a small, low chuckle.

"Glad to know you're not too stupid," he mused, whiteless black eyes staring at us. "I would hate to scar this pretty little thing's skin up." It was a lie; he seemed almost itching to do it, from what I could see.

"What do you want?" It was a simple question, but the venom in my voice was more than a warning. Kuronue hissed and I was reminded of the sound bats make when angry. A jarring, high pitched sound. The demon's eyes slid to me and I could almost see him smirk under his mask, see his thin lips nearly disappearing as they stretched.

"I want nothing…I am simply here to deliver a message for you, Soul Detective," he snarled my title, clearly disgusted, and my gut curled in to a ball at his words. There had been a part of me that had thought it might be my fault, but I hadn't really had the time to ponder it. Kazuma shifted next to me, his eyes flickered from the demon to his sister, and then to me. He seemed to understand what was going on in moments as well.

It would seem my endless, agonizing wait was over.

"Deliver it then, and I might let you live."

The demon scoffed at my threat, knowing it was a bluff as well as I did. I couldn't do anything, not with such a good friend under his thumb. None of my abilities worked in the moment of need. They all took time, planning, and with the way the demon was watching me there was little I could do. I just hoped he let her go once he was done.

"Very well. Come to Central Park after sunset. You'll find your brother there, all you have to do to save him is hand yourself over to my leader." The demon looked down at Shizuru for a moment. "He's being too generous really, I would have killed the boy… but it's not my call."

My mind spun. Anger and worry and fear twisted around me like a snake. I had to stay calm, I told myself. He was alive; let that keep my resolve in place. "Fine." The words were a snap of my jaw before it clenched tightly shut again. The demon nodded, and slowly, he raised his blade from the neck of the older women.

"Simple enough. Now, I will take my leave-"

Orange light flashed, blinding the room for a moment as I winced away from it, closing my eyes for only a moment. The sound that followed was a low yelp accompanied by a thud, and then the bright light faded, and I blinked, shocked. There, pinned to the other side of the room was the demon, blade scattered on the floor, with Kazuma's energy blade ripping a hole through his chest. Kuwabara hadn't moved from where he stood at my side, but his sword had grown and lengthened at a speed I had not known he had.

Then again, it had been a long time since I had seen the boy fight.

The demon twitched, dark blood pooling on the floor around him, but his black eyes were already lightless. He was dead in moments, a look of pure shock on his face; it was quite possible he had no idea that the human standing next to me had powers. A mistake on his part. The teen made a foul sound in his throat and the sword faded from existence, the demon falling limp to the ground.

"No one tries to hurt my sister," he grumbled, and then left me where I stood to check on his sibling. I sighed, hands relaxing and the scythe disappearing, and I walked over, scanning her for any signs of injury. She seemed to be just asleep; it was possible the demon had even found her that way. At least she would be okay.

My eyes flickered up to a window, catching the sun as it dipped half way below of the land. Sunset. I had about a half hour before the time in which the demon spoke up. A short amount of time to plan and prepare to get my brother back. I bit my lip, mind melding with Kuronue's as we tried to come up with something. This wouldn't be like what had just happened. I had time now. I could formulate something. It was clear the demon wanted me, not just my brother. A trade. My brother's freedom for mine. Minutes ticked by as Kuwabara moved his sister to her room, and I put the final pieces into place, my mind set.

"Izumi?" his voice is concerned as it reaches me from behind where I stood. "Maybe we should call Kurama." A thought I had already thought of and dismissed. I sighed and shook my head.

"No. His family needs him, much like mine needs me now." I knew Kurama had said he would help me get Damian back, but I couldn't do that to him now. I could handle this. Turning I looked at the teen and gave a small smile. "I could use your assistance though. I have a plan." I almost rolled my eyes at my own words; I sounded like some cheesy drama on TV.

Kuwabara snorted crossing his arms. "Like I would let you leave without me. A man doesn't leave his friends in their time of need!" Yep, cheesy drama for sure. Though he smiled, I saw the serious focus in his eyes, and quickly brushed my thoughts away, getting back on track.

"Right. Here's what I think we should do."

My explanation took a good fifteen minutes, but by the time we left his apartment my blood was simmering with anticipation that wouldn't fade - even as we reached the entrance to the park, and Kuronue's power swirled around me, fueled by deadly anger as I took in all of his power - even as my hair turned black, my sight sharpened, and wings grew upon my back. Kuwabara looked impressed but I took little note of it, the bat demon's hat shading my face as I looked up upon the sky where the moon slowly replaced the sun.

I had one goal, and only one: get back Damian at any cost. There was little doubt of the outcome - not with two good friends backing me up and a plan set in motion.

This demon would pay, and before the night was over, my life would return to normal. I would make sure of that.


	16. Chapter 16: Soul Detective

**Chapter Sixteen:** _Soul Detective_

The entry gate to the park loomed over me like the gates of hell; the ice and snow draped over it, illuminated by the rising moon, made me believe that such a place must have been a frozen wasteland. For if Hell were a place of burning fire, wouldn't one's suffering be over quickly? It is the ice that slowly bites at you, taking away feeling, touch, and hope as your very soul is seemingly sucked dry of energy.

It was a good thing my energy – or rather Kuronue's – would have thrived in such a place, for isn't darkness cold? I couldn't tell really, for one who wields it as their own can hardly feel its grasp.

I let out a low sigh, my breath seen in the air like a ghost as I turned to look at my friend, the dark color of my hair catching me slightly off guard once again. It was something a bit hard to get use to really, but something I would have to ignore. "Time's up…we should go." My brother was waiting, somewhere farther beyond it, the claws of a demon wrapped around him in a cage of fear. Kuwabara gave a sharp nod and moved forward, but I stalled, biting my lip. "Kazuma?" The boy paused, surprised at my use of his first name. My heart clenched; I should use it more often. "If something about this goes wrong, you'll make sure Damien gets home, right?" It was a selfish question, one asked out of fear even when I was so sure my plan would work.

The boy blinked, and while I was sure we would become serious, as so many did as times like these, he didn't. Instead, a grin appeared on his face, sending a tremor of shock down my spine. "There's no reason for it though. You're a total badass Izumi—a badass hero come to save the day, and the hero always wins."

I was dumbfounded, staring bewildered at him like he was crazy. "How do you do that?"

Kuwabara blinked. "Do what?"

"Say something like that, and have so much belief behind it?" It was like he spoke with the words and the hope that only those who have never seen the world for what it really was can say. Yet, he had seen the world for what it was; he'd fought in it, almost died because of it. He saw his friends face their demons, their past, seen them die, yet…yet somehow he kept that joyful innocence as if we could step so easily away from it, as if he were still truly the age he was.

I had lost that the day I had died, as had Yusuke – though it had taken him twice. Kurama and Hiei had never had that, being born as demons in a world that didn't allow it.

"Oh, I don't know," Kuwabara grumbled sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I guess because I like to believe in the best possible outcome, no matter what. How can it happen if you don't believe in it, ya know?" He grinned at my face. "I mean, isn't that what you kind of are? I can't think of anything more amazingly impossible than a demon and a human with such a close bond that I can't even tell them apart. It's the best outcome, at least I think so." He paused, eyes tightening slightly, "But, if it makes you feel better, I promise I'll get him home, k?"

I smiled, wanting nothing more than to hug the big softy, but knew it wasn't the time or the place for such an action. "Thanks." I took a step forward and then for the briefest of moment I doubted myself, I wondered if I should call Kurama. There was still time…

_"It's better this way,"_ Kuronue muttered in my head. _"You're making the right choice. He sealed away most of his power, I'm not sure he'd be a match for the demon. We have to assume he's powerful if he somehow got into Human World."_

He was right, of course he was. I hated to think about it but Kurama's choice put me at a higher chance of protecting us than he did. It was his choice though; I would never go against that. It just meant there were things I had to do without him.

Taking a deep breath I walked under the gate and into the park with Kuwabara tailing me. Some how the park lights seemed colder than the ice and snow they lit up, and my combat boots bit into the earth with every step. I was past the point of no return now; it was best to keep my eyes and ears sharp.

It didn't take as long as I thought it might to find the demon; he wasn't really hiding himself or his energy, he just wasn't flaring it so only people nearby would have felt it. He stood at one of the forking paths, his back to a light a few feet behind him, casting a sharp shadow that pointed back at me as I approached. He was tall with shaggy dark blue hair that curled around his ears and two unmistakable horns on the sides of his head. They were pale, the color bleached out by his surroundings. His black scaled tail and heavy armor on both his shins and forearms were all I really needed to pin down who he was.

I stopped a few feet from him and Kuwabara came to a halt slightly behind me, watching my back. I narrowed my eyes at the demon, anger building when I didn't see my brother. "I guess Umeko wasn't alone after all," I said flatly, fishing when I knew I'd already hooked my prize. The demon's eyes narrowed, but he didn't growl nor did anger appear on his face. He was calm, stony almost.

"She did," his voice was just as hard if ever so slightly conversational. "You don't seem surprised."

"There were only so many people it could have been given the time line." I scanned over him only again, taking in the features that Umeko had worn if only in a different color. Was he an acid user as well? "She was family then? It would make sense, seeing as you took my family." The last words came out in a snarl, my anger ripping out even as Kuronue chastised me.

He snorted, a small sneer on his face then. "I suppose you are a detective after all, any less would make me question the title. Umeko was my sister; I thought it only fitting to bring your brother into this." He moved his eyes, shifting them behind me and I felt Kuwabara tense slightly. "I see you brought help."

"I brought insurance to make sure you keep your end of the bargain," I argued taking a step forward. "Where is Damien?" I had to make sure my brother was alright before I went through with this. The demon snorted again before lifting a hand and seeming to brush at something in the air. The wind picked up and quiet suddenly something came off of the ground, light and flimsy like cloth. A wind demon…? His coloring threw me off but then again Jin hadn't looked the part either.

Turning my attention to what had been revealed, I tensed when my eyes focused. What I had thought was another mound of snow in the shadows off to the right of the demon had in fact been a cover of some sorts. With it gone I could now clearly see the shape of a person slumped over. My demonic empowered eyes saw more than I could have on my own. I saw the rise and fall of Damien's chest, but his eyes were shut and his hands were bound. Much like in the video his clothes were in pretty bad shape and a few cuts and bruises littered the skin I could see.

He was alive, but his state of being wasn't something I was too happy with.

"I thought it best that he was asleep for this. Don't need him seeing his sister die again, do we?" A grin touched the demon's face as I gave him a deadpan expression. If he knew what I did for a living it wasn't too much of a long shot to assume he also knew how one became a Soul Detective. How? I had no clue, but the how hardly mattered now. Running a clawed hand through his blue hair the demon tilted his head slightly. "Now, how should we go about this little exchange? I hardly need your friend trying to be a hero." As he spoke, he started walking to the side, making an arching path and putting a good distance between himself and my brother. "How about you come over here first and then he can move. Oh, and be a dear and throw those little weapons of yours away would you. I want them on the ground, not where ever they go when you're not using them."

I frowned, Kuronue growing lowly in my head as I glanced back at Kuwabara. The older teen gave a sharp nod, his face worried but brave, determined. I could count on him to do his part. Facing the demon again, I slowly as to not catch any confusion in my actions, took both my chained scythes in hand. Looking down at them, the cold metal biting at my hands I let out a smile sigh. With no real goal in mind I threw one and then the other to the side in different directions, not caring to see where they landed.

The demon seemed pleased. "Good little girl. Now come over here. If I catch you reaching for that pendant your brother will be dead before you can do anything." He certainly knew a lot about my powers, I noted as I started forward, my arms slack at my sides. He'd taken a lot of care in what he allowed me to do. I stopped in front of him, hardly a foot between us and frowned at him. He simply eyed me quietly and started speaking again, his eyes never leaving me. "You can go over now boy."

I couldn't turn to watch as Kuwabara made his way over to my brother, but I heard his footfalls on the snow as I stared down the demon in front of me. After a few moments there was a larger crunch that I could only assume was Kuwabara kneeling down next to Damien.

"He looks alright Izumi!" he called out and then grunted, probably picking the younger boy up. There were more foot steps and then he must have traveled back to his original spot because the world went quiet again. The demon made a small sound of approval his eyes darting away for a moment before nodding slightly.

"You're free to go if you wish I suppose…. You really should thank me Izumi, its not as if I was given the chance to choose to give my life to save Umeko's." His eyes were back on mine before he was done talking, but I didn't hear Kuwabara move to leave. I knew he wouldn't even if I told him too. There was no way he would leave me alone to face this.

"I'm not going to thank you," I said evenly, my chest tightening with anxiety. The demon rolled his eyes slightly before raising a clawed hand and grabbing my chin.

"Oh, I know. You're too proud to ever do such a thing; it is enough that you have made yourself defenseless." My skin stung, his claws slicing into it as he tightened his grip and curled his fingers. "Now, how do I wish to start?"

I had figured as much. While I had not wanted to, Umeko's death hadn't been very quick at first. My anger had gotten the better of me and I'd let her burn in her own powers until she was past agony before ending her. No doubt her brother was the same on me.

"I did try to give your sister a chance you know," I said off hand, buying myself just a little bit of time, playing the part of a fearful captive. "I didn't want to kill her, I tried to get her to leave. She didn't listen and then she made the mistake of hurting someone I cared about."

"So I was told," he said flatly and then yanked my chin forward; his claws cutting across more of my jaw line as I took a small step forward, closing the distance between us. He was taller than me, his mouth inches from my hairline as he spoke. "Do you know why she couldn't do that little girl? She'd made a deal with that other detective, the one trying to get the barrier down. If she killed you…he'd have gotten me through first." His breath was hot on the side of my face. "She just wanted her family back after being trapped on the other side, away from them for so long. I'm sure you can relate." While there was no acid in his veins like his sister there certainly was in his tone.

I would have nodded, had his hand not been gripping my face, blood dropping down on to it from my cuts. I could feel Kuwabara's nervous tension behind me. He wanted so badly to step in, but he couldn't. He knew better. It wouldn't last much longer anyway; I'd gotten my answer. I'd wanted to know why, and now I did. A part of me couldn't fault the demon in front of me

"I can," I said quietly and blinked—a snap of energy and then a sickening squish, like plunging a knife into a rotting vegetable. The demon lurched, his hand tightening impossibly on my chin once more, eyes wider now, and blue just like his hair. His mouth opened slightly, a hitching breath coming out as I spoke again. "I'm sure she would have done anything to get you back, just as I must now."

There was another squishing sound and then a sharp rip and the demon shuddered, blood flowing over pale lips. "Wh…" his voice was swallowed in a gurgle and then his hand fell from my face along with his body as he crumpled to the ground, pushing snow back in clumps as he did so.

Under the cold light of the street lamp above I could see the perfect three inch line slit in the demon's bare chest to the right of his sternum. I glanced down to the right arm where it still hung at rest and followed the sharp angled piece of cloth that jutted out, blood still dripping from a rather sharp point.

As if I had needed my weapons or my pendent for this. The demon had done well to look into my powers, but he hadn't figured everything out. After all, the animated puppets that acted as my armbands didn't need my words to work, just my thoughts and the smallest amount of demonic energy to spur them to life. The blood runes inlaid on them did the rest.

I'd made it quick at least, commanded it to harden and sharpen like a blade and then drive it's self diagonally through the demon's chest, wrap around his spinal core – vertebra included – and rip it apart. It had been a lot faster then what he had planned for me, of that I was sure.

Letting my hold on the puppet go, the fabric instantly shivered and went slack and I looked to the demon's body once more as I wrapped the arm band once more back into place. Blood was already pooling around him, cooling as it melted the snow. I'd need to call Koenma and get someone out here to clean this up and get my brother back home.

_"Well done," _was all Kuronue said, but I could feel the beaming pride through our bond and smiled slightly. Only a demon would be proud of a friend for killing someone so brutally.

The crunch of snow alerted me to someone running and I turned abruptly, my back to the corpse, my mind trying to come up with a story for who ever was coming into the park. Kuwabara, who had moved and leaned my brother against one of the many trees close to him, looked just a tad worried.

When the person got closer I caught their scent and felt myself relax slightly as Kuronue rolled his eyes. _"Of course."_

Kurama came into view moments later, his red hair and orange coat striking against the white and gray world. He stopped when he neared Kuwabara, spotting him first before turning and meeting my gaze. We were still a good ways apart and for a moment he looked as if he were staring at a ghost. Perhaps he was, given my currently form.

"Izumi?" He sounded bewildered, probably a pretty good reaction to seeing his former best friend in front of him with the same body shape as his girlfriend. I gave him a small smile and waved slightly, surprised as well to see him there.

"Kurama…I…how are you…" I trailed off not sure how to go about asking him why he was there without sounding ungrateful. I had after all excluded him from all of this.

He smiled at me and started walking over.

"Of course I'm here. When I felt your energy rise from across town…I figured it out rather quickly. You should have called." He looked around, frowning and I wondered what he was looking for. "Where is the demon?"

I jabbed a finger behind me at the body and smirked. "In spirit world by now I'm guessing. It was rather easy…honestly I am a bit disappointed." To think the demon had thought he'd beaten me so easily. Looking back on it now it had been so easy to fool him. Anger and obsession were often things that made people think less rationally, a tip I had picked up from Kuronue's centuries of fighting.

Kurama frowned even more as he stopped, his eyes narrowing at the demon, eyes flickering over it twice before he looked back at me. He almost looked confused at that moment. "Izumi…there is nothing there."

"Eh?" I glanced at the body. "Yeah there is, the body is right here; maybe you should get your eyes checked." The demon was right under the lamplight, had his powers diminished so much his eyes were that of a human? Hell, I was pretty sure a human could see it from that distance.

The redhead shook his head walking forward again, his eyes carefully darting around the scene. "Izumi, there's no body there; I don't know what you're seeing but—"

"Hey, Kurama, I can see it too, you know, saw her take the asshole down myself." Kuwabara shouted looking as confused as I felt. Kurama just looked even more agitated by our answer. Frowning I turned and looked at the body. It was here, clear as day, the light of the street laps illuminating the blood splattered on the ground.

Or at least that is what I thought I saw, till I realized something rather odd. The closest light was closer to me than the body, and suddenly the lighting for the blood just looked… off, like I was looking at a painting rather then the real thing.

The world opened up, shattering around me. The image of the demon I had killed seemed to waver suddenly, his body becoming like a mirage. I blinked and tried to focus taking a step forward.

What it the world? What was going on?

Demonic energy soared through the air and I gasped turning slightly to look around, Kuwabara's shout of surprise echoing mine. Where had that suddenly come from? Glancing back at the body I felt my chest seize up for a moment. It was gone. All of it, the body and the blood that had poured out around it, even the snow was back in perfect order. It was all simply gone, as if it had never existed at all.

Never existed…

"Izumi!" It was a warning that I heard often enough when I didn't see what Kuronue did in my momentary glance around, not because I couldn't see it, but because my lack of experience didn't call it forward. The moment where the detective I was supposed to be, failed.

That then and there, would be a moment in time that I would regret for the rest of my life.

What an ending! OMG, you've got me on the edge of my seat here, Hon! Great job on this, and hope you have a great rest of the week!

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><p>Kuwabara just doesn't get enough love in my opinion. He'd be such an awesome brother figure, haha.<p>

also don't kill me...-hides-


	17. Chapter 17: Sayonara, Izumi

**Chapter Seventeen:** _Sayonara, Izumi_

I still remember the day I realized the world wasn't as cut and dry, as I had once believed. That at the end of the day good and evil, heroes and villains were worlds easily changed to the other depending on the point of view one sits at.

I remember how my views on demons had changed through Kuronue, how I had hated him at first, then I simply tried to ignore him, then, when my world had suddenly changed as I had realized the truth…I gave him the chance he deserved and our entire dynamic had changed.

He had asked me then, why I was giving him another chance after all the bad blood and words we had hissed at one another. I had grinned like a fool and answered: "Well, third times the charm, right?"

From that moment on we had changed; he was my extra pair of eyes and ears on the battlefield, a voice to call out things I missed. He had saved my life far too many times to count, and even though I tried to improve so he wouldn't have to, I often fell short.

It seemed no matter how hard I tried; human error would always rear its head at an inopportune time.

It was a strange thing really. The pain that came was almost numbing, as if a light shove had turned into a knife stab. But it wasn't a knife. I stumbled forward, but only for a moment as an arm came up and caged my shoulders, jerking me back upright. I hit something hard, solid, and warm. A strangled gasp mingled with a scream as I ignored the arm and the warmth and looked down, almost laughing at the irony. Jutting from the lower right side of my abdomen was the tip of my own weapon. The chain pooled behind me, but the weapon didn't sag; it was being held up by something, a hand maybe? Maybe the person holding me up upright now?

"Did you really think it was that easy?" A voice—his voice. The demon I thought had just died. "You should do your homework Izumi, I gave you plenty of opportunities to get my name, but you didn't care to do that did you? Walking in blind, I thought Koenma trained you better, or was it Enma's fault? No matter."

I gasped, the blade sliding through even more as he pushed. Kurama was frozen as I looked to him. His hand clutching a rose as if he'd been about to attack, but had stopped suddenly. He must have realized he had no way to get to me without hurting me along with the demon. He probably knew if he made one wrong move the demon could kill me, but he seemed surprised to see him there, just like I had been. Though, he said he hadn't seen the body, why was that, I wondered. Kuronue growled, trying to help keep my focused as my brain became fuzzy.

How had he even gotten there? How had he gotten to my scythe and to me with no one seeing it till a moment before?

What was going on?

"Who are you then?" I said quietly. "Go ahead and tell me."

The nameless demon laughed, his chest vibrating into me and causing more pain. "You already know who I am Izumi, and trust me our friend Kuro paid dearly for that."

Slowly, my mind worked backwards, the name sounding like someone I should have known. Kuro. Kuro. That was right; I had gotten information from a demon named Kuro about the demon rebellion going on.

He'd told me…everything…their locations, their plans, or at least the ones he had known. He told me their leader's name and…

I froze up; the final dot connecting at the last moment as I remember the lipless demon's words.

**"J-Jiro," he sputtered, and I put my hand back down. "His name is Jiro; he's an A class illusion demon."**

Illusion demon…the man behind me was a high classed Illusion demon.

_"Nothing I saw was real…"_ I thought bitterly. None of us had seen what we had thought. Kuronue was silently burning holes into the demon's skull, furious at the fact of being tricked. I had no idea how he could see the demon – Jiro – but I knew he was doing it.

_"We walked right into it. Who knows how long we were under his spell. Damn it! I should have seen it, I should have…"_ As he spoke his voice seemed to weaken, get further away as if he were in a tunnel.

It all made sense now. Why the demons had attacked the ranch, why some random demon had gotten through the gaps in the border and gotten my brother. The leader of the group I was hunting was also the brother of Umiko, the demon I had killed two years ago in this very park. Everything that had been happening – my master's death, my brother kidnapping, and the havoc in demon world – was my fault, because I had killed the only family he had.

"Figure it out did you?" he hissed, and then yanked my blade out. The scream that flew from my mouth didn't sound like me. The pain laced through me, icy cold and red hot at the same time, mixing together into something I had never felt. The sound unfroze Kurama and in seconds I was alone, Jiro having to get away from the rose whip that cracked past me, inches from my head. In one last failed effort I pivoted, swiping out at the demon with claws, but met nothing but air. I knew I should have been looking for the demon but I couldn't seem to get my body to move, as if my joins had suddenly rusted together. Each second passed like a decade of time and yet, everything was so slow, so unfocused.

Somewhere behind me I could hear Kuwabara yelling my name, my brother feet from him still lost in dreams. I wasn't sure who I was in that moment, Izumi, or April? It hardly mattered. I swallowed, my mind reeling at the thought of my brother seeing this. I was glad he wasn't.

I looked down again, my body hunched over, aware that only moments had passed. I could feel my hold on Kuronue's energy slipping, saw my black hair returning to its normal golden hue. I saw the strands float there for a moment in the air and then they rose up; and I was falling, the flames of pain dragging me down.

Footsteps.

I saw my knees hit the earth but the rest of me hit something hard and warm. I hadn't realized I had closed my eyes as I felt arms wrap around my shoulders. I opened them slowly and was met with a panicked green gaze. How had he made it across the park so fast? Oh right, he had attacked Jiro…Where was that demon now, I wondered?

"Kur…Kurama." My voice was a whisper and I hated it. I thought it would be pain that stopped my voice, but the pain had all but gone, a ghostly numbness taking its place.

A hand ran over my hair.

"I'm here." His voice was even, but then again, it always was. Slowly, He lowered me to the ground and lifted a free hand to examine my wound, ignoring the blood that had soaked my now normal clothes. Every touch, ever breath, should have hurt, but I felt nothing, only that I was now sitting on the ground, my back against his side where he knelt, my head on the inside of his shoulder. Shock, my mind told me; it was shock. Yet, it didn't feel like shock, well it half did. My arms were cold and my head was hazy but something was wrong, as if something was missing.

Then I realized I didn't really feel Kurama's hand on my wound.

My mind paused and in that moment I tried to calm the panic that bubbled up. I couldn't seem to grasp at it at first, what was happening. My mind refused to do so. It was all so stupid and final sounding, so ironic and almost fitting. After all, what had I done to kill the demon, or at least thought I had done? I'd severed his spine, cutting it along with the cord clear in half. Jiro seemed to have simply done a messier job.

"Izumi…" Kuronue's voice was but a whisper, one I couldn't find the will to answer.

I refocused, blinking slightly, feeling dazed and shocked. I tried to calm myself, concentrating on the motion of Kurama's left hand as it stroked my tangled hair. It didn't work, and so the words that suddenly consumed my mind still spilled from my mouth along with a ragged shudder that tasted like blood.

"I…I can't feel my legs."

Kurama's hands froze, I watched as his other hand stopped probing my wound for any hope. Slowly, as if his own appendage weighted a ton, he pulled his hand away, the fingers curling inward, and the one that had stopped petting my head, restarted. I heard him take in two long breaths through his mouth, and a shudder racked him, shaking me, and I cringed. Another breath, and he stilled, his free arm wrapping around my chest and pulling me more firmly to him, losing whatever stance he'd had to defend in a moment.

"It won't last long." His words were a promise, a dark, cruel one, but still a promise. I could hear the pain in the words, even as he tried to hide it. If he had given up then…then there was really nothing he could do…nothing anyone could do. I closed my eyes and nodded slightly. I felt so weak then, drained, as if I had been running for far too long and I would fall asleep in moments if I let myself. I was cold too, I registered, but oddly enough, I wasn't afraid.

This was nothing new.

_"It's over then."_ I was dying…again. I didn't receive an answer, and after a moment I realized my connection with Kuronue must have broken when the last of my spirit energy left me. All that was left was life energy now, and there wasn't much. It was all draining away with the red sticky stuff that was staining my clothes and Kurama's as well. My mind was silent, it was just me.

Just me…

I took a moment to bask in the irony that it was taking my death to truly have my mind back to me. Opening my eyes again, I found my brother's sleeping form across the way. Had it been so foolish to think I could be his hero one last time? In those moments I wasn't sure I could ever really be April again, no matter how much I wanted to be, if only for the night, for my brother. I hadn't been her for a very long time. Yet, to him, to my little brother, April was all I had ever been.

I lifted a hand and touched Kurama's that lay at my ribs.

"He can't…remember this." If anyone could understand my reasons it was Kurama. He'd had to do it once before after all, with Maya.

His hand moved and grabbed mine tightly. "He won't." His words dragged from him, and seemed to be left hanging as if there was more, but nothing came. It was too much, even for him, even for the great King of Thieves.

I smiled slightly and tried to look up at his face, but I couldn't get myself to move anymore, all I could manage was to squeeze his hand, feeble as it was. "Thank you…" I racked my brain, scolding myself. What kind of good-bye was that? I needed to tell him I love him, I needed to tell him it wasn't his fault, that I was sorry.

I needed…

Light exploded in front of my eyes, jarring me, throwing me off balance. I stumbled.

I stumbled?

I rubbed at my eyes, clearing my vision and looking around. At first all I saw was stars and treetops everywhere I looked and then, my eyes fell downward and I paused.

I wasn't looking at the ground, at least not very closely. I was in the air, and below me, Kurama cradled a body – my body – his clothes half soaked in blood. My blood, my mind reminded me. He was still and frozen just like my body, his hand unmoving in my hair.

Feet away Kuwabara stood looking shell shocked and guilt ridden as he glanced back to make sure Damien was still asleep. I had never seen the goofy guy look so lost. "Kurama? Buddy, I know it…Are you alright?" his words, though kind, meant nothing close to what was needed. Words wouldn't help, but that was all he had..

Kuwabara's words seemed to bring the statue of the redhead back to life, and slowly he raised his head just enough to look over my body. I watch in horror, as something slipped out his cheeks, glittering slightly in the dull cold light. Water splashed on my body's cheek, a small drop forming and running down the side, leaving a trail behind it. There were only three, but it was a number I had never seen coming.

He was crying.

I never, in my wildest thoughts ever consider such a thing. He was Kurama after all; he had been called 'the cold-hearted king' in his past. I hadn't thought it was possible…

What had he said to me that night? The night I had come home, shell shocked from the ranch? That for those of us who have seen so much and felt so much pain, that it would take something greater than anything we had felt to make tears form in our eyes.

"No." No emotion, nothing, just cold and calm, like ice and tinged with a anger so bright it nearly sent shudders down my spine.

The carrot top paused and stared, unable to really form words at that moment as Kurama slowly lifted my body from his and laid it on the ground. My eyes – glassy and glazed over – stared up into the night with no light left in them.

It took seeing my own eyes to really get what had happened, was happening. I was dead, I was a ghost, and even though I knew how it would go, and it wasn't my first time here my mind still felt the shock.

I was dead.

Again.

I watched Kurama, still stone faced, as he shifted to a crouch and slowly, using one hand, slid my body's eyelids shut.

I remember the morning have we bounded even closer, the night he'd found out everything. I'd asked him what he saw in the future but things had become too real again before he could answer, and then life had gone on, but now, now I knew. His tears were more than enough.

It had been me.

"Finally figured it out did you?"

Jerking around I blinked startled at the figure that stood, floating in front of me. It was rather odd, seeing him look solid.

"Kuronue…"

The bat demon simply smiled slightly tilting his head. He glanced behind me and down, over to his old partner, before looking back at me and shuffling over.

"Forgot did you? When you died, the contract I had with Spirit World ended, my soul is free now. I won't be bound to that pendant much longer, as soon as someone comes and picks us up…" he shrugged his shoulders and looked up at the night sky. "It is odd… not knowing what you are thinking, well, to a point I suppose I do, I know you well enough, but you know what I mean."

I did.

Even now my old friend was trying to distract me from my turmoil, but this time, my soul ached too much.

"It is weird." I agreed anyway.

It was low laugh, unrefined and almost menacing that got my attention again and I saw Kurama's head shoot up in the direct my eyes were drawn too. Standing close to where his dead body, the illusion I had killed, had laid, Jiro stood, his scaly tail swishing back and forth. "Well now, that was, almost sickening," he mused; a clawed hand brushed back dark blue hair. "She gave up so easily too, well so did you, didn't you Kurama? You might have been able to stop the bleeding you know."

He might have, I agreed, but I had a feeling the moment I had mentioned my legs the redhead had let that go. Even if I had lived, he knew that I wouldn't have wanted to be paralyzed for the rest of my life.

"Then again…perhaps not, your power levels are nearly painfully low. I guess what I heard was true," Jiro continued, eyes looking about, catching Kuwabara's harden gaze and then sliding over Damien's still form. Then, oddly enough he looked upwards towards me, though I knew I was invisible to all, except maybe Kuwabara. "I know you're watching, Izumi; ghosts don't have much of a choice but he see what happens right after they die. So, I'm going to let you in on a secret." He flexed his claws, a smirk stretching his lips. "I lied. Your death hardly is that satisfying, so, I'm going to make you watch as I kill that darling brother of yours. You'll be helpless to stop it…just as I was."

The snarled that ripped through his last words sent spikes through my spine and made both men stiffen, Kuwabara taking a step to put himself directly in front of my brother. My hands clenched and I felt like screaming. Kuwabara had said he would make sure my brother got home, and now, with my death, he was even more determined to make it so. Could he handle an A class on his own though? I knew he was strong, but he hadn't had to fight anything powerful in years.

Was I going to have to watch him die as well?

…What about Kurama?

"That fool doesn't know what he's done," Kuronue mused, calm and cool as always. I would have turned to give him a confused look if not for the sudden, violent torrent of demonic energy that almost knocked me right off my feet. My head snapped around, finding Kurama in an instant, and I took a step back at what I saw. His entire body was lined in a silver glow so cold it put the streetlights to shame. Energy curled around him and the icy glare that had morphed his face made Jiro pause in his words.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that." With those words, I truly realized just what Kuronue had meant. No matter how much Kurama had valued the peace he'd found here, no matter how much he wished to bury who he had been, anger and blood thirst, the need for revenge and justice had simply just won over. That statement was only made clearer as the redhead's form flickered and silver and gold replaced red and green over and over in an internal strife. In an instant, Youko Kurama stood looming by my corpse, demonic energy crackling around him like wispy storm clouds.

Jiro was doomed.

Said demon took a step back and his face paled slightly. "I thought you gave up your demon form!" When he reserved no answer other than a chilling glare he scowled. "Fine, no matter. You won't stop me; no one can, not when you can't see through my power." That certainly didn't stop the sudden wave of deadly vines that engulfed him in seconds only for his form to flicker away and for him to reappear elsewhere. "It will take more than that."

Their battled continued, Kurama barely moving as all manner of plants formed and attacked Jiro, who would seemed to easily evade them, at least as first. I caught sight of blood on his face and on his arm a few minutes later, but he was still moving, and Kurama seemed more agitated by the moment, street lamps bending and walk ways cracking.

"He's creating a mess," Kuronue muttered walking up next to me. "He's going to attract a lot of attention soon if he doesn't come back to his senses." He was right, this wasn't demon world, a place where monstrous battles took place on a normal basis. Humans were curious and with all the noise being made it was only a matter of time.

He could be found out and everything Kurama loved and held dear could be ripped away from him. Koenma would have no choice; he'd have to banish him to demon world.

"There's nothing we can do…" I muttered helpless to a fault. I had long forgotten such a feeling. I hated it.

"Not quite-well, for you yes, but for me? I do have my ways," Kuronue mused and I turned my startled gaze to him. The bat demon smirked, laying a hand on my shoulder. His touch was warm and solid, nothing I had ever thought I would feel. Now that we were both spirits, the boundaries between us had shattered. He looked ready to laugh at my expression, "Come now Izumi, you should know me better, I always have a plan, and I've had one for this very moment for a long, long time."

"What are you talking about?" I scowled and the bat demon tilted his head, his stupid hat shading his eyes.

"…do you remember a few months ago, when we spent the day apart, and you ran to Kurama's?" he questioned, and I blinked remember that day. I'd been so overwhelmed by the sudden shock of the time that had passed so quickly while I had been gone, I'd run to Kurama's house in a fit of fear and devastation. I'd fallen asleep and then…I'd dreamed about one of Kuronue's memories.

The hand on my shoulder yanked me to the side gently and I'm suddenly wrapped in Kuronue's arms, my forehead bumping against his collarbone. I'd forgotten how much taller he was then me. I blinked looking up and he smirked at me, but something in his eyes told a different story, something that made my chest constrict.

"I know you remember, didn't you ever wonder why?" he mused shrugging slightly. "Kurama put my pendent in your hand after you fell asleep; he had wanted to…chat with me after you had revealed everything."

Of course he had.

"What does that have to do with your memory…or any of this?" I grumbled pushing against him slightly, but he didn't let go. It was odd, being able to really touch him. The bat demon sighed and moved, resting his chin on my head and twitched.

"What you saw, that was my memories; in fact, what you saw was us planning to steal that bloody mirror from the Bamboo Temple." He was scowling, I could tell from the way he hissed the words through his teeth. I couldn't blame him; after all, it had been the heist that had brought him to this point in time. "What you heard on the other hand," he continued, "were the words being spoken while you slept. You heard them and your brain simply integrated them."

Well, that did make a bit more sense. Thinking about it, words came rushing back that suddenly held more meaning.

**"You don't know her the way I do-"**

**"You're in love with a ghost Kuronue, which I guess, is ironic."**

**"What you have done, you have forsaken yourself. What would happen if that loss meant you couldn't protect her, or anyone else?"**

**"And you could do better?"**

**"I'm not going to let her die, I promise you that Kurama. She deserves a life without pain, but that is impossible, and so I shall do what I can, when she needs it most."**

_**"I'm not going to let her die."**_

Something heavy dropped into my gut and I gasped suddenly. No. He couldn't be serious. There wasn't anything he could do, we were both dead.

"You probably think I'm crazy," Kuronue mused, the vibration running through his jaw and into the crown of my head. "But, like always, you give up just a bit too easily sometimes, Izumi." He pulled back and when I met his eyes I saw the warmth in his face he showed only once before. It was the same look he'd given me when he'd told me he loved me, knowing I would only refuse him.

I didn't like the feeling that look gave me. It felt too final.

"Kuronue…wait… I…"

His arms tightened and I suddenly found my own hand clutching at him, knotting himself in to his clothes, terror sweeping through me even though I didn't know why. He dropped his head, his mouth near my ear as he spoke.

"I am sorry Izumi, for this, for keep this from you. I had to, because I knew you'd hate this, but…I don't want to see you dead and to see you and my best friend in so much pain…" He chuckled dryly. "You just need one more chance. Third time's the charm, right, Izumi?"

I couldn't breathe. Gods, what was he planning? We were dead, was this some stupid gag of his? He felt warmer than before; I when I looked to the side, I nearly jumped. His skin was lit in a warm reddish glow, his pendant bright around his neck.

"Please…you can't…" He was crazy and he was rash and jealous, but he was my best friend and I needed him. My hands tore at his clothing in a death grip and I suddenly had to shut my eyes at the pain behind him.

His lips, warm and slightly chapped, brushed my forehead. I could feel the sly smile on them. Everything was so warm, his arms were so comforting and so I forced my eyes back open just in time to see his sapphire blue eyes meet mine.

"Things will be different for you now, but remember Izumi, even if you can't hear me, or feel me, I'll always be here, if only in your memories. You'll keep me alive though that, won't you?"

My chin shuddered and I clenched my teeth together and gave a jerky nod. I couldn't stop him. I didn't even know what he was going to do. He laughed slightly and pulled me as close as he could, his head near mine once more and I thought I would drown in his words.

"Sayonara, Izumi."

Below, a battle raged and around me, everything was warm. My world became nothing but blue, a deep sapphire blue that seemed to shimmer with trickling red dust. There was no pain; there was no laughter or anger. Just the color and the warmth.

Then I was falling and a sharp shattering sound echoed around me like glass, only deeper and thicker and so much more heart stopping.

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><p>...<p>

-hides from angry readers-


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